#unfortunately (or fortunately if that's what you wanted) you set me off
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ooo tea on your no-go tropes if ur comfortable sharing
oh sure they're nothing so weird or specific that it's going to call out one specific fic writer, since it's all stuff that I've seen multiple people write and/or talk and/or speculate about. (and some are holdovers from the comics; comics are hardly immune from me not liking things in them.)
Steve getting de-serumed. This one is a huge absolute no for me, and I'm not sure what about it makes me so uncomfortable, but it just does. It makes me so uncomfortable that I don't want to poke at it to figure out why. I know there was a lot of speculation about this circa CACW, around when the title was released but before there were any details of the movie known (when it was assumed it would be closer to the comics counterpart), and then it came again around IW and Endgame both, something about the idea of like..."both the audience and the in-universe characters need to know that Steve isn't Captain America just because he has the serum!" something about the "he needs to be physically depowered in order to Prove Himself" just rubs me absolutely the wrong way. (I think this is another factor in why the Captain Carter What If timeline bothers me so much, but like. there are multiple factors there. I think I talked once about how I have set points in canon and Steve getting the serum is one of them.) (there is one fic I like where the Avengers got deaged and Steve got shrunk back to pre-serum size, but not de-serumed, that one's fine.)
post-Ragnarok (usually IW/Endgame AUs) fics that have Loki on the Raft -- no-go, makes me super uncomfortable, don't want to read it -- I've read enough of it to know that I don't want to read more and it's just not my thing. fine if people like it, just not for me; not something I want to read, not something I'm ever going to write.
anything that characterizes Loki's adoption as baby-stealing (again, What If is not immune) -- I go on fairly regular rants about this, but I (somewhat unusually) have the background of someone who's done a not-insignificant amount of academic work on infant abandonment in the pre-modern world, so it's something I know a lot about on a legal/cultural level. I sometimes say only semi-facetiously that I got into this fandom because as someone who actually knows about this stuff I have a moral responsibility to write about it in a historically-accurate-inspired manner, except as we all know I have not actually posted the chapter that deals really extensively with it. But it makes me really frustrated that people don't seem to realize this was a historical reality and something that had a lot of laws associated with it, instead of being a freak occurrence that is Obviously Bad.
there are a lot of common tropes about Asgard that just make me insane. a brief survey: feudalism, primogeniture, sexism/misogyny -- like, the standard-issue high fantasy stuff that just gets transferred over without any critical thought. which, if that's what you want to write, fine, I hate it, but that's my problem, not yours, no one's forcing me to read it. people putting racism in Valhalla, hate that one, so much.
anything that uses comics!Natasha's backstory for MCU!Natasha. I realize that ten years ago this seemed a lot more reasonable (Natasha having a version of the super soldier serum, being extremely long-lived, etc.), but really from TWS onwards it should have been obvious that that was not the backstory that the MCU was using, and if you are still using that as a writer in 2022 I am judging you. like, I try not to judge people too much in terms of like. ignoring canon, but I literally can't read anything that still uses 2012 base assumptions. (this is hypocritical for me on several levels, though it's also one of the reasons I had to get out of Star Wars, but hey, brains aren't rational. it's one of the casualties of me coming back into the fandom late. it probably would not be a problem for me if I'd stuck around. I'd probably have the same problem I have in Star Wars.)
on a related note, one of my MCU NOTPs is BuckyNat and part of that is because so much of it depends on transferring comics!Natasha's backstory over to MCU!Natasha. they have only interacted twice in canon and both times they were trying to kill each other. every other time they have been in the same scene one or the other of them was interacting with Steve, not each other. like, the heart wants what it wants, shipping is shipping, but treating it as canon-established (which many, many people do in and out of fic fandom, I'm in non-fic fandom circles and people talk about it there as if it's something onscreen) is absurd to me and I'm just ????? to the extent that now I hate it. but no one is forcing me to read it, the heart wants the heart wants, I obviously ship something else so I'm not objective there -- it's just another no-go for me.
comics transference in general. this is going to sound weird, because obviously the MCU is an adaptation of the comic books, but at fourteen years in it should be obvious that you cannot uncritically transfer things over wholesale, especially when it comes to established characters, especially if it outright contradicts canon. I can't read comics!Clint characterization in MCU fic. that ship sailed in 2015 -- honestly, it sailed in 2012, but whatever; we have established that people saw a different movie in 2012 than the one that's on the screen. by the way, the actual MCU is not immune to this; it is at its absolute weakest when it just transfers things over from the comics and expects them to work. they don't. because the MCU ain't the comics. (the worst offender is the Loki ep "Journey Into Mystery" but it is not alone.)
just various characterization tendencies that I see in fandom -- characterization is actually the number one reason I don't usually read fic in my writing fandoms, because we all see characters differently and it's one of the very few things that will make me start doubting my own writing. or just making me angry. (I actually have a very short temper, I hate so many things, I just don't talk about them on main.) I know my characterization does not fly for a lot of people (though unlike in Star Wars, MCU readers don't tell me about it, but I know it has to be true because I've been in fandom for two decades), so again, it is what it is. I know how to click a back button.
there are so many ships I either outright hate or just dislike, but I tend to OTP pretty hardcore once I get there and no one is forcing me to read them. it just gets frustrating sometimes when the ships I dislike are the most common ships for the characters I also write and/or ship with other people. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but then I also can't really read fic for my own ships because uuuuuuuhhhhhhh the characterization is Wrong. not wrong, just Wrong for me personally. which is why I by and large don't read in my writing fandoms.
Steve Rogers is all hard edges. stop softening him. what the fuck.
#unfortunately (or fortunately if that's what you wanted) you set me off#these are all things I have seen multiple people do! this is not a callout of anyone specific!#I would not do that on main#I do that like the gods intended: in a private groupchat with close friends#hello I hate so many things!#which is why I write my own fanfic catered for my own tastes#except for the bits I cut out because I'm worried about getting harassed about them#maybe I'll put the stevenat back into yonder one of these days#siarrawrites#bedlam replies#bedlam watches the mcu
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秦彻 | SYLUS ; PLAN
summary | sylus sets a time limit for you to retrieve the brooch from him. unfortunately, you don't get it in time no matter how hard you try, but fortunately, it's sylus you're dealing with.
tags | nsfw (smut), fem!reader, mention of handcuffs, vaginal penetration, creampie, 2.9k words
a/n : inspired by his affinity lvl 15 story (?) aka the one where he gets handcuffed to the bed
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“oh,” sylus raises a brow, clearly finding this whole situation amusing. he’s handcuffed to his own bed with you straddling him, teasing him by tracing your index finger over his body. just how cocky were you?
sylus takes a deep breath in. “so you think you’ve got me now, is that right?”
you hum in response, stopping your finger near his abdomen. “think? no, i know,” you reply confidently, letting out a slight scoff. there was no way he could move, so you could find it freely as you pleased. this was the best scenario, and luckily you didn’t fumble it as this was your last attempt before the deadline reached.
unbeknownst to you, it’s not that he couldn’t un-cuff himselfー it’s actually quite offensive that you think that. it’s more of him wanting to see how far you would go if he wasn’t going to intervene, because it’s fun. how adorable you look thinking you’ve won, how eager you look to finally win against him in something. and so, he watches. eyes locked onto your every action and reaction as you try to find the hidden brooch.
you start at the top of his robe near his neck, your hand making it’s way down, slowly feeling for any small and hard object. you pat at the material rested on his chest, but still no sign.
sylus gives you a small smirk, and you narrow your eyes. you didn’t exactly trust him per se, even if he promised to keep his word. what if this was just a trick? what if he was just toying with you? what if he didn’t have the brooch?”
“are you sure the brooch is even on you?” you questioned. his growing smirk was only making you more suspicious by the minute.
“accusing me, kitten?” he asks, feigning disappointment. “you haven’t even finished looking.”
you roll your eyes at his words, mumbling a small whatever under your breath as you continued looking for the brooch. you smoothed your palm down his robe, patting around his waist. still nothing.
you were getting desperate at this pointー you were almost there. this was the best effort you’ve made so far, and you weren’t going to let your plan fail so easily. you swallow, trailing your hand further down his robe, albeit hesitantly. your hands were at his thigh, the thin material the only thing separating your skin with his.
mentally shaking your head to snap out of your thoughts, you continue feeling for where the brooch might be.
suddenly, you feel something hard. it’s hard, no mistake, but it was far from small.
…that’s definitely not the brooch.
“i’d be careful where you’re touching,” sylus speaks, his voice almost making you jump as you retracted your hand quickly. a tinge of red spreads across your cheeks, and you try to defend yourself.
“shutー quiet,” you stuttered. “i didn’t mean to, okay? sorry,” you apologized, breathing out as you tried to maintain your composure. focus on the goal, you repeated to yourself over and over again. you meet his eyes for a split second, and god, you want to wipe that smirk off his face.
he lets out a breathy chuckle, watching you get distracted as you panicked to look for the brooch.
you finally get to the bottom of his robe, but you find absolutely nothing. where else could he have hidden it? he had to have it with him… that was a rule, right?
“i swear, you’re playing with me,” you accused, defeated. how was this possible? you set everything up perfectly, and the one thing you couldn’t do was find the broochー despite being able to check him freely? “be honest, is it really on you or not?” you asked, squishing his cheeks together with your hand so he looks at you.
“oh, look at that,” he states, ignoring your question before tilting his head up slightly, glancing at the clock, then back to you.
“time’s up.”
you hear a soft click, your head snapping to the sound of the handcuffs unlocking as you let your hand fall.
your body moves instinctively, feet touching the floor as you push yourself off his bed to make your escape.
…only for him pull you back and throw you onto the bed, landing with a soft thud against his pillow. you try to lift yourself up again, but your wrists get pinned by his larger handsー all the more making it hard to move. you start to squirm a little, but decide it’s of no use.
“you really are naive,” sylus sighs, shaking his head in disappointment. how you thought a pair of poorly made handcuffs were supposed to restrict him was beyond comprehendible. “since you didn’t find it in time, i get to have my way with you.”
“whatever, justー just get on with it.” you roll your eyes, trying to act nonchalant, but you can’t help the sudden wave of pleasure that shoots through your body at his words.
complying, he slams his lips against yours, the kiss filled with hunger and greed. the kiss was far from sloppyー he made sure you felt everything, both physically and emotionally, very calculated. his tongue darts out to swipe against your bottom lip, and you gasp.
he takes this opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, the wet sounds of making out filling his room as he continued to french kiss you.
removing his hand from one of your wrists, he opts to grip your waist instead, subtly pushing your shirt higher and higher, until your bra was exposed.
you shouldn’t be enjoying this. yet here you were, squirming under him as your thighs rubbed against one another, eager to feel any sort of stimulation. his mouth felt so warm as he continued kissing you, and so did the atmosphere.
feeling the movement of your thighs, he lets go of your other wrist, spreading your legs apart before slotting himself in between them, his crotch flushed against you. he doesn’t break the kiss once, letting you grind onto his hardened bulge to relieve yourself.
“sylus,” you breathed out, pushing him away gently to catch your breath. you panted softly, a string of saliva connecting the both of your lips as he pulled back.
“what, kitten?” he leans back smugly, admiring how red your lips were. all his doing, of course. “you can’t even handle a bit of kissing?”
“that was not a bit of kissing,” you retorted, looking away. you noticed your clothes were starting to stick onto your skin, presumably from the heat. you start to slowly unbutton your shirt one by one, but he’s not having any of that.
he smacks your hand away, ripping open the shirt like it was paper, some buttons popping off. you couldn't even protest as he pulled your bra down, exposing your tits.
"what the fuck, sylus! that was my favorite shirt," you scolded, furrowing your brows. it was one of the few shirts you decided to splurge on after contemplating for a long time, and the fact that he just tore it like that...
"how much?" he questions, squeezing one of your tits.
"what? like, a little over a hundredー"
"insignificant," he cuts you off, latching onto one of your nipples. he already knew whatever value you said wouldn't matter much to himー he could buy you a million of those shirts and there wouldn't be a single dent to his bank account.
he continues to suck and fondle, alternating between each tit to give them equal attention. he bites occasionally, each time making you gasp. you thread your fingers through his hair, pulling every time he sucked or bit too hard.
after what felt like hours, sylus finally pulls off you with a pop, staring at the red marks, shining with his saliva around your tits. even better that it's from his doing. he lets out a satisfied sigh.
"don't... look at me like that," you whisper, covering his eyes, feeling slightly embarrassed.
he lets out a breathy chuckle, bringing your palm to his lips to kiss it. "you're getting shy now? you weren't earlier when you were touching me all over," he points out, pulling your pants and underwear off in one clean motion.
"and don't think i forgot when you brushed against my..."
"that's 'cause i was looking for the brooch!" you argued, letting out a defeated sigh. "...just fuck me already."
"it's interesting that you think you're in any position to make demands." he flips you over onto your hands and knees, giving your ass a loud slap, resonating throughout the room. "ass up, don't take your own sweet time."
you clicked your tongue at his attitude, but did as he told anyway. as much as you didn't want to admit it, you were eager. the last time the both of you had sex, he fucked you until you were on the brink of tears, moaning and drooling into his pillows that he had to change them after. it was amazing, to say the very least.
sylus shifts behind you, undoing his robe and getting rid of his boxers quickly. his cock stands erected, large obviously, and it's clear he's already been hard since the beginning. even if you don't turn around to look, you knew just how much pre-cum was leaking from his cock as he rubs the coated tip between your embarrassingly wet folds. so much so that you didn't even need any preparationー not even his fingers to spread your pussy open.
he gives your ass another slap again, before guiding his cock into your tight entrance. your pussy stretches around him to accommodate his girth, instinctively clamping down the moment it entered.
"ngh, sylus," you moan, fingers gripping onto his sheets, pillows, anything you could grab on to as he pushed more of his inches into you. you'll never get enough of how big he feels inside you, the empty space previously now filled to the brim with his cock, stretching you out to mold your insides to the shape of him.
"fuck... always so fucking tight, huh?" sylus exhales, bottoming out inside you. though, there was still some of his length left that your cunt couldn't take in. "this cock is too big for you."
you whined in response, spreading your legs further to take more of him in comfortably, but you could barely do so from how filled you were. there was simply no space inside you.
"aw, too much for you, kitten?" he mocks. pulling back to leave only his tip in, before slamming his entire length back into you.
"shutー ahー up!" you cry out as you jerk forward from the sheer force of his thrust. his hands were wrapped around your waist, pulling you back to meet each thrust of his cock. you should've known he was only going to go faster, his seemingly sweet and slow pace disappearing the moment he starts pounding into you at rapid speeds. his balls were hitting your clit every time he pushed his cock in, sending jolts of pleasure through you.
your sounds get louder and louder each time he fucks into you, so much so that you have to bury your face into the pillow to muffle your moans. it was going to happen againー his pillows stained with drool.
he slammed his hips against your ass harder, hoping to elicit more sounds from you. "sylus... mmph!" you moan, his name coming out unclear from how muffled you were.
"hmm?" he hums in question, pulling your hair to lift your face off the pillow. "who said that you could hide your pretty sounds?"
sylus pulls out before flipping you over again, this time taking a few seconds to admire your fucked out state. your face was flushed, half-lidded eyes and drool dribbling down the side of your mouth. he doesn't think he's ever seen a prettier sight.
"you're drooling," he points out, using his thumb to wipe some of it away. well, you knew that, but you don't care, because at this point, all you can think about is his cock. you've never been more grateful to him, more thankful that you met him, as he pushes his cock into you once more.
your walls feel so good around him, he has to take a brief breather before starting to thrust. such a tight cunt, he thinks again, because it's trueー he's never fucked this good of a pussy. wrapping around him so warmly, clenching onto him in all the right ways. he could die happy like this. he could die happy with you.
"fuck me, fuck meー fuck me," you beg, snapping him out of his thoughts. you push up against him, trying to move on your own, to take more of him in, to just do something. the lack of stimulation was killing you.
"stop," he hisses, gripping your thigh to stop you. "you're going to hurt yourself. let me do it."
and then he starts again, fucking you with so much vigor that you mentally question just how much stamina he actually has. he never lets his pace falter from then onwards, railing you as the bed starts to move along to his movements.
with no pillow to bury your face in, you couldn't hide your moans even if you wanted toー exactly what he wanted. you were screaming, "harderー fuckー yes! right there!"
"so noisy in bed," he groans, hands reaching up to intertwine your fingers with him. a small and sweet gesture, the complete opposite of how roughly he was ramming his cock deep inside you. repeatedly, at that same exact spot that had your eyes rolling backwards. if anyone was outside his doorー hell, not even outside his door, maybe even at a few rooms away, they would definitely still be able to hear you.
you wrap your legs around his waist tightly, feeling your orgasm approaching sooner than you thought. "sylus, i wannaー make me cum, please!"
no, he wanted to say. this wasn't your reward, you didn't even find the brooch. but he couldn't. because he was close too.
sylus wasn't going to deny you even if you didn't ask so nicely, even if you demanded him to. he knows the exact look on your face as you cum, and it's the same, perfect, expression that he loves so much each time. at your request, he lets go of one of your hands, dipping his fingers into your mouth before trailing down to rub circles around your clit.
unnecessary? yes, you were already soaking wet. just for good measure, he thinks. besides, you looked sexy with your mouth wrapped around his fingers, almost struggling with how much larger his digits were.
you start squirming, squeezing his hand tighter as he continues thrusting while rubbing, a deadly combo. "fuckー thaaat's it, be a good girl and cream on my cock."
"oh myー sylus!" you scream out his name as your orgasm hits you, eyes rolling back, nails digging into his hand, and your back arches off the bed. your pussy starts tightening and spasming around him like a vice. he feels you get so much, so much wetter that his cock almost slips out of you as he pulls back.
"such a sweet expression," he groans at the sight, pushing your legs back as he tries to angle his cock deeper into you. you try to close your legs from sensitivity, but he simply won't let you, not when he's so close to cumming.
"ohー yes, fuuuck..." he throws his head back with a final snap of his hips, his cock pulsing inside you as he pumps your pussy with cum, his thick load of semen coating your insides with warmth.
coming down from his high with a few more weak spurts of cum, he lets his head fall back down, a contented sigh as he pulls out slowly with a loud squelch. you whimper at the sensitivity, but also at the loss of his cock. his load takes a few seconds to dribble out, thick and creamy, leaving a trail down to your ass.
"satisfied?" he tilts his head, letting your legs down. "seems like you're done for tonight."
"yeah," you breathe out in exhaustion, feeling his hand caress your cheek. "the brooch," you paused, suddenly remembering.
"where is it, and... what's the actual punishment?"
sylus looks at you amused, reaching over to his robe tossed somewhere on the floor, unpinning the brooch before holding it towards you. "looking for this?"
you widened your eyes. how could it have been in his robe? you literally searched everywhereー
"i know what's going on in that little head of yours," he sighs, opening your palm to put it in your hand. "you got distracted, remember? you brushed past it and didn't even notice, kitten."
you groaned in frustration, mad at yourself that you didn't even notice. you basically just accused him for nothing.
"...and the actual punishment? for not getting the brooch in time?"
"no punishment," he states smugly, watching your lips part in disbelief.
"seriously? i put in a lot of effort into these plans, you know!" you smack his chest lightly. "i can't believe you."
"i'd say you gained a lot more than you lost," he says as a matter-of-factly, eyeing the white mess oozing out of your cunt.
"...shut up."
ー @yuki-world
#雪| 秦彻 sylus#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus smut#loveanddeepspace#lad#love and deepspace smut#lad smut#love and deepspace x reader#lad x reader#sylus x reader smut#loveanddeepspace x reader#love and deepspace sylus smut#lad sylus smut#loveanddeepspace smut#love and deepspace#sylus
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Dirty, Dirty Girl || PSH, 18+
Summary: You were the police captain's daughter. He was the resident bad boy. It was like a match made in lustful heaven.
Pairings: badboy!Sunghoon × police captain's daughter!reader
Warnings: Smut minors DNI, oral (f receiving), semi-public sex, exhibitionism, p in v, rough sex, unprotected sex (not for you), fingering, slight thigh riding, daddy kink, dumbification, breeding kink, degradation, multiple orgasms cause I'm a lonely piece of shit, cumming inside, mention of cigarettes, hoon and reader match each other's freaks a lot, me being a simp for park Sunghoon
A/N: yo yo yo Enhablr guess who's back from her monthly hibernation ME. Kinda died while I was writing this i initially wanted to do something really long, like with backstory and all that, but I neither had the time nor the energy so just enjoy the horny smut I wrote yipeee I hope my beloved @jaeyunluvr will enjoy this!!
Sunghoon's fingers toyed with the belt loop of his ripped jeans as he sat in a lazy posture in the almost empty library. This author says 'almost empty', because of the strict librarian dressed up in what appeared to be a sweater from the 70's and one Jay Park with his girlfriend, sitting in the corner and giggling over some book.
Sunghoon scoffed as he glanced at them from time to time, taking a swig from his bottle of 'water' everytime Jay's girlfriend slapped his chest playfully. Though Sunghoon was externally sporting a disgusted face (complete with his iconic side eye), internally, he was waiting for his own girlfriend to show up.
It was a calm Friday evening, which usually meant that Sunghoon would be living up to his ice prince title by going to some or the other party on the other side of town. But since last week (or was it last month?), he had been confined to the torturous prison of being tutored by a classmate in order to improve his grades. His parents had imposed it upon him after what had been his fifteenth run in with the local police captain.
Fortunately though, the captain, someone who was exactly like Sunghoon's father but only more stricter, had let Sunghoon go, on the condition that he'd attend his tutoring lessons. If he didn't, it would be straight to juvie.
Though Sunghoon wasn't someone who payed attention to threats and whatnot, having grown used to it after his reputation of the 'bad boy' was sought after by other people, he payed careful attention to his threat. Specifically, he paid careful attention to his tutor.
You.
His beautiful, smart girlfriend of a year now.
Fortunately for him, you were the one assigned by your teachers to be his tutor—all of them thinking that your inherent goodness might just rub off on him.
Unfortunately for him, you were also the police captain's beloved only child.
Sunghoon heard the door to the library slowly creak as it opened. Snapping his head to the direction of the sound, he beamed with happiness as he saw you, dressed in your usual shirt and cardigan along with a skirt that reached just above your knees. The sight of you drove Sunghoon crazy.
"Hey Hoonie." You smiled, as you sat down next to him on the chair, pulling yourself closer to the desk. No sooner had you set your bag down on the table, than Sunghoon had his hand placed on your thigh, gently squeezing it.
"Sunghoon." You glared playfully at him, "We need to study, come on."
"Whatever you say, princess." Sunghoon chuckled, opening up his books with a flick of his fingers whilst you arranged your own material on the table. He unconsciously scooted his chair closer to you, earning a rightful glare from the librarian at the sound of the chair scraping on the floor. Looking apologetically over at the librarian, you moved your book closer to his, ready to start the new (boring) math lesson.
••••••••••••••••
"So if you divide two here, what will you get?" You glanced at Sunghoon, taking your eyes off the book. You softly smiled when you saw him slightly dozing off. Sleep coated his features rather adorably to you.
"Hoonie..." You nudged him slightly with your elbow, "Baby, wake up." As a second measure, you leaned over and pressed your lips to his cheek, leaving a bit of your shiny lip balm on his porcelain skin.
"I was waiting for that." Sunghoon's soft voice vibrated through your being, as his eyes fluttered open. With a mischievous smirk on his face, he extended his arm and wrapped it around your waist, bringing his lips down to kiss all over your neck.
"Baby." You said with a stern tone, trying not to squirm out loud, due to the cheek-warming sensation of his arm squeezing your thigh and his lips brushing your neck so gently, "Sunghoon, we're in a library."
"And the way to the bathrooms is there." He tilted his head up from your neck and looked at you with darkened eyes, biting his bottom lip with his vampire-like teeth, "Come on princess." His mouth twisted into a smirk, "I know you want it."
Biting your own lip, you rolled your eyes, before closing your books and depositing them inside your bag. Sunghoon followed likewise, his hand not leaving your waist even once.
"Fuck you Park Sunghoon." You mumbled, as you walked over to where the sign written 'Bathroom' was pointing, "Do you have any idea what my dad would say if he found out about us?"
"Oh shush." Sunghoon chuckled, pressing a kiss to the side of your forehead, "He loves me enough to summon me to his office on a weekly basis."
"Keep up the delulu score Hoon." You giggled.
"More delusional than you?"
"Hey!"
•••••••••••
Sunghoon began to lead you through the library and into the dark bathroom, a sense of urgency in your steps as you made your way through the room, his hands only straying away from your skin for a few seconds, before going at it again.
You were a tangled mess, stumbling through the darkness, throwing your dignity off in corners neither of you didn't really care for and soon, your back was pressed against the graffiti-filled wall, with Sunghoon's hard-on rubbing against your skirt in such an agressive way, that you thought you might as well have cummed without even starting. You couldn't take it anymore and grabbed his neck, pulling him closer and pressed your lips to his. He didn't hesitate for a second and cooperated, biting your lower lip to have better penetration for his tongue.
"So needy for me, huh princess?" Sunghoon smirked through the kiss. His right hand went underneath your skirt, his fingers groping your thigh tightly until he was able to find the waistband of your panties, ripping it off faster than you could register anything. His lips never left your body even once, the pretty pink of it, decorating your skin with marks that you know you'll have to make up a curling iron excuse for.
"Hoonie—don't tease." You whined, your lips searched desperately for his.
"Patience baby." Sunghoon chuckled again, "Or does my princess not want my tongue, hm?"
You squirmed when you felt him quickly slipping a finger in your pussy, smiling into your neck as he felt you moan into his hand. Sunghoon pressed a kiss against your neck, as he wasted no time, thumb rubbing against your clit as his finger penetrated your hole. He stuck another finger in, loving the fact he had you trembling under him. His two fingers curved inside of you, watching as your thighs shook at his unexpected action.
"Fuck—daddy!" Your body shuttered as your lips let a moan escape, throwing your head back as his fingers worked rapidly around you. The small noises escaping your mouth showed Sunghoon how much you loved it as he pumped his finger into you.
“God — you’re so wet.” Sunghoon hummed, letting his head rest on your shoulder as he added another finger into the mix.
“fuck—“ you muttered, wincing a bit as his thick digits stretched you out. You spread your legs, giving Sunghoon a better angle to sink his fingers deeper into your pussy.
His lips angrily crashed into yours as his pace on your pussy slowed down, only slightly. You were moaning into each other's lips, a pornographic scene painted the library's bathroom and the thought occured to you only now, whether or not you had shit the door.
"Hoon—" you broke the kiss, your hands scratched at his back, "Hoonie—the door."
Sunghoon paused, a warm breath echoed against your skin as he mumbled a tiny 'fuck' and looked back, his eyes tracing the doorknob. You took the opportunity to stare at his neck, soft skin covering the strong thews of muscle, with a delicious looking vein tracing it like a never-ending valley.
Before you could stop yourself, your mouth was on his neck, leaving wet kisses at his veins, practically sucking the life out of his neck like a starved vampire. Sunghoon's fingers were still inside your gaping hole, something you didn't bother to remember until they suddenly snapped up and bumped against your cunt, making you gasp against Sunghoon's neck.
"Needy fucking baby." Sunghoon whispered, bringing his free hand up from your waist to stroke your cheeks gently. Looking at his gentle eyes, you seized the chance to crash your lips against his once more, tasting the intoxicating flavour of cigarettes and gin from his beautiful lips.
"Fuck princess...let me...let me taste you." Sunghoon whispered breathless against your lips, like he needed it badly, and it did make you stop, gently fluttering your eyes open with your hand hovering over his abs.
He gave you a devilish smirk, before he got on his knees and his face disappeared between your legs. Your breath started shaking as you leaned against your palms to have a better view of Sunghoon. Without any warning, he slammed his lips, still wet from your saliva, on your folds.You immediately throw your head back as you sink your fingers into his hair, while trying to keep your voice down.
He was just giving you a sweet little kisses at first, starting from your clit down to your pulsating core. He repeated this few times, before he penetrated his tongue inside you. You bite your lips really hard, as you desperately tried to be as quiet as possible. You were starting to closing your legs from that unimaginable pleasure, but Sunghoon had his strong hands on your thighs, keeping them from crushing his head.
You tasted amazing, he couldn't get enough of your juice and he needed more, he was voracious. That was why he buried his face even deeper into your core, making you arch your back and grab Sunghoon's hair really hard, that you almost pulled some out.
Your body was teetering on the edge, every stroke of Sunghoon's tongue pushing you closer to the brink. The way he alternated between nosing at your clit and teasing your entrance was driving you wild, your breath coming in short, desperate gasps. You could feel the pressure building, your muscles tightening as you tried to hold on, wanting to savor every second of the intoxicating pleasure he was giving you.
“Deeper, please. Almost there.” You gasped out as Sunghoon's tongue sucked mercilessly on your pussy, “Fuck, you feel so good, Hoonie.”
A keening moan tore from Sunghoon’s throat at your praise and that, combines with a particularly precise thrust of his fingers and his wet tongue pressing tightly against your clit made you stumble over the edge. Your orgasm ripped through you in waves, legs quivering, pussy clenching around Sunghoon’s tongue and chest heaving. Vaguely, you registered him moaning against you, his eyes falling shut as he worked you through your orgasm.
"fuck.." you heard (felt) Sunghoon groan, "that was some nice dinner."
"Fuck. You. Park. Sunghoon." You gasped with each letter, as Sunghoon pressed his hands to your thighs once more, "My dad is gonna kill me for being home late!"
"Poor baby." Sunghoon mockingly cooed at you, "Daddy's little girl aren't you?" His tone of voice had you struggling to shush your whimpering, "I'll drop you princess, just give him the old 'we were studying hard excuse'."
"The only thing that was hard here was your dick Park Sunghoon."
"And yet you love me."
•••••••••••
Your mouth stretched into a smile, as you felt your baby sister cuddle closer into your arms, all wrapped comfortably in her blanket. You truly loved her with all your heart but you hadn't gotten the opportunity to spend much time with her, as she was always with your mother. But for this evening, while your parents would be gone out on their sudden date, you'd have all the time in the world.
"Y/N honey!" You heard your mom call you from her room, adjacent to your sister's. Calling back to her, you put your sister down in her bassinet and with a twirl of her baby mobile, you skipped out the room and went into her room.
"You called, mom?" You said, eyeing your mother, who was re-applying her lipstick.
"Honey, Sunghoon's in the living room for you." Your mother said with a pop of her lips, "He came all the way here with his books so late at night, the poor boy."
Your stomach did a double flip when you heard Sunghoon's name came out of your mother's lips. Though your dad did not get along with him much, your mother adored him. Rather, she adored the innocent personality that Sunghoon had adopted specifically for her, for some stupid future plan he had created where he'd reveal your relationship with him to your parents as soon as he struck gold.
You had planned another tutoring session with Sunghoon that evening, but you must have completely forgot about it on hearing about your parent's date. Internally slapping yourself, you thanked your mother and made your way down to the living room, where you knew your worst nightmare would be sitting.
Your father and Park Sunghoon in one room.
•••••••••••••••
"So.." Sunghoon winced at the sound of the gruff male voice, "How have the tutoring lessons been?"
"Good, sir." Sunghoon painfully responded, "I've been doing better in class." With what he hoped was a goodie-two-shoes smile, he added, "All thanks to your daughter."
"My daughter, yes." The elder man nodded and coughed, adjusting his tie, "Remember, she's my daughter. So don't you try anything funny with her, got it?"
"Oh no, never sir." Sunghoon responded with a voice that he thought was a scandalized one, "I'd never do that." He tried hard not to remember your fucked out face the day before in the library.
"If you even go near her—"
"Dad, can you stop threatening him already?" You groaned, stepping into the room with a guffaw. If you asked Sunghoon later on, whether or not he pressed his legs together tighter after seeing your thighs in shorts that were definetly too short, he would probably say no.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't remember we had a session." You say down beside your dad, with your eyes glued to Sunghoon, "Um, we can study for an hour or two if you want."
"You can study until your mother and I get back." Your dad responded with a soft look towards you. You smiled back at him and glanced towards Sunghoon.
A devious smirk was almost tugging at the corner of his lips.
••••••••••••••
"Park Sunghoon, if you touch my thigh one more time, I'll make you do this entire chapter on your own."
"Oh what shame, I was positively dying to do it with you." Sunghoon said with his usual shit-eating grin.
"Why am I dating you again?" You rolled your eyes and turned your face away from him and towards your book. Soon enough however, when Sunghoon's fingers grabbed your chin ever so gently and turned it towards him, you were met with his eyes again.
"Because you love me." His cold breath against your skin made you softly gasp. Bringing your eyes down to his lips, you moved closer, before you were almost left without any space between the both of you, lips ghosting against each other in an attempt for a fervent kiss.
"Aren't we supposed to be studying, pretty?" Sunghoon let out a cold laugh, bringing his hand to cup your cheek again. But just as you were about to kiss–
Waahhhh!
"shit." You mumbled, darting your eyes towards the upstairs bedrooms, "I think she woke up."
"Your sister?" Sunghoon asked, releasing his grip on your thigh so you could get up, "Does she need food or something?"
"Nah she ate already." You replied, signalling him to follow you up the stairs, "She just gets cranky sometimes...you know–without mom."
"Ahh." Sunghoon nodded (as if he understood much about babies).
He promptly followed you into the dark room, which had all sorts of baby toys scattered on the floor, with only a faint blue light illuminating it's walls. In the middle of the room, was a bassinet, where a screaming baby ould be seen rolling in her sheets. Sunghoon's eyes carefully followed your hands, gently reaching out to your baby sister, all the while cooing her name.
"There, there I'm here, it's okay." You said gently, reaching into the bassinet and picking up the tiny bundle of blankets, "It's alright."
"Does she usually just stop crying if you say that?" Sunghoon whispered, his eyes never leaving the baby in your arms.
"You do, so I guess it'll work on her." You softly giggled, still rocking your sister forward and back, her cries died down after some time, although she still remained wide awake, staring curiously at the new presence in the room standing next to you.
"Why is she looking at me as if she wants to kill me." Sunghoon asked, eliciting a laugh out of you.
"She's a baby, Hoon. She looks at everyone like that." You laughed again, looking at your sister practically glaring at Sunghoon, "I don't think she likes her future brother-in-law that much though."
"Brother in law huh?" Sunghoon asked in a cocky manner, "Well, my apologies great princess." He lowered his head towards your sister, who magically seemed to be satisfied. Her tiny mouth framed an adorable yawn, and her eyelids slowly drooped until she was fast asleep in your arms again.
You lowered her into a bassinet once more, adjusting her blankets around her so that she could cuddle into it in her sleep, a fact you knew from your nights of babysitting. Looking at her once last time, you activated the baby mobile, and stepped out, with Sunghoon following behind you. You shut the door behind you as quietly as possible, breathing a sigh of relief that your sister didn't wake up.
"How about we study in your room?" Sunghoon suggested from behind you, "If she wakes up again, you don't have to climb the stairs."
"Good idea."
••••••••••••••••••••
You didn't know how much time has passed since you and Sunghoon had been doing physics equations in your bedroom, with him sitting on your computer chair, and you sitting on the edge of the bed, with books propped up in both your laps. Time slowly ticked by in the lighthearted conversations and stupid questions about gravity, that you didn't have the chance to notice how particularly delicious and inviting Sunghoon's lap was looking. But now, in the peaceful silence, you could practically hear your eyelashes flutter at the sight of his lap.
"Staring are we, princess?" Sunghoon chuckled, snapping you out of your daze.
"Nope." You responded with a smile, like a complete and utter liar, "Just—got distracted."
"By my legs?" He laughed again, "Aww, does my princess want to sit on my lap?"
"Sunghoon no." You rolled your eyes, quickly changing the subject, "We should study something else, I'll get the chemistry manuals."
But just as you got up, Sunghoon swiftly grabbed your wrist, pulling you harshly against him, such that you perfectly fell onto his thigh. His arms settled on your waist to balance you, and his lips pressed a wet kiss to your neck. One of his hands travelled up your body to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear, an action which sent butterflies wilding in your stomach, and the north sea wilding in your pants.
"Hoonie~" you said, silently gasping at the way he steadied his thigh such that it out pressure against your cunt through your shorts, "We shouldn't....."
But Sunghoon said nothing at all, merely resorting to squeezing your waist with his hands, and pressing his mouth to your neck, suckling hard on your skin. His obsession for leaving his beautiful marks on you was not letting go, and soon enough, you had to give in, reciprocating with a deep mouthed kiss to his puckered lips.
Sunghoon's tongue swirled inside your mouth, and you could taste the flavour of cherry pie, a bit of vodka too and a whole lot of love. You slightly bit his lip, putting your hand on his chest and pulling his shirt towards you.
When Sunghoon felt you rock against him slightly he knew he had broken that barrier, which was keeping you from letting him absolutely ravish your pussy. You were never this forward with him, and was always the one to stop Sunghoon when he got a bit carried away. Yet there you were, gently rocking against him while you kissed, moving against his jeans almost desperately, rubbing against him until there was a rock hard bulge for you to move against and he had to gently push you off him.
“Sunghoon,” you basically mewl his name, eight letters that roll off your tongue with little effort. He doesn’t seem to acknowledge you, his kisses growing harsher on the delicate skin of your neck. Threading your fingers through his hair, you decide to try again, speaking a bit louder this time. “Daddy, please.”
“What do you want, then? You can tell me,” he kisses you on the lips, softly at first. What starts as nothing more than a sweet kiss turns into a needier one, his hard on poking you through your shorts. “Come on. Tell me, baby. What does my sweet girl want?”
He peels his eyes open, takes in the sight of you, and lifts his hands from your waist to remove your top. He easily pulls it off of you and discards it in a corner, and before you know it, your bare chest is being massaged by Sunghoon's hand. He bites his lip as he plays with your nipples, reveling in the way you whimper at the sensitive touch.
"You like that princess?" Sunghoon asks in his cocky manner, "Shouldn't we continue this somewhere else?"
Before you could respond, his hands are propped up against your ass and he's carrying you to your bed, laying you down ever so gently. You let out a whine at his hands leaving your skin, but quickly shut up as you watch him carefully take his belt off, setting it aside on the bed. His hard on was visible from his pants, and the sight of it already had you cumming.
His tongue swiped over his lips, wetting it before, he swiftly took his shirt off, revealing his chiseled figure. Your eyes lingered over his abs, going further down to his length as he took his pants off. Sunghoon stood, like some Greek god before you, handsome, carved and waiting to be pleasured. And you were more than glad to let him use your hole as his fucktoy for the evening.
"You'll be quiet, yeah princess?" Sunghoon crawled up with bed and got on top of you, getting his face as near to your as possible, "Don't wanna wake your sister up now do we?"
With a smirk, Sunghoon lowered his mouth to your neck, kissing down your collarbone, his hands exploring every curve of your body. The sensation was electric, igniting every nerve ending in ways you never imagined possible. He moved with the grace of a predator, just as fierce as he was intoxicating.
"Tell me what you want, baby." He said, in between kisses, "Tongue as usual?"
"Please Hoonie." You sigh, smiling at him. He starts to kiss down the length of your body, starting with feather light kisses at your collarbone, and going to rougher kisses down your stomach. Your eyes catch Sunghoon's biceps flex as he spreads your legs open, like he's preparing some food to devour on a silver platter.
The sight in front of him was almost too arousing for his already too-rock hard length. Strings of your arousal all so pretty and ready for him to use, your swollen clit that peaked out from your pink folds, such a beautiful cunt he was about to savor. Sunghoon licked a fat stripe up from the bottom to the top of your slit, gently placing teasing kisses on your sensitive bud.
“Daddy — oh! Mm.. oh my God oh!” His ears soaked in the sounds of your moans, each shaky breath, every gasp and groan, all of it because of him. Sunghoon could never get over your taste, you were oh so sweet, a nectar of the highest quality, he thanked whatever god there was for the privilege to savor you. Every swipe of his muscle made you sticky and beautiful, as your cunt became deliciously glossy he become more insatiable. He lifted his head periodically, only to coo or groan.
“Fuck me baby, taste so fucking good — feels good doesn’t it my little princess? Yes it does” he murmured as we dropped his head back down.The corners of his mouth curled up in a beautiful smirk.
"Stupid baby. Don't have any shame fucking me with your baby sister sleeping next door?" Tsk tsk." Sunghoon clicked his tongue, you couldn't register much, though his tongue was not inside you, you could still feel it's touch, "Dirty dirty princess."
Your head flew back when he began to swirl his tongue around your clit, euphoria gnawing at any sense of inhibitions you had left as you practically wailed in ecstasy. You felt all of your limbs turn to jelly the second Sunghoon suddenly plunged his thick tongue back into your entrance.
"Sunghoon!" you mewled as he thrusted his wet muscle deep inside your juicy, pulsing hole. Your breasts rose and fell quickly as you felt yourself careening towards the edge of your release. You screamed his name as your body grew stiff, your walls hugging his tongue as it relentlessly massaged the inside of your gushing cunt.
Sunghoon groaned as he slurped your delicious juices like a man parched. You saw stars as your body was overwhelmed with wave after wave of bliss, your mind foggy as you practically rode his face. Eventually, your breathing began to settle as you lowered your hips back onto the mattress.
Sunghoon took note of the way your thighs slightly shook. Just after my tongue, he silently chuckled, feeling proud of himself. Slowly, he rose up and brought his hands back to your waist, steadying himself on top of you. You could feel his hardened cock just touch your vulva.
"Hoonie~" you groaned, "Hoonie~need your cock please."
Sunghoon did nothing but let out a rather attractive chuckle, while his mouth formed into a devilish smirk. If you knew Park Sunghoon, you knew that smirk meant trouble.
His hips were easing back and forth, the fat tip of his swollen cock rubbing all in between your slicked folds. And there were, watching him with a gaping mouth as he sits there and teases your cunt.
"Daddy~" a pathetic whine now leaves your lips, a desperate cry of help that makes you look so innocent, so pure to Sunghoon, it almost drove him crazy.
"Poor baby." He cooed at you, his angry tip still teasing your vulva, "Want daddy's cock so bad huh?" His low chuckle sent a wave through your body, "C'mon princess, be a good girl and tell me how much you want my cock."
"Please daddy~" you let out a high pitched whine again, all your self respect was lost for his cock, "~need your cock so bad."
Sunghoon muttered your name, low in the base of his throat, before he leaned in. Your lips met slowly, molding together in harmony for one slow second before you opened your mouth. Inviting him in, you kissed delicately and placed your arms on his sides. Your heads turned in opposite directions, opening up for more room to explore with your tongues. The intensity grew, as did the burning desire in his core to feel your pussy. To feel you, live you, breathe you, he was going insane. Just touching your hair, trying his hardest not to mess it up, was sending hot arousal down his cock into his swollen head.
"My dumb little princess." Sunghoon mumbled, you could feel his pre-cum slowly drip down on your thigh from his bare cock hanging above you, "So needy for her daddy."
You couldn't even respond before you feel the head of his dick teasing your entrance, and you slowly lower yourself onto him, taking him inside inch by delicious inch. You moan as he stretches you, filling you up completely.
Once he is fully sheathed inside you, you stay still for a moment, enjoying the sensation of being impaled on his thick cock. He listened to your whines, nodding while you blabbered whatever you were blabbering, slowly pushing himself in you. You shivered at the additional heat burning from your lower stomach. You had been pleading for this and still it felt as though your mind would rupture at any given second.
The feel of his large length inside of you lights your nerves on fire. His swollen cock head kisses your cervix just right, sensing socks of pleasure throughout your dripping core. You're shuddering and shaking in pleasure with every move you make, which causes his cock to slide deeply in and out of you; hitting your special spot just right. Sunghoon was writhing in his ego at the fact that he wasn't even going at his normal pace.
"Feelin' so good, tight little pussy wrapped around me so perfect-fuck," Sunghoon rasped as his nails dug into your sides. You cried out when he brushed over your g-spot, stars bursting across your vision as your legs shook. Sunghoon grunted as he started to pick up the pace, your cheeks clapping against the mattress as he thrusted into your weeping cunt.
"D-Daddyyyy~" you rasped as your jaw went slack. Sunghoon hissed between gritted teeth as your cunt convulsed around his cock, sucking him in deeper as he shallowly thrusted into you.
"Yeah that's it—soak daddy's cock," he breathed as he held your asscheeks apart. Your hole puckered around his girth as you shivered, your hips shifting back on their own as Sunghoon fucked you through your high.
"So—shit–tight for me." He growls out, sitting on his knees while his massive hands easily hold onto your hips, lifting you up with him while he pounded into you, your moans mixed with his as he used you like you were simply a fleshlight— compared to his massive frame, you are.
He moves your hips away as he pulls out, suddenly slamming himself all the way back in before you can protest. He drags a whiny moan out of you, pain and pleasure mixing as you can feel a familiar warmth building up in your stomach. He leans down, his breath hot against your ear as he mutters out pure nonsense. His voice sounds hotter than ever and you listen intently, dumbly nodding your head to his words despite not understanding him.
As the tightness in your stomach continues to build, your fingers loop through the softest curls of Sunghoon's and tug, pulling his face down to meet yours. Your lips crashing together in a heated kiss, tongues swirling against each other. Sunghoon's pace quickens, his movements sloppy and desperate as he chases his release and you wrap your legs around his waist, locking your ankles together behind him and pressing him deeper inside you.
“F-fuck, i’m gonna cum, you gotta let go” Sunghoon pants, pulling back from your kiss slightly to speak but you shake your head.
“Inside, Hoonie please. Ngh– want you to fill me up” you moan against his lips, your words causing his eyes to roll back in his head as he returns his lips to yours.
With one last thrust, a low guttural moan pulls from the back of Sunghoon’s throat and you feel his cock twitching inside you, flicking up towards your sweet spot a final time. His twitching and the warmth of his release pumping into you pushes you over the edge, the knot in your stomach snapping as a stream of moans falls from your lips.
Sunghoon's lust blown eyes rolled into the back of his head as he witnessed you squirting messily around his cock. It was the hottest thing he's seen in his life. Oh, how you're fucking perfect for him.
“Fuck—you want my baby, huh princess? You don't wanna wait anymore?.” Your boyfriend points out while pistoning in and out of you at an uncontrollable speed. “Shit–you're so messy." He thrusts into you mercilessly like an addict, your pussy was the highest high he could ever reach, "My messy girl."
Resting your forehead against his, you blissfully order, “Cum inside me, daddy please.”
And that was all Sunghoon needed to hear to release his pent up please. His balls tensed as he bucked up deep inside of your cunt, only to unleash rope after rope of his cum. You hold on to his shoulders as he empties his balls inside of you; painting your hole white with his thick, hot seed.
"Fucking hell." You swore loudly, falling down on the mattress with a thud. Your chest rose up and down rapidly, your breath slowing with each minute. You saw Sunghoon steady himself before he pulled out. You winced when you felt your hole being emptied.
Your eyes followed Sunghoon as he sat on his knees, throwing his head back, with a panting chest. You didn't register much of him sliding into bed next to you, your brain was too fucked out to notice anything at all.
"Should I run a bath, baby?" He asked gently, tracing circles on your thigh with his finger. You twisted your body towards him and latched onto his arm, bringing yourself closer to him.
"Mum and dad won't be here for another two hours." You told him, your hand cradling his cheek. His jawline was so sharp you were surprised it hadn't cut you yet.
"Two hours huh?" Sunghoon asked, the smirk back on his face, as he took your hand from his cheek and kissed it.
"Round two?"
Taglist: @jjongsha @furina-toko @jakeswifez @kpopaussieline @lvnglysunoo @hearts4yawnzzn @pasteltheghost16
#sunghoon smut#park sunghoon#park sunghoon x reader#sunghoon#park sunghoon smut#sunghoon hard thoughts#sunghoon hard hours#park sunghoon hard thoughts#park sunghoon hard hours#enhypen smut#enhypen smut imagines#enhypen smut reactions#enha smut#enha hard thoughts#enha hard hours#enhypen hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon smau#sunghoon fanfic#enhypen × reader#enha × reader#sunghoon × reader#heeseung hard thoughts#heeseung hard hours#jay hard thoughts#jay hard hours#jake hard hours#jake hard thoughts#enhypen fic
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rule no. 1
summary: you have a no-contact rule going with your ex, choi seungcheol, but fortunately unfortunately for you, he’s not really the type to follow them.
tags: ex! seungcheol x reader, seungcheol’s kind of toxic and doesn’t know how to let go, tit sucking (both cheol and reader), piv sex, protected sex, then unprotected sex (stay safe out there), pet names (daddy, good girl), cheol is written based off EXACTLY how he looks in these pictures | wc: 2.7k
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8:11 PM
[choi seungcheol] hey
[you] what
[choi seungcheol] can we meet today?
[you] i don’t think that’s a good idea
[choi seungcheol] just to talk. nothing else. i swear.
[you] dude, what are you doing? you know we’re supposed to be going no contact. plus, it’s raining
[choi seungcheol] i’ll come to you
[choi seungcheol] and don't call me dude ever again or i'll seriously kill myself
[you] NO. do not come here. it’s late. let’s talk tomorrow okay?
11:17 PM
[choi seungcheol] i’m downstairs
[you] seungcheol..
[choi seungcheol] you want me to leave? i drove all this way though?
[you] fine.
[you] just talking.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
his shock red hair. that’s the first thing you notice after opening the door, followed by just how good he looks with it. stop.
seungcheol walks straight in, fishing his car keys out of his pocket and dropping them in that little bowl on your shoe cabinet. then he looks at you. no, he checks you out, his eyes slowly sliding up your body to see what you’re wearing.
god, he has no self control. you knew he’d do that, which is why you’d worn your frumpiest PJs. a clear visual indication that nothing was going to happen tonight.
‘just talking’ you reiterate, drawing an imaginary line on the floor with your foot.
seungcheol laughs, extending his arm, signaling you to walk ahead and lead the way. the thing is, he wants to check your ass out. though you may think this is your frumpiest pair, there’s something in the material which makes it cling to your cheeks, making them look extra juicy.
seungcheol follows behind you, maintaining the “line” until you pause abruptly and he takes a step too close. just like that, he’s already crossed it, and then, he’s already kissing you, already taking off his glasses, already tossing his beanie aside, already grabbing your ass, already carrying you to the bedroom.
‘t-this is a bad idea’ you stutter, trying to find some of that self-control you keep asking him to show.
‘i know. so bad’ he breathes into the curve of your neck, sucking on the skin hungrily until it breaks. ex-seungcheol was obsessed with leaving marks of himself on you — hickeys, bites, hand prints.
he stumbles into the bedroom, leaving the lights off, and sets you down on the edge of the bed. no, you can't be doing this again.
‘seungcheol, i really don’t think-’
‘shh, don’t say anything, just kiss me. look at me' he grabs your chin, angling your face up ‘kiss me’ he says like it’s just that simple. seungcheol snakes his long tongue into your mouth, kissing you, his hands busy unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down just enough to let his cock breathe. as you kiss, he lays you down on the bed, driving a knee in between your legs to spread them apart.
‘do you still like it when i do this?’ he asks, as if there’s any answer apart from fuck yes, and presses his knee to your core, grinding hard, sending pulses of pleasure straight through you. you answer with an involuntary moan, stifling it just in time so he doesn't hear.
you see, seungcheol doesn't need an answer from you. he can already guess from your erect nipples which are poking through the thin fabric of your t-shirt, asking to be sucked on. who's he to deny them that? so, he pushes your t-shirt up, above your tits, grabbing and pressing them together, and buries his face into the valley of your breasts.
‘fuck’ he inhales ‘missed this’
ex-seungcheol was all about missing you — missed your smell, missed this pussy, missed your pretty little mouth, missed you. you know seungcheol. you know once he latches onto your tits, he's not leaving till you both have finished. so, you make a last-ditch attempt.
‘you know that article i sent you?’ he cups a breast in each hand, rolling, teasing, and tugging your nipples in between his fingers.
‘it-’ god, that feels good ‘it says the best way for us to do this is to go no-contact. really’
‘yeah?' you nod, surprised he's even listening.
‘fuck that article’ and with that he takes you in his mouth, swirling his tongue around your areola before latching his soft lips onto your hard nipples. fine, just one last time then, you pacify yourself and let go. you sink into the feeling of your breasts being sucked on, while your fingers sink into his thick hair, tugging on tufts of red.
‘the red looks fucking hot, by the way’ your compliment sandwiched in between soft moans. seungcheol pulls off your breast, looking up at you, a sudden hunger in his eyes.
ex-seungcheol loves compliments. loves them. — compliment his face, his hair, his built, and definitely compliment his cock. he needs to be desired by his exes.
he leans back, ripping his overshirt and t-shirt off, his hair falling wildly over his face. seungcheol runs both his hands through his locks, slicking his hair back. ‘take your clothes off’ he’s got a little gruff in his voice ‘now’
you undress hastily, and it’s not until you see a cocky grin spread across his face, you realise what he’s noticed.
‘just talking, huh?’
you’re wearing those panties — the ‘pull aside pair’ as he called it. seungcheol loved these on you, it was his favourite because firstly, they just about covered your cunt and secondly, they would ride right up your ass giving him the best view. you and him both knew that if you’re going to wear these panties, he’s going to fuck you with them on.
of course you’d prepped incase he did come over, which had happened one too many times before, but the optics of this really don’t help your no-contact agenda.
‘let’s talk then’ he pulls his jeans and boxers off, his cock springing out. yummy.
‘why don’t we talk about how you’re wearing these, hhmn?’ he cocks an eyebrow, snapping the band of your underwear hard ‘you know what happens when you wear these’ you can’t count the number of times he’s cum on your ass while you were in them.
he pulls your panties to the side, and there, another surprise. ‘oh, fuck me’ he groans needily. not only have you shaved down there, but you’ve trimmed your hair just the way he likes it.
‘fucking hell’ seungcheol curses again, licking and sticking a finger inside you, feeling your wet warmth pull his finger right in. ‘or no, let’s talk about how i can already fit one. no, two. oh? three?’ yes, three.
‘three of my fingers inside your pussy so easily’ he slides them in, all three coming out with a glossy sheen. and then, in a sickeningly sensual move, his runs his flat tongue over all three, licking them clean.
‘you taste like you need a dick inside you’ seungcheol grabs his, slapping it hard against his cupped palm. it’s like every thought in your mind turns into mush at the sound, and suddenly you’re just a hole. an empty hole.
‘cheollie’ you shouldn’t be calling him that ‘please put your big fat dick inside me. i need you so bad, cheollie’ you know exactly what to say to seungcheol to make him tick. ex or not.
he groans, pulling down a pillow and placing it under your lap to lift your hips. then he positions himself, lining himself up to your entrance.
‘wait’ you pause, much to his dicks disappointment, to grab a condom from the bedside table, your body twisting on its side. fuck, that ass looks good, seungcheol thinks, giving it a tight slap. ‘mmm’ you bite your lip, looking back at him.
‘again, daddy’ he slaps it even harder, the force of his palm making ripples on your skin. he looks at you now, so full of lust, and he can’t remember why he ever let you go. stupid fucking decision.
‘be a good girl and put it on for me’ it was one those odd things that really turned him on. he watches now as you rip the condom wrapper with your teeth, slowly rolling down its slippery edges onto his fat dick.
‘now come to daddy’ you lay back down as he grabs your legs and slides you towards him, a little squeal spilling out of you.
‘tell me what you want’
‘i want your fat dick inside my tight wet pussy’
‘that’s my girl’ he hooks two fingers under the ribbed fabric of your panties and pulls them aside, sliding his tip up and down your slick folds a few times before pushing just his fat mushroom head in. ‘fuck’ you both curse at the same time, and in the same breath as he penetrates you little by little until he’s all the way in.
‘shit, missed this pussy so much’ and you don’t say it out loud, but as he starts thrusting you’re reminded of just how much you missed his cock. no amount of vibrators and dildos could do for you what seungcheol is doing right now. it’s like he’s been able to scratch an itch deep, deep inside you. literally.
seungcheol repositions himself, leaning a little lower, angling his strokes a little higher, his cock teasing the roof of your pussy. once he’s satisfied with how he’s buried inside you, he slides his big hands up your arms before gripping your wrists tightly, shackling them in his palms, and slams down, pinning you onto the bed and fucking you.
‘oh fuck, yes’ you moan, in that nasal little way you do, which he finds stupidly hot.
‘that’s what daddy likes to hear’ he grins, his tongue touching his canines.
speaking of stupidly hot, you can’t help but notice how good he looks on top of you. has he gotten bigger? looks like it. his chest seems to have doubled, looking bigger, firmer, and frankly, more suckable. has he gotten hotter? definitely. maybe it's an ex thing or maybe it’s the red hair. god bless his hairdresser.
you’re a little dazed honestly, by his buff(er) built, especially the silver cross necklace that’s hanging off his thick neck, swinging above your face with every thrust.
‘like what you see?' he raises his eyebrow, catching you staring, and in response you bite on the dangling silver and pull him down towards you. you take his tongue into your mouth, swapping spit like a couple of teenagers.
now closer to you, you get a whiff of the faint smell of alcohol and cigarettes coming off him. you wonder where he was before this, and who got to see him looking this fine. there’s a hot sting of jealousy that cools when his chain skims across your breast, the cold metal making your nipples hard in an instant. seungcheol gets distracted by your tits once again, pushing them together and holding on as he fucks you.
‘love your tits’
‘love yours’ oh, they’ve definitely gotten bigger, you think, cupping one in your hand and circling your thumb over his nipple.
‘fuck yes, suck on it’ he bends, and you take him in your mouth, sucking on his tits, flicking his hard nub with your wet tongue.
‘yes, that’s it, good girl’ he grabs a fistful of your hair, pushing your face into his chest. seungcheol loved getting his nipples stimulated, and you feel the pleasure you're giving him pound straight back into you.
‘fucking love your pussy’
‘mmm, love your fat cock in my pussy’
‘love-’ the words are at the tip of his tongue, but before he says the stupid thing he’s not supposed to say, you kiss him, clenching your cunt so tightly and abruptly that it knocks the strength out his arms for a split second.
‘fuck, that feels amazing’ he groans ‘love your pussy so much. it’s made just for me’
‘just mine to fuck, only mine’ his possessiveness — one of the reasons it didn’t work, but so sexy in this moment.
‘yeah?’ you know what he’s really asking. he wants to know if you’ve fucked anyone else in your weeks apart, if there’s a legitimate reason for that condom separating the both of you or if its a formality. he needs to know.
ex-seungcheol is greedy — he reminded you of a bratty child at times. it was not his toy anymore but he refused to let anyone else play with it. mine!
‘only yours’ you say, and take it a step further, whispering into his ear ‘i’m only yours so take the condom off and fuck me raw’
the no-contact rule dies a violent death as he pulls out, yanking off the condom and sliding his fat, veiny, throbbing cock back inside you in what seems like less than a second.
‘fuck’ the sensation of your raw slippery cunt in contrast with how tight you’re clenching around his dick makes him curse. you wrap your legs around his waist, digging the heels of your foot into his back to push him deeper inside you.
‘y-yes, i can feel you so deep’ you breathe, two of your fingers sliding down to rub your swollen clit in sloppy circles.
‘god i love it when you play with your pussy with my dick deep inside you’ he’s fucking you so forcefully now that the slap of his skin against yours is all that can be heard.
your arch your back, closing your eyes and focusing hard on all the ways you’re being stimulated — your fingertips on your clit, the tip of his penis pressing against your walls, and his heavy balls slapping against your asshole — all the sensations twisting into a knot in your stomach.
‘you’re there, right there. do it’ he guides you ‘be a good girl and cum for me now’ his words are all you need as the knot tightens and then unravels, the orgasm taking over you from your head to your toes. it’s an addictive high, one that you’ve desperately missed, and it leaves you shaking and stuttering under him.
‘yes, there you go, there it is. fuck’ he pulls out his cock halfway, reeling at the sight of your creamy white cum coating it ‘look at that. oh you’re such a good girl for creaming all over daddy’s dick’
you breathe a satisfied breath, feeling your cunt continue to clench involuntarily at his praise, his pace suddenly picking up.
‘squeeze around my dick just like that’ he grabs both your legs, holding them together by the ankle and turns your body so you’re laying on your side, your legs folded at your knees. your pussy is so tight in this position, and your ass looks extra fat. ‘fucking hot’ he praises, moaning as you squeeze so tight around him, over and over. he knows he’s about to blow.
‘cum on my ass, daddy’ it’s tradition at this point. seungcheol pulls out, perfectly positioning himself over your ass and frantically jerks off, the squelch of his strokes filling the room. he grabs a handful in his other hand, squeezing hard. ouch. that’s going to leave a mark.
‘cum for me’ you sing seductively, his breath catching in his throat. ‘cover me in your cum, daddy. i’m all yours to cum on. i’m only yours’ you remind, and that pushes him right over the edge as he cums with a loud long grunt, shooting his thick, warm, milky load all over your cheeks. and god, there’s so so much of it.
‘holy shit. how long have you been storing that?’ you scoop some up with your fingers, giving it a taste ‘mmm, yum’
honestly, seungcheol’s a little surprised by his load too, shaking his head and laughing softly as you review his cum. ‘wait, let me just get the, where is that thing?’
he picks up his crumpled overshirt, a balenciaga shirt mind you, off the floor and cleans the cum off you, then wipes his own dick down.
‘i can’t believe you still do that’
‘do what?’
‘use your expensive ass clothes to wipe cum like they’re disposable tissues or something’
he shrugs ‘they may as well be for me’
you roll your eyes at that, starting to remember reasons as to why he’s your ex again.
‘oh, by the way’ seungcheol rolls up the cum rag shirt before chucking it back onto the floor.
‘were you seriously trying to bring up an article on how to break up while i was sucking on your tits?’
you chuckle cutely ‘yeah, i was actually. but fuck that article, right?’
‘yeah’ he nods, pouting in agreement ‘fuck that article’ he breaks into a huge smile, looking at you fondly as you both crack up, and finds himself asking the question he always does after one these nights — why did you both break up again?
#scoups smut#seungcheol smut#seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#scoups#choi seungcheol#scoups drabble#seungcheol drabble#scoups fanfic#seungcheol fanfic
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Cliff notes on the new info on Dragon Age: The Veilguard in today’s issue of Game Informer (magazine hub link):
Edit/update: I tidied up this post. ^^
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In CC you can customize things like shoulder width, chest size, glute size, hip width, how bloodshot your eyes are, nose crookedness, and more
There are hundreds of sliders for body proportions
CC detail: “Features like skin hue, tone, melanin”
There is nudity in DA:TV, “which I learned firsthand while customizing my Rook” in CC
Rook’s backstory also affects “reputation standing”, along with the other previously-known things like in-game dialogue etc
Lords of Fortune are pirate-themed, “piratic”
Rook ascends because of competency, not because of a magical McGuffin, contrasting with the 'destiny-has-chosen you’ angle DA:I has for the Inquisitor
Rook is here because they chose to be, “and that speaks to the kind of character that we’ve built. Someone needs to stop this, and Rook says, ‘I guess that’s me'”
The 4 voices we can choose for Rook each have a pitch shifter in CC
The game starts inside the bar (as previously detailed in other coverage)
In some dialogue wheels there is a “romantically inclined ‘emotional’ response” option. These are the replies that will build relationships with characters, romantic and platonic alike, but you can ignore them if you want to. Giving a companion the cold shoulder might nudge them into another companion’s embrace however
Bellara’s surname is Lutara
In the streets of Minrathous (in the opening segment of the game), there is a wide, winding pathway with a pub which has a dozen NPCs in it (is this The Swan tavern?)
The devs used the DA:TV CC to make each in-world NPC, except for specific characters like companions
There is smart use of verticality, scaling and wayfinding in the gameplay
If you play as e.g. a qunari Rook, the camera adjusts to ensure larger characters like them loom over those below. The camera also adjusts appropriately for dwarves to demonstrate their smaller stature
Neve Gallus is described as being capable
The Venatori Cultists we fight in the opening segment of the game are seizing the chaos caused by the demons unleashed by Solas’ ritual to try and take the opportunity to take over the city
As you traverse deeper and deeper into Solas’ hideout, more of his murals appear on the walls, and things 'get more elven'. Rhodes says “this is because you’re symbolically going back in time, as Minrathous is a city built by mages on the bones of what was originally the home of the elves”
At the heart of Solas’ hideout is his personal eluvian
Demons are fully redesigned in this game, on their original premise as creatures of feeling that live and die off the emotions around them. “As such, they are just a floating nervous system, pushed into this world from the Fade, rapidly assembled into bodies out of whatever scraps they find”
In the opening, we stop Solas’ ritual and save the world. “For now” anyways. Rook passes out moments later and wakes up in a dream-like landscape to the voice of Solas. He explains that a few drops of Rook’s blood interacted with the ritual, connecting them to the Fade forever. (I guess this is why they said in the Discord Q&A on June 14th that Rook has good reasons to want to avoid blood magic)
He also says that he was attempting to move Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain (confirming who the two Evil Gods are) to a new prison, because the one he had previously constructed was failing. Unfortunately, Solas is trapped in the Fade by our doing, and the two gods are now free. “It’s up to Rook to stop them”, thus setting the stage for our adventure
Rook wakes up after this with Harding and Neve “in the lair of the Dread Wolf himself”, a special magical realm in the Fade called The Lighthouse. It’s a towering structure centered amongst various floating islands. This is where the team bonds, grows, and prepares for its adventures. It becomes more functional and homier as you do. “Already, though, it’s a beautifully distraught headquarters for the Veilguard, although they aren’t quite referring to themselves as that just yet”.
Because it was Solas’ home base, it's gaudy, with his fresco murals adorning various walls, greenery hanging from above, and hues of purple and touches of gold everywhere. Since it’s in the Fade, which is a realm of dreams that responds to your world state and emotion, the Lighthouse “reflects the chaos and disrepair of the Thedas you were in moments ago”
Clock symbols over dialogue icons signal optional dialogue options
At this point you can head over to Neve, engage in dialogue, and try and flirt with her
There is a dining hall in the Lighthouse. A plate, cutlery and a drinking chalice are at the end of a massive table. Matt Rhodes says that this is a funny and sad look at Solas’ isolated existence, and an example of the detail BioWare’s art team has put into DA:TV. “It’s like when you go to a friend’s house and see their bedroom for the first time; you get to learn more about them”
There is also a library, which is the central area of the The Lighthouse. It’s here that the party will often regroup and prepare for what’s next
The team decides that it must reach the ritual site back in Arlathan Forest. Corinne Busche said that the writer was "missing unique dialogue options here because I’m qunari; an elf would have more to say about the Fade due to their connection to it. The same goes for my backstory earlier in Minrathous. If I had picked the Shadow Dragons background, Neve would have recognized me immediately, with unique dialogue”
The team decide their next move. They go to Solas’ eluvian and back through to the ritual site in Arlathan Forest. However, it’s not fully functional without Solas, and while it returns them to the Forest, it’s not exactly where they want to go. Then a demon-infested suit of mechanized armor known as a Sentinel attacks them, and two NPCs appear to save you: the Veil Jumpers Strife and Irelin. Harding recognizes them, which you would expect if you read the comic Dragon Age: The Missing. They are experts in ancient elven magic. A cutscene ensues and we learn that Strife and Irelin need help finding Bellara Lutara. This cutscene is long and has multiple dialogue options.
“There’s a heavy emphasis on storytelling and dialogue, and it feels deep and meaty, like a good fantasy novel. BioWare doesn’t shy away from minutes-long cutscenes”
For Rook, this story is about what does it mean to be a leader? We define their leadership style with our choices. “From the sound of it, my team will react to my chosen leadership style in how my relationships play out.” This is demonstrated within the game’s dialogue and a special relationship meter on each character’s companion screen
Bellara is deep within Arlathan Forest, and following the events of the prologue, something is up here. Three rings of massive rocks fly through the air, protecting what appears to be a central fortress. Demon Sentinels plague the surrounding lands.
In gameplay/combat, players complete every swing in real time. Special care was taken in development for animation swing-through and cancelling. We can dash, parry, charge moves, and a completely revamped healing system that allows us to use potions at our discretion by hitting right on the d-pad. You can combo attacks and even ‘bookmark’ combos with a quick dash, which means that you can pause a combo’s status with a dash to safety and continue the rest of the combo afterward
Abilities can be used to customize your kit. They can be used on the fly as long as you account for cooldowns
When you pause and pull up the ability Wheel, it highlights you and your companions’ skills. There you can choose abilities, queue them, target specific enemies, and strategize with synergies and combos
Each character plays the same in that you execute light and heavy attacks with the same buttons, use abilities with the same buttons, and interact with the combo wheel in the same way, regardless of which class you select
Sword and shield warriors can hip-fire or aim their shield and throw it like Captain America
Warriors can parry incoming attacks which can stagger enemies. Rogues have a larger parry window. The mage the writer played couldn’t parry at all. Instead they throw up a shield that blocks incoming attacks automatically, so long as you have the mana to maintain it
On the start/pause screen: it has the map, journal, character sheets, skill tree, and a library for lore information. You can use it to cross-compare equipment and equip new gear for Rook and their companions, build weapon loadouts for quick change-ups mid-combat, and customize you and your party’s abilities and builds via an easy-to-understand skill tree. There aren’t in-depth minutiae, just "real numbers". For example, an unlocked trait might increase damage by 25 percent against armor, but that’s as in-depth as the numbers get. Passive abilities unlock jump attacks and guarantee critical hit opportunities, while abilities add moves like a Wall of Fire to your arsenal if you’re a mage. As you spec out this skill tree, which is 100 percent bespoke to each class, you’ll work closer to unlocking a spec, complete with a unique ultimate ability
“Sentinels and legions of darkspawn”
Combat is flashy and quick, with different types of health bars. Greenish-blue represents a barrier, which is taken down most effectively with ranged attacks
The game is gorgeous, with sprinkles, droplets, and splashes of magic in each attack a mage unleashes
The game looks amazing on consoles both in fidelity and performance modes
The mission to find Bellara is called “In Entropy’s Grasp”. You find her. She is the first companion you recruit (as Neve auto-joins). If your background is Veil Jumper, you get unique dialogue here with Bellara. She explains that everyone there is all trapped in a Veil Bubble, and there’s no way out once you pass through it. Despite the dire situation, she is bubbly, witty, and charming. She is spunky and effervescent
Companions are the faces of their factions, and in this case with Bellara, their entire area of the world. She is our window into Arlathan Forest. She is described as a sweetheart and a nerd for ancient elven artifacts, which is why she’s dressed more like an academic than a combatant. Her special arm gauntlet is useful both for tinkering with her environment and taking down enemies. While Neve uses ice magic and can slow time with a special ability, Bellara specializes in electricity, and she can also use magic to heal you. Her electric magic is effective against Sentinels. “However, without Bellara, we could also equip a rune that converts my ice magic, for a brief duration, into electricity to counter the Sentinels”
If you don’t direct your companions in combat, they are fully independent and will attack on their own
You progress at this point through the Forest, encountering more and more darkspawn. Bellara says that they have never been this far before because the underground Deep Roads, which they usually escape from, aren’t nearby. However, with “blighted” (BLIGHTED!) elven gods roaming the world, and thanks to the Blight’s radiation-like spread, it’s a much bigger threat in DA:TV than any prior DA game
The Forest has elven ruins, dense greenery and disgusting Blight tentacles and pustules
The style of the game is more high fantasy than anything in the series thus far and almost reminiscent of the whimsy of Fable. Matt Rhodes says that this is the result of the game’s newfound dose of magic: “The use of magic has been an evolution as the series has gone on. It’s something we’ve been planning for a while because Solas has been planning all this for a while. In the past, you could hint at cooler magical things in the corner because you couldn’t actually go there, but now we actually can, and it’s fun to showcase that.” The Forest’s whimsy will starkly contrast to the game’s other areas. The devs promise some grim locations and even grimmer story moments because, without that contrast, everything falls flat. Corinne says it’s like a “thread of optimism” pulled through otherworldly chaos ravaging Thedas. At this point in the game, Bellara’s personality is that thread
We can advance our bonds with our companions on their own personal quests and by including them in our party on main quests. Every Relationship Level you rank up, shown on their character sheet, nets you a skill point to spend on them. “The choices you make, what you say to companions, how you help them, and more all matter to their development as characters and party members”. Each companion has access to 5 abilities.
Each companion has issues, problems, and personal quests to complete. “Bellara has her own story arc that runs parallel to and informs the story path you’re on” (They’ve said that all of the companions have this too in previous promo material)
You progress deeper into the forest and Bellara spots a floating fortress and thinks that the artifact needed to destroy the Veil Bubble is in there. To reach it, we must remove the floating rock rings, and Bellara’s unique ability, Tinker, can do just that by interacting with a piece of ancient elven technology nearby. Rook can acquire abilities like Tinker later to complete such tasks in instances where Bellara, for example, isn’t in the party
Bellara has to activate three of these in the Forest to reach the castle. Each one you activate brings forth a bunch of Sentinels, demons, and darkspawn to defeat
You can create Arcane Bombs on enemies. It does high damage after being hit by a heavy attack
It sounds like mage characters can charge heavy attacks on their magical staffs. “then switch to magical daggers in a second loadout accessed with a quick tap of down on the d-pad to unleash some quick attacks”
Some enemies are “Frenzied”, meaning that they hit harder, move faster, and have more health
After a few more combat sections, including against a Frenzied sentinel, we reach the center of the temple. In there is an artifact called the Nadas Dirthalen. Bellara knows that this means “the inevitability of knowledge”. Before we can progress, a darkspawn ogre boss attacks, hitting hard with unblockable, red-coded attacks and a massive shield that you need to take down first. It is weak to fire
After defeating it (it’s a climactic arena fight), Bellara uses a special crystal to power the artifact and remove it from the pedestal, which destroys the Veil Bubble. Then, the Nadas Dirthalen comes alive as an Archive Spirit, but because the crystal used to power it breaks, we learn little about this spirit before it disappears. Bellara thinks that she can fix it (fixing broken stuff is her thing), so the group heads back to the Veil Jumper camp. The writer’s demo then ended.
The design of the game is not open world. The devs describe it as a “hub-and-spoke” design where the needs of the story are served by the level design. A version of DA:I’s Crossroads return (the network of teleporting eluvians) and this is how players will traverse across northern Thedas. “Instead of a connected open world, players will travel from eluvian to eluvian to different stretches of this part of the continent”. e.g. Minrathous, tropical beaches, Arlathan Forest, “to grim and gothic areas and elsewhere”. Some of these areas are large and full of secrets and treasures. Others are smaller and more focused on linear storytelling. Arlathan Forest is an example of this, but it still has optional paths and offshoots to explore for loot, healing potion refreshes, and other things.
Each location has a minimap, though linear levels like In Entropy’s Grasp won’t have the 'fog of war' that disappears as you explore like in some of the game’s bigger locations
The game has the largest number of diverse biomes in DA history
The Thedas of DA:TV “lives in the uncertainty”. “the mystery of its narrative”, “the implications of its lore”
The writer is surprised by BioWare’s command over the notoriously difficult Frostbite engine, and by how much narrative thought the dev team poured into these characters, even for BioWare.
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[source: the Game Informer pages from Issue 367 - the cover story from June 18th (link), two]
#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost#solas#feels#strife#blood cw#gonna tidy and typo check these notes in a moment#edit/update: i've tidied up this post now#dragon age: the missing#dragon age: the missing spoilers
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price tag
Lando Norris x reader
warnings: none!
summary: Lando buys you an expensive gift, but you struggle to let him spoil you.
word count: 1.5k
You were going to the FIA awards and Lando was set to win. You were beyond proud of him. You had given Lando a gift before you left Monaco. It was a painting of him kissing his trophy after his first win. You had it commissioned from an artist you found on instagram and framed it for him. It wasn’t much, but it was the best you could do. You, unfortunately, didn’t have a job that paid you millions.
You just finished getting ready for the evening when Lando walked up behind you. He wrapped his arms around your waist while you looked yourself over in the mirror. Your hands went to cover his, holding them in place. Lando leaned down and pressed a kiss to your jaw before he spoke in the soft tone he reserved for you.
“Come sit with me. I have a present for you.”
“A present for me?” You asked. “Lan, this is your night.”
“Yeah, and I like to do things for you,” he replied. You chuckled and followed him out to the couch where a velvet box was sitting on the coffee table. The hotel room was big. They always were when you stayed with Lando. He got the penthouses and suites. There were usually more beds than you needed, but Lando didn’t care. He always wanted to provide you with the best.
You sat down on the couch. Lando picked up the velvet box and held it out to you. He was looking at you with a bright smile across his face. You glanced up at him with panic rising in your chest. The size and velvet on the box alone told you its contents weren’t cheap.
“Open it,” he requested. You took the box from him. It was heavy. He grinned as you opened it. When you lifted the lid you revealed a necklace. The whole chain was covered in diamonds and three large sapphires were hanging off the diamond chain. You gasped.
“You like it?” He asked. You were staring down at it with your mouth hanging open. You looked up at him with wide eyes.
“Lando, I can’t take this,” you told him.
“I want you to have it,” he responded.
“It’s too much.”
“It’s not,” he started to assure you.
“Lan, look at this,” you said and gestured to the necklace. “It must have cost a fortune.”
“It doesn’t matter what it cost,” Lando said simply. He knew you struggled to let him spoil you the way he was able to. He never really understood it. He did his best to keep things modest for you most of the time. He knew it was what you preferred. He couldn’t help it this time though. He’d walked into the jewelry store to daydream about the engagement rings he could get for you, but when he saw the necklace behind the counter he couldn’t leave it behind.
“Lando…” You whispered. “This is—” You started to protest. Lando sat down beside you.
“It’s not too much, and you can take it, love,” Lando said. “Please. Wear it tonight,” he practically begged. A tear fell from your eye. He noticed and quickly wiped it away with his thumb. “Baby?” He called to you softly. “What’s this about?”
“Lando, you can’t give this to me,” you told him.
“Why?” He asked. “You know I’m good with my money. I wouldn’t have done this if it wasn’t reasonable,” he said.
“Reasonable?” You chuckled. “This has to cost more than some houses.”
“It doesn’t matter how much it was, love. And I’m not going to return it.”
“I feel bad, Lan,” you started to protest.
“You don’t need to feel bad when I spend money on you, baby,” he told you. “It’s not the same for me.”
“That’s exactly the problem, Lan!” You told him. “You buy me all these beautiful things. You take me all around the world and pay for everything and I—” You paused. “I can’t do anything like that for you.” Lando was quiet for a moment.
“That’s what it’s been about this whole time?” He asked.
“Lando, I barely have anything. The only reason I can get you any decent gifts is because you pay for everything else”
“I’ve loved everything you’ve ever given me,” he assured you. “I don’t care how much the things you buy me cost you, and you shouldn’t care how much the things I buy you cost me,” he said.
“That’s not fair, Lan,” you tried. “It’s not the same.”
“Baby, you are the only person I’ve ever dated that doesn’t want me to buy them expensive things,” Lando said. “And it’s nice. It made me feel good the first few times because I knew you weren’t with me for my money.” He took your hand. “But we’ve been together for years now,” he said. “I want to give you things like this.”
“I just feel bad that I can’t do things like this for you,” you said. Lando put the necklace on the coffee table. He pulled at your hands and made you look him in the eye.
“Don’t feel bad. I’m with you because I love you,” he said. “Not because of anything you’ll ever buy me.” You started to open your mouth to protest. “And,” he continued. “You’ve given me better gifts than anyone ever has,” he said.
“Lan, you used to date that millionaire supermodel,” you said.
“Yeah, and she just bought me a Rolex whenever she got me something.”
“Just a Rolex,” you said. “One is more than everything I’ve ever given you.”
“I don’t care. That painting was beautiful. I’d rather have that than a Rolex any day,” he said. “How is that a bad gift?”
“It barely cost $100,” you said forlornly.
“I’ll see it everyday and it’ll make me smile every time,” he said. “You’ll only be able to wear the necklace a few times a year.” Lando saw that you were still struggling with it. “Darling,” he called. “Look at me.” You met his eyes.
“Lando, I can’t,” you protested.
“You can,” he said. “You deserve it,” he said. He sighed when you didn’t respond. “I’m gonna tell you something, but you need to know it’s because I want you to take this.”
“What?” You asked quietly.
“I never bought anyone a gift half as nice as this,” he said. He saw the mortified expression beginning to spread over your face. “When I got them things they always wanted more from me,” he said. “Nothing I ever got them was enough, because they knew how much I have.” He pushed your hair behind your ear. “You have been terrified every time I spend any money on you. You try to pay for dinners. The people I dated before didn’t even pay for the gifts they bought me.” You screwed your eyebrows together, confused at the concept of buying someone a gift with their money. “You have put thought into everything you have ever given me. My parents barely even do that anymore,” he said.
“I just—I’ll never be able to get you anything even close to this,” you said.
“When we get married we’ll have one bank account. You won’t be able to tell anymore,” he said. You were quiet.
“When we get married?” You asked with a smile. Lando chuckled.
“I suppose I’ve still got to convince you into it.” It was quiet for a moment–a pleasant silence. “Take the necklace, please,” he begged. You looked into his eyes and saw just how bad he wanted you to do this.
“No more fancy gifts for a year,” you instructed him. Lando smiled softly. “Normal things. Things I could buy you.”
“If that’s what you want,” he answered.
“Cross your heart,” you ordered him. He chuckled before raising his hand and drawing an X over his heart.
“No more fancy gifts for a year,” Lando promised. “Now let me help you put it on.” He took the necklace from the box. You turned so that he could wrap the necklace around your neck, clasping it together. You turned back to face him once he’d gotten it locked. He smiled brightly. He nodded towards the mirror.
“Go take a look,” Lando told you. You went towards the mirror. You looked at yourself, gasping at the sight of something so grand around your neck. You raised your hand, gently running a finger over the center gem. Lando stepped up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “It looks pretty on you.”
“It looks pretty in the box,” you said with a laugh.
“You like it then?” He asked.
“Lando, anyone would like it,” you told him.
“You’re not just anyone,” he said.
“I like it,” you assured him. “It’s beautiful, Lan. Look at it.”
“It’s hard to look at it when I can look at you instead,” he flirted.
“Nobody else is going to have that problem,” you replied.
“I don’t think that’s true but it’s alright with me,” he said. “Don’t really want anyone looking at what’s mine anyway.”
divider @sweetmelodygraphics
#lando norris x reader#lando norris x gn!reader#lando norris fanfic#f1 x reader#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagine
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[tfp] obsessed!optimus prime x human!reader
summary: you cuddle, that's it :)
cw: fluff, comfort, pinch of angst, established relationship, silliness, extremely self-indulgent, the idea spawned in my head and i had to write it immediately
word count: 1200
an: for the anons and non-anons in my inbox: i see you and i appreciate every ask you sent me, some ideas are really lovely and cute and i will write drabbles about them. i just don't want to force myself to write 24/7 because i get burn out very easily, so it may take me some time to answer you all :DD
You can see it in his optics right away. Sadness, regret, exhaustion. He’s utterly drained, even if his frame doesn’t betray it. Always upright, with perfect posture, to set an example, to be a symbol for his people. But you’ve seen through that facade for a long time now.
He approaches you, a small human sitting on his berth with a book in your hands, wrapped in a blanket. And even despite the exhaustion, despite the chaos undoubtedly storming in his processor, he smiles at you. It's faint, but tender, joyous just to be in your presence.
“Hey,” you greet him softly, returning his smile. “How did the mission go?”
“Greetings, my dearest. Unfortunately, it did not end in success.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you... want to talk about it?”
The smile fades, replaced by bitterness. The Prime returns, the leader is back. As much as he wanted to tell you everything, the wound was too fresh, too raw. He wasn’t ready to revisit those memories—not yet. He would rather think of you, only you. That was his plan for tonight, for the scraps of time you had left together. It was enough for you to just be by his side, to meet his gaze now and then, to smile. He wouldn’t ask for more; he wouldn’t dare.
“I sincerely apologize, but I do not feel comfortable discussing it at this moment. However, I shall divulge the details to you later.”
“All right, I totally understand. I don't want to push you into anything.”
“For that, I am deeply grateful.”
“But! Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you?”
“Your presence alone suffices for me.”
You weren’t entirely convinced. Optimus never asked for more. Never demanded, never took the lead. Sometimes he would request but never initiate. You wonder how you even ended up as a couple. How long he must have suppressed his feelings before you realized your own. But you quickly push those thoughts aside. They’re painful and, most importantly, they belong to the past.
“I don’t know... that feels like it’s not enough.” You know he’s about to protest, to launch into a monologue about how he doesn’t expect more from you, so you cut him off. “Wait. I know what you’re going to say, but this time, I want to actually help you. Have you ever... cuddled?"
His optics widen slightly. He wasn’t expecting that question, nor your assertiveness. But now, he’s profoundly grateful for it.
“I am familiar with the term, though I have never partaken in… cuddling. On Cybertron, other customs of expressing affection were prevalent.”
You’ll have to ask him about that later.
“I see. Would you like to cuddle now?”
Your question catches him off guard. He hesitates. If he says ‘yes,’ he’ll be stepping into completely uncharted territory, stripped of control over himself, entirely at your mercy. If he says ‘no,’ he’ll miss the experience of human affection, of tasting a relationship from your perspective, a human perspective. And it might hurt your feelings, which was the last thing he wanted.
“Yes,” he whispers.
Your wide smile is reward enough for him, though the best is yet to come.
You slide the blanket off one side of your body and pat the empty space beside you. The message is clear, and Optimus knows what to do. Fortunately, he still has enough energy to mass-displace, which he does in a matter of seconds, shrinking to a still-imposing three meters.
“Amazing,” you whisper.
He kneels on both knees to reduce the height difference even further. You’ll still have to climb onto his thighs to make the hug work, but you appreciate the effort. Now, it’s all in your hands.
Even in this position, he’s perfect—straight back, arms resting neatly by his sides. A few indecent ideas cross your mind; you know exactly how to take advantage of his submissiveness towards you. But those plans are for later. This is not the time to be lewd.
“If you feel uncomfortable, let me know right away,” you say, approaching him slowly.
You climb onto his thighs, watching his expression closely for any sign of discomfort, for anything he might not voice but would betray through body language. Luckily, you find nothing—not even when you’re face-to-face with him.
With your fingertips, you gently caress the metal where a human would have a cheek. You’re delicate, exploring uncharted territory. Stroking his cheek as a titan was one thing, but this form was new to you, just as it was to him. So you take your time, allowing him to adjust to the new circumstances, to this form of affection. Your hands move to the back, brushing against his audials until they encircle his entire helm. You shift slightly to the side to complete the embrace, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head against the side of his.
You don’t expect him to return the hug. This time, you expect nothing from him. This is an experiment, a trial. You just want him to stop thinking about everything that happened on the mission and start thinking about the here and now. To focus on you, on the skin-to-metal contact, on the fact that, for now, he doesn’t have to return to the battlefield. That he’s safe. So you’re surprised when you feel heavy hands on your back, enveloping you completely. But you don’t comment; you don’t say a word about it. You let him, because he deserves it.
His world narrows down to you. To your hair, tickling the back of his helm, to the warm skin pressing against his metal. To your softness, your breath, your heartbeat. To your scent, which he knows so well. You surround him from every angle, allowing him to forget the failure he suffered today. You fill his processor, already overloaded with thoughts of you, with even more admiration for your actions—for how you wanted to help him, even though he never asked you to. You are his universe, his galaxy, his sun around which he orbits. His alpha and omega, his beginning and his end.
This position and action are foreign to him, uncharted, incomparable to any other sensation. It wasn’t like holding you on his shoulder; it wasn’t like reminiscing about your smile. This was something new, far more intimate, and not yet fully understood by him. But it was beautiful and captivating. Raw.
“Everything will be all right,” you assure him, your voice resonating through his entire frame. “Everything is all right.” He believes you.
He can’t tell how long the two of you remain locked in each other’s embrace, but eventually, he feels you shifting. The last thing he wants to do now is let you go, still lost in your closeness, but he has no intention of holding you against your will. He releases you from his grasp, and you pull back from his chassis, leaving behind an unpleasant coldness. He wants you back there, pronto.
“Did you like it?” you ask with a smile, your thumb starting to stroke his cheek.
“Immensely,” he replies, looking into your eyes. A smile creeps onto his faceplate. “Might I request another cuddle?”
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How do they celebrate your birthday
Ruan Mei
In fact, Ruan Mei is not interested in holidays, at least you were able to convince her to celebrate New Year and even Valentine's Day, and you would not be offended if she did not remember your birthday, since the scientist had many more important things to do, but perhaps you didn’t know, Ruan Mei writes down all the important dates on pieces of paper, which then hang on her workplace (usually important meetings and your dates, since she tends to get lost in research).
And as soon as Ruan Mei sees that your birthday is approaching, she will set aside two days (one to prepare and the other to spend the day with you) in which she will try to forget about work. It was difficult the first time, but the longer you are together, the easier it is for her to put aside her work and put you first, which would have seemed impossible a few years ago.
Ruan Mei often listens to you, although from the outside it may seem that she is ignoring you, and she is very observant, so if your eyes suddenly stop at something, she will write it down and add it to the list of potential gifts.
She also loves to give handmade gifts, such as embroidery and a new plant. And what would we do without homemade cake? Ruan Mei will never buy cake from stores, she will find the best ingredients and put all her strength and care into a sweet miracle.
The first time she decided to surprise you was in the morning. And the sight of Ruan Mei with a damn festive pipe could really scare an unprepared person.
But you'd be lying if you said your heart didn't melt every time you woke up with May sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a piece of cake with a small candle.
You wake up from quiet rustling next to you, and the first thought that comes to mind is that your lover is getting ready for work, which is why you whine pitifully and try to reach her hand without opening your eyes.A soft laugh touches your ears and the space next to you drops a little.
Ruan Mei's hand gently touches your face, tucking unruly strands behind your ear. How she wished at that moment she had her phone with her to take a picture of this amazing sight..
"Wake up, honey."
You reluctantly open your eyes and blink a few times to regain your vision. Your eyes widen as she brings the cake almost to your face.
"What is this?"
You slowly get up from your lying position so as not to hit Ruan Mei.
"Isn't it obvious? Today is your birthday."
Ruan Mei smiles as he sees your shock turn to realization. She passes the fragrant piece into your hands and gets out of bed. You see a mug of freshly brewed tea on the nightstand.
"Take your time, enjoy every bite. We have the whole day ahead of us."
Veritas Ratio
Ratio has long considered any holidays a waste of time, especially birthdays. It seems to me that his parents practically did not celebrate their son’s birthday, calling it a meaningless and ridiculous event, and this attitude was passed on to Ratio. Either way, you caught him off guard when you came to his office to wish him a happy birthday. You were friends back then, and the pure joy on your face when you gave him a gift made something click in his head.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, he would not have been able to cope with his conscience if he had not returned the favor.
As much as Veritas did not want to admit it, over time he began to enjoy this holiday. Especially when it's your holiday. Ratio feels real pride when he sees how you rejoice at everything he has prepared for you, and this is not a little.
Veritas starts planning about two weeks before the birthday. He'll take a day off for the two of you, and even if you say it's not necessary, Ratio will just kiss you and tell you to enjoy the holiday. He's the type who wants everything to be perfect and has a list of places you can visit. Of course, he acts based on your preferences. However, if you want to spend the day at home, then you don’t need to hide it, just say or hint, and Ratio will immediately understand.
Only Ratio knows nothing about gifts. A classic gift would include an encyclopedia, a frying pan and flowers and things like that, but it's very good at serving you. For the whole day, Veritas is ready to fulfill all your wishes, do you want to go shopping? or go see that terrible movie you were talking about? Please, today he will not refuse, but the complaints will not stop, although there will be a little less of them.
Ratio doesn't like store-bought cakes, so he usually makes private orders. His attempts to make the cake himself do not end well. He is not at all friendly with baking, so he always baked only with you, and Veritas sincerely does not understand why your sponge cake is so soft and fluffy, while it is more reminiscent of a cast iron alloy.
And most importantly, this is one of the few days when he doesn’t get up at five o’clock in the morning to play sports and prepare for the new day. Instead, he just lays next to you, lovingly watching you press against his body.
You wake up to Veritas' hand playing with your tangled hair while his other hand is used as a pillow. Your cheek rests on his hard chest, covered by his pajamas, and you bury your nose deeper into his shirt, inhaling his scent.
Veritas’s hand flows from your hair first to the bare skin of your shoulder, after which it draws a path to your palm, which sends a shiver through your body. And in that moment, you were grateful that your nightie didn’t have sleeves.
Neither of you said a word, wanting to enjoy a moment of peace where no one would disturb you, especially your annoying colleagues (he made sure to turn off yours phones).
There were no smart thoughts or reflections in his head, and Ratio liked it, you made him understand that there are other joys in life, and he will definitely show his gratitude.
Ratio kissed the top of your head, inhaling the pleasant aroma of shampoo. You let out a hum of satisfaction and met Veritas' gaze. He watched as you, still sleepy, fought the urge to fall asleep again, but despite this, your lips parted to quietly greet the man.
"Good morning, Veri."
Your lover smiles at the nickname and squeezes your hand tighter.
"Good morning, my dear."
Aventurine
Aventurine hates celebrating his birthday, although he has begun to enjoy it with you, but he is looking forward to the day of your coming into this world with great impatience. In fact, he doesn’t even need notes and reminders, Aventurine never forgets things that are important to him, and the birthday of his beloved angel is not just an “ordinary day” as you try to convince a man when he starts to fuss. You can see him so excited only in very rare cases; Aventurine has to restrain himself so as not to shower you with love and gifts ahead of time.
The blonde, despite his bright and pretentious appearance, is not a big fan of parties, he will prefer to celebrate this day in your company and will be glad if you want this too.
Aventurine doesn't like to waste money on small things, he has enough money to, as he likes to say, buy an entire planet, so spending a couple of million won't affect his wallet. Fortunately, you managed to convince him not to spend money on unnecessary things, to put it mildly. He offered to buy you a chocolate fountain with the most serious face possible, and if Aventurine hadn't been so cute, he would have received more than a light blow to the back of the head. Although he will still try to convince you to go shopping to show you the place with the most beautiful outfits and even underwear.
But he always tries to create a gift with his own hands. Aventurine took knitting lessons because you told him how your friend's girlfriend knitted a scarf for him. He suffered for several weeks, but still knitted some semblance of a scarf (he usually knitted at work, and his employees constantly heard the roar and swearing outside the door). But he was so happy when you started wearing it!
One day he decided to create a statue of you for your birthday with his own hands, and, of course, Ratio was to be his teacher. Ratio had to avoid the impudent player for several weeks, who came to his classes and distracted him with his antics. In the end, they settled on a medium-sized statue, because Aventurine would not have been able to make a large one in a short time (and he also did not want to spend all the clay on a three-meter statue).
Aventurine is frankly bad in cooking, especially in baking. You have to watch his every move, because otherwise there will be nothing left of the kitchen. Therefore, Aventurine usually orders a cake from the best candy chefs in the galaxy, sometimes he chooses something unusual, but first of all, Aventurine chooses what you like.
But this does not mean that Aventurine will not surprise you with breakfast in bed. He'll get up as early as possible, careful not to wake you up or step on any cat creatures, and head to the kitchen. Aventurine loves it when you make breakfast together, but he is also a romantic.
You reluctantly open your eyes, squinting because of the bright rays of sunlight penetrating through the curtains. You wanted to raise your hand, a smile appeared on your face when you saw two cat-like creatures pressed against you, one of them laying on your hand, and it was a hopeless situation.
This cute picture quickly faded into the background when something fell in the kitchen with a terrible crash, making you and the two cats jump in surprise. Only now did you realize that your lover was not in bed.
Afraid that he would hurt himself, you gently threw the cats off your body and ran to the kitchen to find out what was going on.
A very funny picture appeared before your eyes: several pots were lying on the floor, broken eggs and puddles of milk decorated the tabletop and pajamas of Aventurine, who was standing near the stove with a cat in his hands. He laughed awkwardly and tried to cover up the horror that was happening on the table.
“Darling, why did you wake up so early?”
His failed attempt to distract you was met with silence and an incredulous look. After a minute, you pulled yourself together and ran towards him.
"Kakawasha, for the sake of the Eons, what happened here?"
Your hands gently touched his cheek, covered with some kind of dirt. The cat in his arms meowed contentedly and pressed himself against Aventurine, who simply shrugged.
“The blackie one wanted to play, and I couldn’t refuse him.”
You shook your head and gently hit Aventurine's forehead, making him wince in slight pain.
"You're such a troublesome guy."
“Hehe happy birthday, love.”
#hsr x reader#dr ratio x reader#aventurine x reader#honkai star rail x reader#female reader#honkai star rail#dr ratio#ruan mei#dr ratio fluff#aventurine fluff#Ruan Mei fluff#ruan mei x reader
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Hello! I love your writing, it's so cute! Here's an Idea bouncing around in my head: Reader is a shy and easily flustered individual who's developed a crush on Alastor. However they try to keep their distance as they know he's Aro/Ace and doesn't want to overstep boundaries. They go to Lucifer a (somewhat) expert on romance and feelings of longing to vent, also developing a crush on Lucifer- (Reader is a hopeless romantic lol)
Anyway, hope you have a nice day and remember to drink water!
𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 || {𝔞𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯, 𝔩𝔲𝔠𝔦𝔣𝔢𝔯}
tags: gn!sinner!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, love triangle, miscommunication, blood/injuries, mild nudity mention, divorced!Luci, I had to make it a bit comical, I made this too angsty for my own liking now I'm sad 😭, protective bois
This is a one shot. I won't be writing a part two. Thank you! :)
A dreamy sigh echoes from your lips, swirling down the empty hallway. You're sitting on your bed with your knees pulled to your chest with a clawed hand over your heart. Sometimes you miss the thrum of your heartbeat against your fingers. With all of the people occupying Hell, you didn't expect to feel quite this lonely.
You stare down at the pocket watch in your hands. Such a tiny device cost quite a fortune, but it was a true antique having been manufactured in the 1920s. Your intention was to give it to Alastor. Yet, you never did.
Despite everything in your being wanting you to give him the simple gift, a token of your love and your friendship, you just couldn't. You were already internally setting yourself up for a failure that may not even come. You weren't sure Alastor would ever be into someone, let alone you. So, allowing these thoughts to fester you withdrew yourself from him. Forcing smiles when around him and the others, faking laughter; all of which Alastor could see right through. Every time he tried to seek you out, to confront you, you were already engaged with someone else or another task for the hotel.
You were actively allowing your depression to swallow you whole all the whole not realizing that if you had only asked, Alastor's feelings are the same as yours. He just didn't know how to approach you and Rosie thought it best to let you come to him; yet you never did. Even Alastor was finding it a bit hard to keep that smile on his face. Why won't you just approach him? He...He can't do it. Please.
A dreary day in Hell with violent lightning and thunderclouds and acidic rain brought you into the company of Lucifer Morningstar himself. He could smell your sadness from miles away and like clockwork, he instantly pulls you under his wings.
"Now then, sweetling, what brings you to see the Big Boss Man Himself?" Lucifer grins, crossing his leg over his knee nursing an apple martini with an apple slice hanging off the sugar-dusted edge. He serves you whatever drink you may like, alcoholic or non-alcoholic.
"I'm in love with Alastor and I don't know what to do! I'm scared to get too close to him because I'm not even sure he's into me like that and I don't want to get hurt!" You sob, the words come pooling out of your mouth like a waterfall and so do the tears.
Lucifer visibly bristles at the mention of his rival, almost choking on his drink. With a snap of his fingers, his martini glass vanishes with a poof! His full attention now on you. Gently, he takes your hand in his gloved one.
Softly, he begins. "Getting hurt is unfortunately part of the risk of being in love. It lets you know what you feel is or was real. It's not the end of the world, not by a long shot. Everyone who we meet and who we love crosses our paths for a reason. To teach us something, either for a short chapter or they'll be lifelong companions. Even in the afterlife, there are still people worth risking the hurt for." Smiling wobbly, Lucifer embraces you close. "Take a few deep breaths. If this is truly how you feel, talk to him about it. We may be magic down here in Hell but not all of us are mind-readers, darlin'."
For the first time in a long while, you smile too. Embracing him again with a laugh.
Standing to leave, you turn to your friend. "May I see you again?"
Lucifer let out a tiny gasp, a slight pink hue coating his cheeks. "I'd like that a lot!" He jumps up. "I can show you how to paint rubber ducks!"
When you finally return from your outing, you're in a much more visibly happy mood. With eyebrows raised, Alastor watches from the shadows as you whistle a happy little tune and make your way up the stairs and veer to the left towards your bedroom. A familiar scent clings to your own, one that makes his lips curl back in a vicious snarl. Lucifer.
"Now darling, I think it's time that we have a talk--" Alastor materializes from the shadows, fully manifesting into your bedroom. You shriek in surprise.
Immediately, you snap. "Alastor, what the fuck! OUT."
Alastor, who has been turned away from you, spins to face you aghast that you'd speak to him in such a manner as you never have before, only to quickly cover his eyes. You were standing in the privacy of your bedroom, almost entirely naked except for those flimsy bottoms you called your underwear. Alastor swallows thickly at the sight of your bare skin, even when you wrap your blanket around your body. He feels lightheaded.
"My apologies, dearest. Ta-ta!" In a plume of smoke, Alastor fades out of the room. By the time he returns to his radio tower, he's gasping with his palm covering his face which was now nearly as red as his hair. He's ashamed he hadn't shown more decorum and instead witnessed you in such a state. Even when angry with him, you had never looked more alluring.
Lucifer swung by the hotel rather unexpectedly, surprising Charlie with a new plant for her bedroom and crushing Maggie into a huge hug! The place was really coming along, he had to admit. There was a more inviting atmosphere to the hotel now since it was rebuilt. It almost felt cozy.
"Dad, what brings you by?" Charlie smiles, carefully handing the plant over to Vaggie.
Lucifer smiles. "I'm here to pick up a friend for a little coffee date and I figured I'd say hi to my favorite daughter and my favorite soon-to-be daughter-in-law!" He coos, squishing Charlie's cheeks between his gloved hands.
On queue, you're walking down the stairs into the foyer. "Lucifer!" You beam, a large smile crossing your cheeks. His tummy flutters at the sight. The outfit you had on was darling, suiting you to a T.
A crackle of static explodes into the front lobby, the Radio Demon taking form between you and the Morningstars. Alastor's eyes immediately narrowing at the unwelcomed guest, at least in his mind.
Laughing nervously, Charlie wedges herself between her father and friend. The air rippled with electricity as the two stared the other down.
"Okay, you two, calm down. Let's not start anything, ok?" She glances at Vaggie for help who simply shrugs her shoulders; setting Charlie's new plant baby aside. Approaching slowly you stand by Lucifer's side. Placing a hand on the King's shoulder, Alastor nearly explodes with radio feedback. An eerie green glow consuming his form.
Static voice dripping with malice spits out, "You're going out with him." It wasn't a question.
Casting a look over your shoulder, you nod at Alastor. "We're going out for coffee."
The Radio Demon is practically seething with venomous rage--not at you, but at the puny little shortstack of a King who thinks he can meddle with those in his life. "You don't deserve their attention, Morningstar."
Lucifer balks. "You had your chance, pal! You snooze, you lose." Alastor's expression turns to one of confusion.
"What do you mean?" The radio filter is gone from his voice.
Snarling, Lucifer glowers at him. "They were in love with you! And now I'm here to pick up the pieces-- oh, fuck, you didn't tell him did you, sweetling?" His gaze is gentle as he regards you. You're begging for the ground to swallow you up.
Fighting back tears, you fidget on the spot. You're looking everywhere but at the two men who have held your heart captive. There was the love you held for Alastor, pure and genuine. How you got together like pieces of a puzzle. And then there was your love for Lucifer, intimate and loving. He was able to teach a part of you that you'd long forgotten. He helped you smile again.
Alastor shoves Lucifer out of the way, his clawed hands cupping your face. He wipes away those tiny tears with a gentleness no one in the hotel had seen. "Je t'aime tellement, mon cour."
Lucifer, now in his Full Demon form, shoves Alastor aside and grasps your arm. You let out a cry of pain, making the two males jump. With the appearance of his full form his claws had accidentally sunk too deep into your skin. Red leaked from the four deep gashes slashed across your skin, staining the sleeve of your lovely shirt. Your pretty eyes pooling with tears.
Like a true beast, Alastor explodes into his demonic form, arms outstretched to shield you behind him. Lucifer can only fixate on the blood dripping down your arm. Vaggie and Charlie are tugging you away while Husk prepares the First-Aid kit.
Lucifer is only able to stare at the tiny pool of blood you had left behind and the pain in his eyes. And then there was Alastor, ever the gentleman, always the one fighting for your honor, looking damn well ready to devour the entire fucking Earth for you.
And Lucifer felt he deserved whatever he had coming to him. His own words echo in his head: "Getting hurt is unfortunately part of the risk of being in love. It lets you know what you feel is or was real."
|| ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ʀᴇᴜꜱᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴇᴅɪᴛ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ɪɴ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴀʏ! ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪꜱꜱɪᴏɴ. ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ꜱɪᴛᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴘᴏꜱᴛ. ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜰᴜʟ ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ © ᴄʜᴇʀᴜʙꜰᴀᴇ 2024 ||
#hazbin hotel imagines#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin imagines#alastor x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#cherubfae 2024
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dies irae
alexia putellas x reader
part one, part two, part three
words: 12425 (sorry not sorry)
summary: part four, the part that made me realise another part was necessary
warnings: drugs, alcohol, cheating, (a lot of???) vomiting, general angst tbh
notes: in all honesty, i started this with the intention of finishing the series, but it hit 12k and i thought maybe not x
weird little comment, but the last section was originally written in spanish (hear me out: i was on the plane and i didn’t want the people beside me to read it over my shoulder) and i’m still feeling a little iffy about my translation of my og version but oh well!
i hope you enjoy this and are content w waiting another five years for me to churn out the new FINAL part
The sand is warm beneath your feet, each grain rubbing against your bare soles as you sprint. The ground under such surfaces often hardens, proven by the sweat trickling past the thin string of fabric that holds your bikini together. If the beach were not so private, you would be worried about wandering camera lenses.
However, there is no one else here but your favourite people. Well, maybe Nico has dropped to the bottom of the list now that your energy has been worn down while his does not seem to waver.
“I give up,” you pant as he continues to tumble down the shoreline, changing his tactics and swerving into the water, comfortable in his sea. The same sea he looks at each morning from your bedroom window. The one he learnt to swim in. (That and a variety of hotel pools.) “You win, you win!”
The small figure, around twenty metres away, comes to an abrupt halt, wobbling on little legs for a moment. Then he begins to run again, but this time towards the towels and constructed shade you had set up earlier. Unwillingly, you race him back to base camp.
“He ganado,” he declares as he taps Alexia’s shining back as though she is the signpost signifying the finish line. Your hand caresses the divots of muscle soon after, brushing sand across smooth, tanned skin. Nico peers at you strangely, but understands, thanks to Tia Alba, that the beach outfits are special to his mothers.
“Mi ganador,” comes a tired murmur of praise.
“Did you see, Mami? I was so far ahead.” She nods, craning her neck upwards to talk to him. You gladly sprawl out on the vacant towel, passing on the baton to your wife, fortunate that Elena has been asleep in her buggy for the past twenty minutes. “Can I play with Lela now? Is nap time over?”
“No, sweetheart, naptime has just begun.” He looks up at you with pleading, bored eyes. The one unfortunate consequence of going to a private beach is that, unless you bring along your babysitter, there is no one else for Nico to play with. Alexia and you are both exhausted, and today is supposed to be about relaxation. Three-year-olds don’t understand that concept. “If you don’t want to sleep, how about burying Mami?”
“In the sand?”
“Sí, in the sand.”
He leans close to your ear. “Mami says I’m not allowed to do that,” he whispers, though he has not quite mastered the volume of such a tone yet. Alexia pretends not to be listening, but you can feel her foot prodding your shin in protest.
“Rules are sometimes made to be broken,” you tell him. “And if you do bury her, the only way to make her happy again is to get ice-cream. Which means you can also get ice-cream.”
“You are so annoying,” grumbles Alexia.
“This morning, I believe the word you used was ‘sexy’,” you retort. With the Euros on the horizon, it seems that the two of you are using up what little time you have to spend together. Though Alexia sometimes feels like there are hands wrapped around her neck after she failed to win the Champions League once more, she is more than happy to take advantage of the time off before she tries to make amends internationally.
“Mm. You are magically both.”
You tug your sunglasses – Prada, brand-new from a modelling campaign – down slightly, so that they sit lower on your nose. The sun is warm and doing its best to wear Nico down as he finds his discarded spade and begins to dig, and Elena is still fast asleep.
A mischievous grin forms on your lips, one that Alexia knows well. Topless, she flips over onto her back, excusing herself with a muttered comment about an ‘even tan’, and that is invitation enough for you to cup her cheek, your touch as fiery as the surface of the sun that blankets the beach. The gentle breeze ruffles your hair as you lower yourself down to her level.
“The phrase is ‘annoyingly sexy’ in English, darling,” you murmur, your eyes locked onto hers. Even now, after six years, the proximity ignites desire over every inch of your skin, and you cannot wait to kiss. Alexia’s initial grumble turns into a soft chuckle, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of amusement and something more. Impatiently, you kiss her, aware that the moment will soon be ruined by a spray of sand as Nico pursues his mission.
She is just as eager to kiss you back, craving the way you seem to hold the solution to every problem. Part of Alexia’s mind has not yet been able to comprehend the way in which you love her. It is hidden by the other, much larger compartment: the one that reminds her every day that she should never, ever tell you, because it would break your heart. To you, Alexia is making up for lost time. To her, she is secretly begging for forgiveness that you don’t even know she is due.
She knows the minute your phone rings that everything is about to go wrong. No one is supposed to call you today; you have been emphatic about it. You blindly reach for the ringing device, ready to lob it into the ocean, but Alexia grabs your wrist. “It must be something important,” she says, and it feels like she is telling you she understands; you are busy, and she understands.
“I’ll be quick, I promise.” With a quick jog up the steps and onto the concrete of the promenade, you perch on the stone wall separating the beach from the carpark, bare feet swinging over the edge. The rough surface of the wall presses uncomfortably into the exposed flesh of your bum, but you remind yourself that you will soon be lying back down on the beach towels. “Hi? I thought we agreed that pretty much everything could wait until tomorrow. I don’t care about any photos taken of me, and you know that my automatic position is simply to ensure that the children’s faces are blurred out before they get spread around.”
“Y/n!” Your publicist sounds nervous. It’s a stressful job, you guess. Between organising interviews and brand deals and the like, she has to stamp down on unwanted rumours and be on the look-out for any perceived cracks in your very public person. Naturally, you are not perfect.
“Yeah, I’m here. Hi.”
“I’m afraid that it’s not a picture of you this time.” Alexia is now famous in her own right, as she always should have been. With a Ballon d’Or under her belt, you have been promoted to a ‘celebrity couple’.
“She has her own team, you know.”
“I’m sure she will be firing them soon.” The joke fails to land, instead crashing and burning and… You freeze.
“Why?”
“I am sure that you are aware we have feelers out for anything that could potentially harm your reputation.” You nod foolishly, caught up in the undisclosed severity of the phone call, forgetting that she cannot see you. “An hour ago, we were contacted by a photographer; one of the usual ones we get in when you’re in need of a bit of a press-boost. He’s based in Barcelona, has lots of friends in the area and such. I have the terrible job of telling you.”
Your heart quickens as the confession hangs in the air, leaving a heavy silence on the other end of the line. The anticipation builds, and you can almost feel the impending storm swirling just off the coast, waves beginning to thrash against rocks, nature beginning to tear the world down.
“He claims to have some photos, ones that could potentially damage your image,” she says, tone measured and professional. “I haven’t seen them yet, but he described them as… intimate, to say the least.”
“Of Alexia?” you question carefully, forcing the words onto your tongue. “Intimate? What do you mean?”
“Well, they are of her and someone else. Someone who isn’t you.”
“Who?” Dread sets in, and the wall is suddenly not the most uncomfortable thing about your position. You feel too exposed, unsafe in what you are wearing. Taken advantage of, perhaps.
Cheated.
“I have not seen the photos yet, babe. I don’t know what else to tell you.” He would have attached them in his email. Paparazzos don’t have time to harass you digitally as well as in real-life. She must have avoided opening them. Or. Or she is lying.
“I need to see those pictures,” you assert, your need for clarity driving the sentence forwards.
“Are you sure?” You nod again, unable to speak past the lump in your throat, knowing that she cannot see you but feeling helpless to do anything else. She takes your silence as confirmation. There is a brief click of a mouse, and the animated swoosh of an email. “They should come through in a moment.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you… alright?”
She quickly takes the hint from the lack of response and hangs up.
You rest your phone on your thigh as your arms grip onto the ledge of the wall, pulling yourself backwards so that you do not fling yourself off it. You shake as you reach safety, and your fingers feel numb as they tap the screen, accessing your emails robotically until a pinwheel is all that separates you from the photos.
Intimate, huh.
They are practically snogging.
There are eleven images, and each one delivers a blow more painful than the last.
The beach feels confined, like an elaborate cage that you cannot escape. The shoreline creeps towards you, and you seem to be pressed against the hot metal of the car in the carpark. You struggle to recognise the scenes captured as ones where you were present, and the unfortunate date in the bottom right-hand corner evidences the photos as a time when you were not in Barcelona at all: 2021.
The realisation hits hard and you find that everything you have ever believed to be true has simply been a cruel joke that you were excluded from.
What you have been sent is more than just proof; it is a betrayal etched in pixels, an undeniable record of a moment that shatters the foundation of your relationship. Your heart races as your scroll through the images, cruelly reminded of a reality you desperately wish were not true. One you had no idea existed. One that had been kept secret from you.
The lump in your throat grows, and your eyes blur with unshed tears. You are overwhelmed by sharp pain coursing through your veins, and it is as if you have been injected with a poison that burns through your cell tissue, disintegrating every block of your body. It scorches the things you know to be true.
Love goes up in flames before your eyes.
And then a voice that you really do not want to hear speaks, and, just like that, the ashes of what has disappeared are suddenly ablaze once more.
“Nico y yo vamos a tomar helado. ¿Quieres algo?” Sandals, sunglasses, a loose linen shirt. Nico holds her hand, proud of himself. You cannot bear to look at either of them, so you stare at the towels a few metres beneath you.
“Where is Lena?”
“Dormida, aún.”
Shaking, you stand up, enjoying the sharp rocks that pierce into your skin, reminding you that you are yet to die. “Take Nico. I’ll go back down and sit with her.”
“Vale. Te quiero.”
You don’t reply. You wouldn’t have known what to say anyway.
Every step feels as though the world is cracking open and you are going to fall to your death, yet, in the midst of the impending doom, you feel as calm as can be. Numb, perhaps.
Elena stirs as you adjust the parasol providing her the necessary shade. A hand reaches out, prepared to grab onto you, searching for your body like you are her lifeline. You are her lifeline; you are her mother. And so is Alexia.
A tear rolls down your cheek as you let her pull your fingers to her mouth, nails brushing her lips as she whines with the headache of waking up from a nap. “What are we going to do?”
…
The car journey home is silent on your part. You stew in your nothingness, unwilling to engage in the light conversation Alexia creates to keep Nico awake before his sleep schedule is ruined. Barcelona flashes past you, and the city that you once admired feels like the scene of a crime. Looking out the window is almost as sickening as if your eyes were to land on the woman beside you. Almost.
You withhold your grief for the evening, going through the motions of nightly chores; putting the kids to bed, finishing the remainder of your packing, drying the dishes without throwing them at the blonde hair that sails past as she sorts her own suitcases out. A few texts are exchanged between you and your publicist, in which you graciously decide that those pictures will not come from you. Though if her team fails to catch them before they reach Twitter, that is not your problem.
Under the soft glow of the bedside lamp and the comforting blanket of darkness, you clear your throat.
It has been six hours since you found out.
Every second that has passed has done so with excruciating pain, yet you cannot determine whether it has sunk in at all yet. You wonder if, given the chance, you would crumple into yourself and weep as though she has died.
When you look at Alexia, readying herself for bed, you decide that the whole situation is laughable.
You are so stupid. You thought she loved you more than that, and you were embarrassingly incorrect.
“I want you to leave now,” you say firmly, only the bed between you. Alexia pauses, pyjama shorts halfway up her muscular legs as she peers at you curiously. Her confusion is infuriating. “I want you to… go to your mother’s or something. You’re not sleeping here.”
“Why? What have I done?”
She speaks as though this is a normal argument, or as though you are hormonal and unreasonable. You clench your fists and remind yourself not to wake the children up. “I am surprised you didn’t follow her to Mexico.”
It is then that Alexia Putellas realises three things. The first: she hasn’t spoken about Jenni since she left for Pachuca, and she barely pays attention when Nico persuades her to find the stream for the striker’s matches. The second: it has been six months since Jenni called whatever they were doing quits. And the third… the third is how well and truly fucked she is.
She should have confessed her crime the minute she first slept with her; the night after they were knocked out of the World Cup. Elena wasn’t even a concept, then. You took her back though you were unaware you had ever lost her.
Last year, when it was Alexia all alone, she should have confessed her second betrayal. A longer, more hurtful betrayal. Something fuelled by meaningfulness, not passion and heightened adrenaline. If she were in your position, the physicality would not be what obliterated her heart; the emotion behind the entire affair would.
She wipes her eyes, aware that she has started to cry. It is all the confirmation you need. “I’m so sorry,” is the only thing she can think to say, but ‘sorry’ does not amount to the pain she knows she has caused. ‘Sorry’ won’t heal a wound that has cut deep, cut through years of love and happiness and supposed loyalty. ‘Sorry’ does not change the fact that Alexia lent herself to Jenni, let Jenni take her in any capacity she wished, and then returned to you as though it had never even happened.
In all honesty, part of Alexia is very curious about how you have found her out. Mapi would not risk being caught up in such a storm, and Jenni would gain only suffering from telling you because she knows that Alexia would never choose her. Though she has spent night after night with her finger hovering over her sister’s contact, she resolved never to tell Alba either, for fear that her sister would see her for the monster she is and side with you. Selfishly, Alexia does not want anyone to side with you, but even she finds it easy to hate herself.
“Is that all you can offer me?” you croak, and it is clear to Alexia that you are this calm because you are putting your children before yourself. They do not need to hear their parents’ marriage implode; not tonight, not ever. She cannot bear to meet your eyes as you pierce through her bowed head. “Alexia.” She pulls her shorts up fully, forehead parallel to the floor. “Alexia!” you snap.
“I’m sorry,” she repeats.
Alexia Putellas is regarded by most as intimidating, yet, here, she is anything but. She is meek. Pathetic.
She is a woman who continued to make a stupid mistake although she was given so many opportunities to fix it.
And, when Alexia finally grows the balls to look into your piercing eyes, she sees, reflected in your hardened, dark pupils, weakness and idiocy, rimmed with the most stinging of betrayals. It kills her to see you fight your own tears, and it is worse when you have to break eye contact because you are afraid you will vomit if it goes on any longer.
“You are packed, so you can leave tonight. Sort yourself out while I get the children up.”
Everything is ruined because of her.
It is the last night Alexia lives under the same roof as you. It is a horrible way to end a golden age, and the worst possible confirmation of the fleetingness of all things that exist. You hate the world, you hate Jennifer Hermoso, and you hate that you can’t bring yourself to hate your wife.
Alexia says goodbye to a sleepy Nico and a clingy Elena. Your daughter refuses to let her mother go the minute she is passed to her, and all four of you try your best not to cry, whether it be from confusion, regret, or heartbreak.
Nico, inquisitive as one is at his age, does not let the door open without questions. ‘Why now?’ is what causes Alexia to freeze, searching on your face for permission to have one more second with him. You cup the back of Elena’s head, fingers splaying out against her soft hair, soothing her back to sleep. And you nod.
She crouches to his level, dwarfed by her suitcases. In her pocket, her phone buzzes; her taxi has arrived. “¿Te acuerdas cuando te hablé sobre la responsabilidad? Soy la capitana, cariño, y tengo que cuidar a mi equipo, así que ‘ahora’ es lo mejor para ellas.” You are grateful for the lie.
“¿Ahora yo mando? ¿Como me dijiste?”
“Sí. Tienes que cuidar a Mama y Lela, y protegerlas como yo os protejo a vosotros. Y nos veremos prontito, petit. Te lo prometo.”
He is fighting his tears, stiff like a toy soldier marching off to an imaginary battle. You half expect Nico to salute with his chubby, unpractised fingers, but he simply stands there, between Alexia and you. Though Elena is safe in your arms, Nico is caught in the crossfire, two feet innocently leading him into no man’s land.
You take a deep breath as Alexia closes the door behind her. She has been driven out – her own doing – and she knows, because she knows you, that there will be no space in your life for her until your gaping wound dulls in pain. The journey to her mother’s house is the second time she ever considers killing herself, with the first being the night her father died.
But this is how it goes.
You fly to England the next day, holding it together until Elena and Nico are safely in the hands of Anya, but you do not give her a reason for her much-needed babysitting abilities.
It is a small secret. You keep it because on top of being in agony, you are so fucking embarrassed. You. You got cheated on. You weren’t enough for her. (And Jenni was?) It’s really easy to pretend you’re stressed for Alexia, knowing she is heading into a tournament that Spain could win but won’t.
The first official step you take – the very first – is with a nanny. You meet her the day after landing at London Stansted, and she seems to be the perfect choice for the interim period of your life that you have unexpectedly entered; she speaks Spanish, she is discreet, and she reassures you that she is there to enhance family life, not destroy it. And possibly another alluring factor: she is quick to sign an NDA and promise that no photos of your children will make it into any dogshit magazine.
Her first interaction with your children is two hours before your lunch with your publicist, manager, producer, and lawyer. They have agreed to congregate – they have seen the pictures (an exclusive peek, as the deliciously world-destroying surprise photoshoot has not yet been picked up by anyone with ganas to publish it). Each one has a purpose, each one wants to profit off your heartbreak, and, though they’d never admit it for fear of breaking their hard exteriors, each invitee would also like to see if you’re okay.
“Do you… like her?” you sheepishly ask your son while Isabela, the nanny, supervises Elena’s lunch. You’re not entirely sure your daughter understands that the hummus is supposed to go into her mouth, not redecorate the highchair table from white to beige, but Isabela does her best to instruct her, the familiar tinkle of Alexia’s language making your daughter’s eyes light up.
He looks a little puzzled. “Is she a babysitter?”
“Sort of.” You sigh, “it’s just that I have a lot to do, and Mami is playing football now. Isabela is going to help us, but I want to make sure that you want that.”
Nico shrugs. “Don’t care.”
“And she’s going to speak in Spanish, just like Mami does.” In anticipation of a worse reaction, you wince at the slight insinuation that you’re replacing Alexia. He doesn’t pick up on it.
“She sounds funny.”
“That’s because she’s from Colombia,” you answer him, and he nods, storing that information for later. Probably for when Alexia calls to speak to him (a moment you are dreading).
“Is Colombia near Mexico?” He perks up; you know what’s coming next. “Does Isabela know Jenni?”
You have to remind yourself that Nico has not done anything wrong. The fault of the mother is not the son’s, and, briefly, you pray he has inherited your fidelity for the sake of his future partners.
You pretend that the name that just fell from his lips does not fill you with the overwhelming urge to strangle someone. And, calmly, you reply, “probably not, but you can always ask her.”
…
Alexia does not know what to do.
She wishes, she really does, that someone would pass her a clock… and she knows she has trained and worked hard enough to wrestle the hands of time back a year and change her decisions in every situation. Alas, that is impossible.
She tells Mapi, as the team touches down in England, what has happened. The defender is unimpressed – angry, even, at her best friend – but nothing warrants what is to come.
The morning feels eerily normal. Breakfast is difficult, especially when all Alexia can think while she eats is that every morsel in her mouth fuels the monster she has become. Every bite, every sip of coffee, leads her to live another day. She is not particularly certain that she deserves that.
Mapi does not look at her, swerves her request to be partners when training begins. Head down, eyes slowly filling with tears, Alexia takes the punishment. She says nothing when Pina pinches her side, “Patri’s being annoying”, and drags her into the drill.
She runs, she passes the ball, Pina turns and shoots it into the mini-net.
Pina runs, she passes the ball, Alexia turns.
Something goes wrong.
Maybe it is that the pitch is uneven, cut up from whoever had trained before. Maybe it’s the pass, slightly off-target. Maybe she is at that point in her menstrual cycle where the risk of injury is higher – that’s being looked into, isn’t it?
Maybe it’s that her body can no longer stay so robust when everything else in her life is hurtling towards the ground in the most epic downhill slope possible.
Maybe.
The pop is unmistakable, and the pain searing. She can’t help the scream she lets out, barely registering whoever has rushed to her side while she presses her face into the dirt, tears watering the grass.
“I’ve done my ACL,” Alexia gasps, lifting her head up slightly. She catches sight of the blue sky, the green grass. The bright sun shining down on her, hot against her neck but nothing in comparison to the agony in her knee.
She blinks, thinking her eyes are blurring from her tears.
A second later, she is unconscious.
When Alexia wakes up, she is glad to have passed out. She has no memory of being hauled off the pitch or brought into the medical room. Her head aches and her knee throbs, but she knows that there is someone beside her so she does her best to hold in the immediate wave of sobs that seem to take over her.
A calloused hand reaches for hers, unclenching her fist, urging her to squeeze the pain away, pass off some of it to her companion. They have given her pain medication. She can tell because the white walls dance around her and the only word she can manage to get out is your name.
She whispers it over and over again.
“I know,” comes a soothing voice, poorly concealing the worry that cracks the tone. “Shh, I know, I know. You’re okay, Ale. She’s… she’s on her way.”
…
The call is unexpected.
Mapi never has much reason to talk to you on your own, unless you share a concern for your wife’s wellbeing. You suppose that’s a bit of a redundant commonality now. Your lawyers have drawn up a custody agreement and, upon meek request, divorce papers: a gift for after the Euros.
“Dime, Mapi. Estoy trabajando,” you say curtly, signalling from inside the booth that the phone call is nothing to worry about and you can resume the recording session in a moment.
Mapi’s news makes you even more resentful than you were already feeling, because you can’t help but sprint to your car the minute the address is given.
…
Pain becomes part of everyday life.
Crutches, too.
Alba and Eli already existed as frequent visitors, but the former increases her appearances so that she has moved in the day before Alexia’s surgery.
It spills out, the night of the surgery, that Alexia and you are no longer together. That you left her, with good reason. It’s a surprise, considering you had stayed by her side during the twelve hours in England between the medical room, the hospital, and the airport.
When Alexia reluctantly tells Alba why, Alba decides that you are a saint and her sister, a sinner. She holds her hands behind her back to keep herself from slapping Alexia across the face, but little does she know, Alexia longs for the anger, wishing she wasn’t being pitied for her injury. She wishes there was no injury to be pitied for, but, then again, she tells herself that she deserves it and accepts the agony as one would hold a blade to their wrists and slit them.
This behaviour, this quiet ideology that she has been punished for her mistake, is what leads Alba to ensure the keys to the balcony are hidden and the kitchen knives are tucked away in a cupboard, out of sight. Or perhaps it is what she hears her sister telling herself in the mirror. Worthless. Degenerate. Evil, cruel, horrible. Selfish!
She has two children with you, for God’s sake!
“I have ruined my own life.” Her words burn, the intensity of her anger enough to make Alba flinch, hands gripping the steering wheel harder, forcing her way forwards. The hospital comes into view and Alexia cries out in anguish. “I have ruined it, Alba! I have ruined everything!”
Alexia, The Ruiner.
She bears the new name with something more than disappointment. She lets the nurses examine her knee, compliment Alba for her care-taking, and reassure her about the surgery. She lets them talk her through possible complications, secretly hoping one will occur and she will wither away; no longer a footballer, no longer a mother, no longer your wife. Just Alexia, The Ruiner.
Alba and her argue, Alexia lying back in the cot, hospital gown patterned against clinically white sheets, light fabric against her paling skin. “You wanting to die is not you wanting to kill yourself. It’s your regret, and it’s your cowardice at not being able to face the consequences of your actions.” Alexia had been hot-headed enough to voice how she did not want to make it through the surgery. She is in excruciating pain, and is convinced they need to investigate it. “It’s your knee, not your heart. Your heart hurts because you cheated on her and she rightfully left you! Don’t you ever say something so fucking stupid again.”
“Alba!” Eli’s entrance is neither good nor bad. “Alba, leave her.” Alexia’s tears run down the sides of her face, hitting the sheets like little bullets. The soft caress of her mother’s hand across her cheek is no comfort, and Alexia only sobs harder. “You are going to be fine, mi cielo. The surgery is going to go well and you will come back even stronger.”
Alexia knows that, once you have torn your ACL, you are more likely to tear it again, so she mentally disputes her mother’s claim. She has no energy to voice the thought, however.
“Mamá, she’s convinced she’s going to have a heart attack.” Alba points to her sister’s chest, as if to disagree by showing their mother that nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. They begin to argue, and Alexia watches her family implode, deeming herself once more, Alexia, The Ruiner.
It’s not a heart attack, it turns out. She falls victim to a severe panic attack just as they begin to wheel her away. They increase her dosage of anaesthetic.
Unfortunately, the next morning Alexia comes to after a successful surgery and remembers nothing. That is until she looks to her bedside and finds only her mother there (Alba having gone to the big, empty apartment to adjust it to her sister’s newly-disabled lifestyle).
She relives the kisses Jenni used to press to her neck, the marks sucked into her skin though Jenni knew she was not hers to brand. She relives your expression when you told her you knew, the grimace you had worn, the way your eyes flicked to the ensuite as though you were going to throw up at any point.
She hears her knee pop again, sees the trophy slip from her grasp, sees it float into the realm of possibility along with the Champions League cup.
“You’re awake,” Eli says with surprise, offering a warm but sympathetic smile. She reaches out to touch Alexia, but Alexia jerks her body backwards, instantly regretting it when her knee begins to ache unbearably. “They said you’ll be in a lot of pain at first, but it will subside and, soon, you can start recovery. Your physiotherapist is going to visit in an hour or so, and I cannot count how many well-wishes you have received.” Weirdly, Eli thinks to herself, Jenni has said nothing.
Alexia shakes her head, trying to dispel the fog in her mind. “Do the… Do the children know I am hurt?”
“I believe so,” Eli replies with a nod. “Y/n broke the news to them, but we haven’t heard from her since you went into the operating theatre. I have no idea whether she’s going to come here. I assume she will.”
“She won’t,” mutters Alexia, refusing to look at her mother.
“Oh, don’t be so gloomy. She’s your wife, of course she is going to come.” A dark storm brews in the cagey hospital room, but Eli remains an oblivious ray of sunshine. “I know you don’t want Nico and Lela to see you like this, but they miss you. They must have been so excited for the Euros!”
All of it is the wrong thing to say. If Eli had known, she would have approached the uncertainty differently.
If Alexia were not so angry at herself, so guilty, so destructive, she would have calmly explained that your absence is both warranted and understandable.
Instead.
Well, instead, this comes out of her: “She is not going to come because I had a fucking affair and she has left me and taken the children to fucking England where they are probably never going to be allowed to see me ever, and I will live out the rest of my days as a fucking coach because I am useless and I am never going to play football again!”
Eli sits back in her chair, shocked.
“What have you done?”
Neither knows if it is a question or a damnation, but Alexia chooses to answer her mother regardless; “I have ruined everything, and now I am paying the price for it.”
…
Your friends gloat a little bit, calling it Karma. Anya and Gio are first in disbelief, but they soon progress onto the stage of hatred – something you have not yet been able to access.
For now, life feels as though it is on auto-pilot. Your children are happy and safe, your country is going to do well in the Euros, and time does not stop ticking no matter how hard you wish it would.
Alexia’s surgery is successful. You see the update on Twitter, not wanting to contact Alba or Eli in case Alexia thinks you have forgiven her. You haven’t. Perhaps you never will.
“There are two ways you can go about this,” Gio says with a smirk, holding out a thong to you as you stand in your bedroom in just a towel. “You’re hot and rich and famous… and now single, too.” You are not completely sure of that, but you nod, following along. You slip into the lace and then point to the England shirt folded on top of your pillow. It gets thrown at your face. “You can wallow in it and weep like a damsel in distress, giving her the satisfaction of breaking your heart…”
“I don’t think she wanted to–”
“She cheated on you,” Gio cuts you off bluntly. After a moment, your shoulders drop and you resign to hearing her plan. “As said earlier, hot, rich, famous… Babe, just get with someone else. Get with everyone else! Your babies are looked after 24/7 and this is London, my dear. The pond is really an ocean and you are a catch. As your bestest friend, I know what’s best for you. You’ve got an album coming out in September, a tour to hop on in November, and about three thousand dildos you can hop on after that!”
You cringe. “Don’t be crass.”
“Don’t be a prude.” She gestures to herself. “Look at me; Mia’s fine and healthy, doesn’t legally have to see her arsehole of a father, and I get a good shag every fortnight.”
“No, I’ve drawn up the custody agreement already. I’ll go back to Barcelona when the school year starts, and we can swap every two weekends. But I’m keeping our home – she can find somewhere else to live, seeing as all of this is her fault.”
“And the tour?” Gio asks as you pull on your England jersey and a pair of shorts. Good weather has blessed the start of the tournament, and you have been invited to the first match at Old Trafford by Manchester United themselves. Gio and Anya are coming, and you think they have put you in with a few of their players and executives. Your father has his own ticket, planning to meet you there and convince you to pay your grandmother a visit (she doesn’t like that you are lesbian and therefore you don’t like her).
“I don’t know,” you sigh, “because I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to make the children’s lives even more unstable. Maybe it’s best to give them a few months to adjust to the idea of us not being together.”
Gio hums in agreement, knowing she had it easy with her own co-parenting adjustment because her daughter was a baby with no recollection of her parents being a couple, much less in-love. “You’re a good mum.” She kisses your cheek and wraps you in a very needed hug. “You’ll get through this because you are stronger than a pathetic affair.”
You swear.
“What time’s our train leaving?!”
The match is a good one, and the atmosphere is enough to make you feel the slightest bit alive. Spain plays in two days, and though you have good reason to believe Alexia is going to be there, you are booking a family trip to Legoland to delay the first hand-off of many.
England win with one goal to nil, courtesy of Beth Mead’s chip. You are on your feet, cheering the entire match. One of the United executives tells you that he loves your passion and asks you if you’d take his ticket to the post-match drinks as he wants to head home for a nap. You laugh, the old Mancunian reminding you of your father, and accept. It’s just the one ticket, so you bid Gio and Anya goodbye, book a hotel for the night (comfortable with the idea that Isabela has safe hands to care for your children), and give your father a valid reason to pass up on the visit to Didsbury.
The only person at this event that you really know is Alessia Russo, after exchanging a few DMs last Christmas to wrangle a signed Manchester United jersey for Nico’s Christmas present (a gift Alexia had refused to say was from her as well).
“No kids today?” she asks with a grin, pulling you into a friendly hug.
“Didn’t manage to get them tickets,” you reply. “But now I get to drink, and you get to watch me and wish you weren’t on a nutrition plan.”
She shakes her head. “We’ve actually been instructed to celebrate the wins. Sarina Wiegman says it’s a key part of tournament success.” You look around the room, noticing every Lioness here, hair still wet from the showers and donning team-issued tracksuits, has a can of beer in their hands. Jorge Vilda could never. “Glad to see you haven’t yet become a Spain and Barcelona fan. Feeling patriotic enough to be introduced to our captain?”
Leah Williamson bears the same concentrated eyes gifted to Alexia; determination, victory, leadership.
You’re unsure if you have ever formally met her, perhaps at the Brits once. “I go with Alex? Alex Scott,” she says, as though she is trying to impress you. She takes the briefest of looks down to your hands that hang near your waist with no glass to hold (the bar has cut you off for half an hour).
You wear one ring. It is not the one with which Alexia promised you her total devotion, but it is from her all the same. An old gift – maybe from your first anniversary?
Leah doesn’t ask whether you are still married.
“I heard your son loves football?” He is obsessed with his mother, he wishes to follow her in every single thing she does. “You should bring him to our next match. I’ll get him one of those passes, and– Hey, you know what? I bet there’s a way I can get him a place as a mascot for one of the matches! Both our next ones are down south.”
You smile. “Really?”
“Yeah, course. He might be a bit young but I’m always glad to help out our little fans, and it might throw Spain off their game.” She winks, offering no further explanation, and is suddenly called away before you can request more information.
You have to admit, the idea of Nico walking (toddling) out with England makes you feel both proud and satisfied. It will be a tiny jab towards Alexia, which, honestly, is a privilege considering how she has stabbed you in the back repeatedly with a machete.
When your son’s first time on a proper football pitch is with Alessia Russo, holding her hand with wide eyes and a wider smile, you are sure Alexia has smashed the screen of whatever TV she has been studying her opponents with.
…
Spain playing England in the quarter-final feels intensely political within your family.
Alexia is in Brighton for the first time in her life, and she hates more than anything that she is not preparing herself for a match. She won’t be going through her pre-game rituals for another seven months, at least.
You tell Isabela to take the children to Alexia’s hotel, unable to put yourself in front of the wheel. Your hands have not stopped shaking since your manager texted you a screenshot of their conversation (seeing as you refuse to talk to her, not for pettiness but for fear of breaking yourself in two), and Isabela poured you a glass of wine before she left to calm your nerves.
You feel sick, and the toilet water turns red as your body rejects the rioja. Once you have wiped your mouth, you laugh at the notion that even Spanish wine is unwelcome inside of you.
“Who are you?” Alexia demands as the revolving doors of the lobby reveal her two babies with a stranger. She is quick to remove Elena from the arms of this new woman, although she is disgruntled by how comfortable her daughter seems. One of her crutches falls to the ground, Alexia not having been able to master childcare and post-surgery impairments because she has not seen the children she is supposed to care for, but she does not find it in herself to care.
“Hola, Sra. Putellas. Encantada.” Isabela holds out her hand but Alexia does not shake it, jaw clenched at the way you have gotten a Spanish-speaking nanny as though to completely erase her babies’ Catalan accents and memory of their other mother! “Me contrataron para ayudar a Y/n con los niños. Me dijeron que usted se encargaría de ellos hoy.”
“Sí, lo estoy haciendo, porque son MIS hijos.” She looks at Nico, who has been hiding shyly behind his nanny’s leg, afraid of his mother’s fierceness. Alexia softens, hoping to welcome him into her embrace, but her stupid knee won’t bend and she can’t get onto his level. Isabela reaches out to help her, or to at least steady her so that she doesn’t drop the squirming toddler she is holding, but the help is unwanted and, quite frankly, embarrassing.
Alexia’s frustration brings tears to her eyes.
She quickly blinks them back.
“¿Le gustaría que la ayudara, Sra. Putellas? Me han pagado por trabajar hoy, así que no es un proble–”
“¡No!” Alexia snaps. Silently, she curses how condescending and petty you have become. Paying the nanny in advance to taunt her for her injuries! “No. Estaré bien. Soy su madre.”
“Por supuesto, pero también está herida.” Isabela looks around the lobby for a moment. “¿Está sola?”
Alexia knows that Mapi’s parents are going to be arriving any minute now, kindly offering to help out with Nico and Elena. “Oh, we do not mind! We’d love for María to have children of her own,” they had said.
“Soy perfectamente capaz de manejarlo–”
“Isabela,” Isabela supplies.
“Isabela,” Alexia repeats. “Ahora, si ha terminado, vaya a disfrutar su día libre.”
She waits on the sofa just left of the door for Mapi’s parents, silently begging them to arrive as soon as possible. Nico is bored and would like to run around, upset that Alexia denies him his fun whenever he whines to play. Elena is tired, grumpily napping in Alexia’s lap, but that means she can’t position her knee the way the surgeons had asked her to. Isabela hadn’t meant to, but she had dumped two rucksacks of toys, snacks, and clothes onto Alexia, who still hasn’t been able to retrieve her crutch from the floor.
Close to tears and very overwhelmed, the arrival of the couple comes as a great relief. “Oh, you poor thing,” coos Mapi’s mother, a caring woman from whom her friend inherited the same quality. She kisses Alexia’s forehead and instantly takes the weight from her lap, hushing the soft whimpers Elena lets out. “Let us look after the babies. You make sure you have the tickets sorted. Have you taken your pain medication? Oh, let me take care of it for you.”
The fuss is something she has had to get used to, but she is thankful for the assistance. They wrestle Nico into his red Spain jersey, something he was not delivered in, and they ensure all three of their wards are comfortable before the stadium appears in the windshield of the taxi.
Alexia begins to get nervous.
Spain has more talent than England – always has – but they don’t have the same funding nor support. Their manager is a dickhead and the federation corrupt, and Alexia’s teammates suffer daily in a way no Lioness would be able to comprehend. She fears for their reputation, for their progression.
Her nerves increase when she sees you in the stands, in your own box of course. It seems that you see her too, but your only acknowledgement of her presence is the wave you give to your children. Alexia has to remind them sharply in Catalan that they are Spanish.
Afterwards, when Spain lost and Alexia is blaming herself for the defeat, you walk through the tunnel, following Leah’s directions that she had sent over text. You’d added her to your contacts yesterday, growing tired of Instagram DMs.
The odd thing about this area is that to your left, nothing is heard and the air hangs its head in shame, but to your right, a nation celebrates its victory. Sadly, you know you have to fetch your children from the Spain changing room before you say goodbye to the English heroines.
You knock on the door, politely. You have never been more glad that a player has not been selected for a squad. Jenni has missed the Euros due to injury, much like her partner-in-crime.
A solemn Ona Batlle, a Manchester United player who serves as a bridge between worlds in your household, opens the door, making no attempt to force a smile when she sees that it is you. You are (were) their captain’s wife; you are like family.
“Hi,” you breathe, not wanting to be the one to pierce through the silence.
Ona stands to one side and you pass.
Most of the girls are tearful, sniffling into their jerseys, heads in their hands, but no one is as distraught as Mapi. Her sobs take the fun out of winning, her devastation crushing and contagious and impossibly hard to ignore. She buries her face into Alexia’s shoulder, but it does nothing to muffle her cries.
You gulp, catching hazel eyes, understanding the plea to not make this feel worse.
You are heartbroken, and so is Mapi. For different reasons, yes, but both organs are shattered in the same way.
Alexia mutters something very quietly, secretly wishing Mapi does not let her go because this is the first time the defender has actually spoken to her since Alexia did what she did, but the blonde hair stops itching her face soon enough.
Rooted to the spot, you search the room for two smaller Spaniards, finding them both taking after Alexia, comforting the players.
“Nico, Lela, come on,” you croak, finding tears in your own eyes. “Say bye-bye to Mami.”
Their hugs and kisses are missed the moment Alexia leaves the country, and the absence of them makes Alexia crumble completely when she finds the letter from your lawyer that Alba has been hiding from her.
…
September rolls around with school, the start of your custody agreement, and the release of your new album.
Judgement Day.
For many, it confirms the split from your wife. Those pictures were never picked up by a magazine, so you have had them deleted with a baseless threat to sue for defamation.
Alexia no longer has to communicate with you through one of your employees, but any texts exchanged are few and far between. She tells you that she is renting a flat near the training centre. It has three bedrooms, but Nico and Elena share one because her mother is living with her while she recovers from her ACL. She also partially tore her meniscus, though she had hesitated to pass that news on, but everything seems to be in order and she is ahead of schedule.
You reluctantly text her whenever you leave the country, whether that is because you are flying to London for work (and to visit Leah, who you are now good friends with) or because a club opening has called and you have answered. It’s not as messy as the media makes it seem, but you agree with the articles that say you seem to drink as though it is what keeps you alive. The word ‘addict’ gets thrown around, but you are sitting in an armchair in front of your therapist before that escalates, if not for yourself then for the sake of your children.
They themselves do not understand. Nico frequently asks when Alexia will come home, though he has usually just visited her when this question pops out, and Elena throws big tantrums during the swaps. Those are done at a neutral location: the park near you. You hope the playground takes the edge off the palpable tension between you and Alexia as you sit on opposite sides of the same bench, exchanging brief updates about your shared duty until whoever is a mother for the next two weekends makes up an excuse to go.
Just before Christmas, once you have calculated that it’s technically Alexia’s turn with their children until January, you go on your biggest night-out since the days when all you were was a 2010s pop star in a girl-group. With no one to go home to and an empty house in Highgate awaiting your return, you get the closest to sleeping with someone else since before meeting Alexia. Her lips trail down your neck, the white powder on her nose rubbing onto your skin as she presses herself into you. You grope her body desperately, painfully dissatisfied by the bones and creamy skin your hands find. You are used to muscle, to strength, to power.
Not some anorexic model who calls you a MILF and hasn’t had a sober day in years.
In the end, you don’t end up sleeping with her, but it makes the headlines nonetheless. Your publicist lets them. “The world needs to see you move on, even if you aren’t,” she says. Your slight disagreement is not voiced, and social media explodes with further confirmation that you are single. A group of football fans are quick to attack you, calling you cruel for leaving Alexia when she is injured, but the thousand-person army doesn’t particularly bother you. You are doing your ex a favour by not opening up about the reason for the split, and you are both aware of that.
You spend Christmas with your parents, who are not pleased to have you moping about their house. Your father tells you that success is the best revenge. You tell him that your album has topped the charts in December, winning its battle against Christmas music.
“But that hasn’t mended a broken heart,” he is unkind enough to point out. “And neither will models, drugs, or alcohol.”
At this point in the day, you have made it through a bottle and a half of wine and a pack of Marlboro Golds. Voice hoarse from smoking and sobbing the entirety of Christmas Eve, you tell him to “fuck off” and call a taxi for yourself.
You don’t remember the destination you had typed in, but you end up at Leah Williamson’s house.
Leah is home, having returned from Milton Keynes half an hour ago, and is not really surprised by the state you are in. She supposes that she has gotten to know you well enough to realise that you are far from stable. This is the first time the English captain has seen you heartbroken, but she is unsure whether it will be the last.
…
Your tour commences the following month, with January being a fresh start to a new year. You tell Leah, who invites you out with her on NYE, that this year you won't be cheated on. It is not the comment that makes her laugh, but rather the way it slurs out of your mouth.
Barcelona feels suffocating when you arrive at the park to say goodbye to Nico and Elena. You’ll be in the States for the entire month and maybe some of February. Alexia is sure it will be fine, especially since the team has taken it upon themselves to look after the two children and help where they can. Additionally, Alexia is growing closer to one of her friends, Olga, who loves children and wanted to be a teacher before she decided on something much cooler.
Alexia has the courtesy to send Mapi and Ingrid in her place, knowing that you do not want to talk to her. You haven’t yet heard her explanation, but that does not matter. Nothing excuses what she did, and nothing will. (And with Jenni, who is no longer the godmother to Elena, the title being revoked instantly.)
“Will you miss us?” Nico asks as you kiss his soft hair, hugging him tightly. “Mami said that we have to swap every three findes so why no now?”
“Why not now?” you gently correct him. “Because I have to work. I’m going to sing in front of lots and lots of people and, maybe, write some new songs!” Your attempt to excite him crashes and burns, but you are not going to give up. “This is a secret so you can’t tell anyone, but some really, really special people want to make songs with me.”
“Who?” he pouts.
“Well, one of Mami’s favourites, Karol G. She is very nice, and she told me she has an idea for a collaboration.” Petty, yes, but also a career move. Nico’s innocence and lack of understanding about the meaning of separation means that he sees your plans as a very nice gift for Alexia. “And, let me think. Ooh, Bad Bunny – you know him, don’t you? I’m sure Pina or Patri or–”
He pulls away from your embrace, taking a step back. “Sí,” he says, sounding exactly like Alexia, “but to Mami, she no like because he says rude things.”
“Adults are allowed to say rude things,” you reply with a cheeky smile, winking at him. “Your mami says rude things all the time, but not in front of you.”
“Really?”
“Yep, but you’ll have to ask her about that.”
Alexia has hobbled through the nighttime routines, aided by Olga, who has halved the job by picking Elena and Nico up from nursery and school and watching them until Alexia’s day at the training ground had ended. Her and Olga haven’t kissed yet, but Alba has advised her sister to be quick about it if she ever intends to. Alexia is not sure she does want that, because your absence has only made how much she loves you (and how much she fucked up) even more obvious.
Their beds are on opposite sides of the room, which is technically the master bedroom – only fair, Alexia thinks, because they are having to share here but not when staying with you – and Elena is fast asleep by the time Nico is tired of the bedtime stories he has relentlessly requested. She brushes off the slight sting of his dismissal of her acting and helps him settle underneath the covers.
As usual, she presses a kiss to both cheeks and the tip of his nose, and tells him to have nice dreams and a good rest. The weekend starts tomorrow, which means he gets to join Alexia at the training centre and sit in on the sessions. Alexia is slightly jealous because she is still stuck in the gym, but as long as he is entertained, she will get over it.
“Mami, how long is a month?” asks Nico, voice small and groggy and… is that a hint of an accent? Maybe the two and a half months of Isabela’s Spanish has affected him. She will look into it.
He tugs on her jumper when she spaces out. “Sorry,” Alexia whispers. “A month is thirty days. Maybe you need to pay attention at school.” She pokes his cheek playfully, and he giggles.
“I do pay attention, I do. Thirty days is long.”
Alexia dreams of the football pitch, of the grass she has been promised she will play on before April. “It can be very long,” comes her agreement, picturing where in her recovery she will be come February. “It can also be very short.”
“I miss Mama.”
His statement, unbeknownst to him, is uncomfortably relatable.
“Thirty days will be very short. You’ll see her again soon, and, you know what? She made me promise to give you goodnight kisses from her every night! She is going to send them to me from America, and I’ll pass them onto you.”
“Really?”
“Sí,” says Alexia with pursed lips, raising her eyebrows to invite him to doubt her. He looks up at her with adoration, as if her word is law. She can only be thankful that you are merciful enough to have not turned her own children against her. You have expressed your wish to keep them from being collateral damage, and Alexia respects you for that.
“Mama said that she makes songs in LA with Karol G!”
Then again, there are other ways to be petty.
…
Touring has always exhausted you. Eat, sleep, travel, sing, in varying orders; the schedule grows repetitive and tight after the first week.
After the first show in LA, you bring a blurry face to your hotel room. You kiss her, you can’t bear to do anything more, and you let her sleep off her drugs in your bed while you take the sofa in your suite.
High on adrenaline half the time and utterly knocked-out when not, you zombie your way through the travelling, grouchily rehearsing new songs on the road, signing merchandise for your screaming fans. You get asked about your private life in a few interviews initially, but the journalists soon learn that the topic is to be avoided if they wish for you to talk to them at all.
The headlines continue to tear apart images captured of you at clubs, and magazines never seem to find the pictures of you with your children when you visit them while you make your way around Europe.
There comes a point where you look at a woman and she becomes, in the eyes of the media, your latest plaything.
Alexia is seething by the time your two-night show in Barcelona rolls around.
One day, when Nico and Elena understand the concepts of affairs and heartbreak, they will see the articles written about their mothers; the hate Alexia gets, the times she has been called a whore by fans of the same sport she devotes her life to, the stark inequality between her and her male counterparts. With these horrors of the world, they’ll see the pictures of you, pupils blown out, eyes red. Women clinging onto you that perhaps faintly resemble Alexia.
Because Alexia knows you, because she loves you, she can see that what has been labelled your ‘slay’ era is really fuelled by devastation. A disaster that she caused. It riddles her with guilt, but she doesn't know how to expel that emotion from her head without reverting to the early days of her loneliness where she ate nothing and made her sister seriously worry whether she was going to find her bleeding out in the bathtub one day. And so, with a lack of command over such a strong feeling, she decides to rage. She is furious with your irresponsibility.
“Where should we eat?” your guitarist asks with a grin as you touchdown in Barcelona. The soft murmur of Spanish and Catalan is unexpectedly comforting, the familiarity grounding. Maybe Barcelona has become your home. Maybe it never stopped being that, because home is where the heart is and, frustratingly, yours still belongs to the woman who tore it out of your chest and didn’t even have the guts to tell you about it.
“I can’t,” you reply quickly, wiping the sweat from travel off your brow with the sleeve of your turtleneck. “I promised my son I’d tuck him in while I’m in the country, and my daughter has been drawing at nursery so I’d like to collect some of the pictures and see if I can get them blown up onto canvases.”
Laughing, your crew make their way off the jet. “You know, most celebrities would pay thousands for abstract art but you get yours from a toddler.”
“She’s talented.” Mapi draws with her, you’ve been told. Elena is what makes Ingrid yearn for a ring to appear in their relationship sooner rather than later. “And take the piss all you want, but if you had had to put my kids through what I have, you’d feel the same.”
The sofa in the Putellas household (the apartment no longer inhabited by Eli, who was very glad to escape the intense atmosphere as soon as Alexia was cleared to live by herself) houses three unsettled humans of varying sizes. The biggest, Alexia, shifts on the soft, new cushions, awaiting your arrival with gulps of brewing tears and the latest set of paparazzi photos of you fresh in her mind. The boy, Nico, practically vibrates with excitement, promising himself that he will drag out this bedtime as long as possible to make up for all the others you have missed. The smallest is upset because she hasn’t fallen asleep yet, kept awake by her older brother who shakes her whenever she starts to drift off, hastily scolding her with a ‘no, Lela! Mama is coming home’.
With no key to this flat, you are forced to be buzzed up.
The anticipation builds. Nico and Alexia try to remember what you smell like, testing themselves to see if they can recall it scent for scent. Have you changed your shampoo? Alexia wonders, Do you still use the same moisturiser?
“Hi, my darlings!” you squeal as the door flies open and Nico comes hurtling into your crouched form, closely followed by his unsteady little sister. “Oh, how I’ve missed you!” You squeeze them as though you are never going to let go, and only release them from the hug when Elena begins to whine, adrenaline rush dying and tiredness overcoming her once more.
“Mama, home,” Nico says with an inaccurate finality. You spare Alexia a glance as he pulls you through the bare walls and grey decor until you reach a door with stickers up and down the white-washed wood. “Mami made me change, but you can read! Lela wants this one.” He rumages through the box of books near the children’s whiteboard (on it, the odd x’s and o’s of football tactics), pulling out a few to stack into his own pile before thrusting something you recognise very well.
“Mami reads to us in English sometimes,” he says matter-of-factly, though Alexia silently curses him from where she is standing in the doorway. “Important to know.”
You chuckle. “Mm, very important. How else would you talk to me?” Elena quietly crawls into your lap, happy to take over Nico’s bed, where you are sitting. You stroke her hair, holding her close. “Mami reads you ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’?”
He is too young to know what scepticism looks like.
“Es que hay ‘La Pequeña Oruga Glotona’.”
You refuse to look at the voice which speaks, but you nod.
“Alright, why don’t you get into bed, and then I’ll start to make my way through the mountain of books. I am absolutely all yours for tonight, my loves.”
…
Alexia’s hands slam down on the dining table, slapping against the wood with a loud bang. “Enough!” she exclaims, her voice slicing through the tense air like a knife. Her eyes blaze in fury and you shrivel, not quite sure what you have done to her. You grant her the silence she needs to continue, though her shout echoes through the shattered tranquillity like a bomb that continues to explode. “It is enough.”
“What, Alexia?”
You sound kind of… bored once you have regained your composure. Your shock is now replaced with a blank expression, and you run your eyes over your nails, examining your cuticles so that you don’t risk making eye contact with her.
“You think you can just waltz in here as if you haven’t offered yourself to the entire world and expect everything to be okay?” Her voice trembles with indignation, venom dripping from each word she spits out. “You can’t go from common slut to mother in one day!”
Nails forgotten, you square your shoulders and set your jaw. “I hadn’t realised you were the jealous type, Ale.” The nickname slips out like a poisonous dart, taunting her, wounding her. It rattles her, and you intend to shake her more. “It’s none of your business, not anymore. Deal with it – or don’t, I don’t care.”
“What kind of example are you setting for our children?” she continues, lips curling into a scornful sneer. “Kissing anything with a mouth! Like some, some hormonal teenager. And to have it all over the papers? It’s trashy! It’s embarrassing for me, because my wife has her hands down the pants of every woman she meets, pumped full of alcohol and drugs and… You, you go to these events, paid to get yourself on the front pages so that they can be mentioned in the location of the incident, and… and that’s like prostitution! Making money from your body, from sex!”
Her fists clench and she storms towards you, footsteps harsher than her bad knee can probably take, but you make no move to back down. You lift your chin up; “I don’t have to resort to prostitution for money. I have more than enough.”
“Then you do it for attention,” Alexia reasons with herself, albeit very loudly. “That is what you are, aren’t you? A slut for the cameras and the glitz and glamour of it all. So quick to jet off on tour, leaving me with our children–”
“I may be a ‘slut’ for attention, but at least I am not a whore for a woman who is not my fucking wife!” You press your hand to her chest roughly, pushing her away from you. “I’m not the one who had an affair, I’m not the one who ruined everything!”
Alexia recoils at your words, freeing herself from your searing touch before she melts. She forces her fury to its boiling point. “How dare you,” she seethes, voice cracking at the ferocity in which she forces the sentence out. “You think you can just throw my mistakes in my face?” You hold your ground. She will not intimidate you. “You think you’re so righteous, but you’re not as innocent as you pretend to be.”
It is a baseless accusation. You both know it.
“The only fact we have here is that you fucked Jenni. Our daughter’s godmother. Your ‘best friend’, my friend too! I trusted her, and I trusted you, and you took that trust and obliterated it by sleeping with her!”
Alexia wants to cut you deep, wants to give you the gory details of it all, but she hears the croak of your voice and knows you will not make it to your hotel if she tells you.
“I slept with Jenni, sure, but you have passed yourself around enough to make us even.”
“Nothing will make us ‘even’, Alexia,” you cry, meaning to sound scarier than you do. You can’t help the tears from streaming down your face, nor the hoarseness of your throat. “And I would never ever do to you what you did to me!”
You have to go on vocal rest the next day, otherwise the concert would be called off.
Alexia refuses to attend, even though most of her teammates will, instead pawning Nico and Elena off to your backstage staff and dangerously driving herself to Alba’s place.
It is one of those nights where Alba cannot leave her side for fear Alexia will choke herself to death on her tears. When the elder of the two can longer hold it all in, Alba ties her hair back with an old hair bobble so that the blonde strands don’t get in the way of her sister’s vomit.
("I don't want to live like this," Alexia says, her eyes wide and alert. Her little sister looks at her with empathy, searching, with a broken heart, for a version of a woman from the past she's not sure she knows. This Alexia is not the same.
"Of course you don’t." It's obvious. Obvious by the way she forces her existence without happiness, without company, without a smile. It's like there is no sun in Alexia's world, nor a blue sky, nor an end.
It never ends.
So, she says, "I don't want to live like this, without her, without the family I dream of every night, every waking moment. I don’t want to live, Alba. I didn’t want to live in August, and I haven’t since, and I… I do it because people rely on me." She takes in a deep, acidic breath, grimacing at the taste of bile on her tongue. “If it were just me, just Alexia”--The Ruiner, she silently adds–“I wouldn’t be here. Alba, Alba, I don’t want to live like this.”
She carries on repeating it because Alba has to understand. There can't be a possibility that Alba thinks her sister is insincere. What a lie that would be! To Alexia, she prefers death over continuing like this, with her head in the toilet and vomiting, vomiting, vomiting.
"If I had the chance, I would go back to August 2021 and never sleep with Jenni. I’d not let her kiss me, not give into it. I'm exhausted from it; from my loneliness, from the kids' questions, asking when their mother will come back home. Do you know that Nico asked me if we still loved him? If she still loves him? And why his friends have two parents and he seems to have a shell of a woman for one, and a vacant space in the king-sized bed for the other?"
"She might not want you again, however, and your imagined future may be false – it is the opposite of reality, no? If I were her, I wouldn't. You cheated on her when she only gave you love and patience and… Well, Alexia, I swear I really want to see you happy, but I just don't think she'll forgive you."
"And why not?"
Alba sighs. She places her hand on Alexia's back, moving it in circles to calm her sister down. When they were little, it was always Alexia who helped Alba. With school, with her problems, with new lovers or ones from the past. It was her responsibility to take care of her little sister, and when their father died and there were only three of them, Alexia felt that responsibility even more.
Here, roles reversed, Alba can only apply that which she has learnt from the heaving lump of flesh slumped on the chequered tiles.
"Alba," repeats Alexia, lowering her voice, relenting. "She loves me."
The younger of the two can’t help the tears that brim in her eyes, distressed in her own right. "She loves you despite your other girlfriend because she's a saint. She's a saint but, if you want her to be happy, you cannot take advantage of her," Alba warns gravely, sincerely, and correctly. Alexia lifts her head and looks at the clock on the bathroom wall. Alba's apartment is clean and trendy, just like the woman, and she has dirtied it with her presence. She remains, for the foreseeable future, Alexia, The Ruiner.
"Smartass."
"It's just the truth."
"Well, if that's the truth, I'd rather you be a liar."
Alba sighs again, more heavily, and asks Alexia to get up from the floor. If Alexia's knee hurts, she says nothing and jumps up and down. "Ay, your knee," Alba grumbles but Alexia keeps going. She keeps going and going until she can't breathe and her lungs hurt. She keeps going because she believes it will rid her of her sadness, or at least hopes so. She hasn't stopped when Alba asks her to. A loud voice breaks the silence. "What are you doing?"
"Destroying everything. If I can't be with her, I don't want to play football. I don't want to walk, or see, or talk. I just don't want to live."
To Alba, this tells her two things. One is that her sister has gone batshit crazy. The other? Well, that is the solution. It's simple, really; one sentence, and Alexia will know what she has to do.
"You need to fix this.")
Heartbreak is ugly, but Alexia’s guilt is uglier.
#woso x reader#woso#woso fanfics#barca femeni#woso imagines#fc barcelona#mapi leon#ona batlle#alexia#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#alexia putellas imagine#randombush3
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Body Electric
We get down every Friday night’
Logan Howlett x Fem!reader
Summary: Logan teaches you how to properly play pool.
A/n: Has been proofread at like 12 albeit.
Warnings: Smut!! 18+ MDNI.
Words: 861
This bar is too stuffy, bodies crammed together in a single room, music far too loud for conversation, hot, sweaty air.
You want to leave, Logan can tell because you’re squirming at his side. A hand squeezing his bicep, he brushes you off with a whisper of ‘2 seconds baby’ determined to get his money worths of a bottle of whiskey.
You roll your eyes, a huff of air escapes your lips but Logan gently pushes you away with a hand on your hip. You groan and lean back against him with false retaliation before you set off to find entertainment.
The pool table is what catches your eyes first, you’re not much of a pool player but whatever makes the time go by faster.
“Up for one more player?” The crowd around the table bristles and you feel regret nip at your heels when heads raise and you notice that it’s all men playing. But it’s too late, your words are out and you’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge.
A few of them throttle a laugh, but the majority nod in agreement. So you pick up a stick and dust the end blue with pool chalk. The game starts relatively slow, and you’re not doing too well.
The group of players are getting a little too handsy, an occasional subtle brush of a hand as one walks past. The drop of a ‘doll’ or ‘darling’ but you’re too determined to notice.
Logan watches from his place at the bar, if looks could kill those men would be dead; his stare shooting daggers. He downs the rest of his glass, liquid courage searing in the back of his throat and he waltz over right as you start your turn.
You feel a pair of large hands on your hips, the tips of their rough fingers skirting your dress up as one hand dips down and grabs the fat of your thigh. Crotch flush against the curve of your ass.
“Missed me?” Logan’s hot breath pricks forks in the skin of your neck, a shiver runs down your spine and straight to between your legs.
“Mhm,” your voice wobbles as Logan fully leans overtop of you; pressing you flat against the pool table, his hands move from your hips. One glides down your arm to your hand holding the top of the pool stick, the other sits at the back of your elbow of the one holding the end.
“Hope you don’t mind me intervening.” Logan states bluntly towards the group of men surrounding the pool table with a bow of his head and raised brow. There’s no interjects from the group.
“Alright then.” Logan says as he gently caresses the skin of your elbow with his thumb. “You got this sweetheart,” he whispers in your ear.
Your body electrifies under his touch, turning to putty within moments. Unfortunate for you as your brain melts, fortunate for Logan as he expertly manipulates your movements to perfectly hit the ball; it bounces off one and shoots into one of the slots.
Each of your turns continues like this, and each time you can feel Logan getting harder and harder behind you.
Until it’s too much to bear and you abruptly grab him by his arm and tug him outside. “Geez, I thought it was going pretty good in there.” Logan protests as you push him towards the truck.
“If you wanted to go home that badly you should’ve said,” he mutters as he searches for his keys in the back pocket of his wranglers.
“Don’t play stupid.” You say as you cut his action off by pushing him up against the side of the truck.
“Not playing stupid.”
“Shut up.” You kiss him abruptly, he grabs your hips forcefully; enough to leave bruises. You bite down on his lips in response and he groans into your mouth before shoving his tongue into it. He switches the position pushing you against the truck now.
One of his hands dip down you panties and into your wetness, fingers rubbing gentle circles there as you both break apart for air and he starts placing wet kisses down your neck; sucking until the blood vessels burst.
You whine as his fingers dip inside you, he pushes them in to the knuckle and curls them. A gasp escapes you as he works you undone until you come with a loud moan. “That’s it baby,” he grins against your neck.
You hastily undo his belt, and before you know it your legs are wrapped tightly around his waist and he’s buried to the hilt within your heat. He groans intensely as he thrusts in and out, the truck rocks and anyone with a working set of eyes and ears can tell what’s happening. Thank god everyone is too drunk to notice. Their senses dulled by liquor.
“Come on, come on sweetheart,” Logan’s pace quickens as he reaches the end of his tether and you both come at the same time. Sweat beads at the back of your neck, as you’re both left gasping desperately for air.
Logan lays his forehead against yours, “you’re mine, yeah?”
#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x fem!reader#wolverine x f!reader
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Fresh Blood | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Warnings:
Word Count: 6382
A/N: This may be one of my favorite episodes I’ve ever written. I hope you guys love it as much as I loved writing it!!!
Also this gif i'm nutting. goodbye.
Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist
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“I’m just trying to figure out what you’re looking for here, Sam,” you explained as he paced around the room. You sat calmly on yours and Dean’s shared motel bed.
“I thought I was pretty clear about it, (Y/N), I just want Dean to actually give a fuck about himself,” Sam continued.
You sighed and shook your head. “You and me both. But that was not the impression you were giving either of us. I think his apology was completely warranted, and your reaction was completely dickish.”
The brunet scoffed. “Of course, you’re on his side. Even though he’s leaving you here, to0.”
“See! That! Right there! That makes us think you want an apology from him. So are you angry at him for dying or angry at him for trying to enjoy what little he’s got left?” you replied pointedly.
Your phone rang, breaking the conversation between you and Sam. “Hello?”
“Hello, darling,” Bela cooed through the phone. “Where are you?”
“Why do you wanna know?” you asked, skeptical.
“C’mon, I thought we established a rapport with each other. Don’t you trust me?” she replied flippantly.
“No,” you scoffed. “So, again, why do you wanna know?”
“Was curious if you were nearby. Maybe we could have that girl talk you suggested,” she replied easily.
You still weren’t sure if you trusted her, but against your better judgment, you told her anyway.
“That’s too bad,” she said. “Nowhere near me. Thanks anyway, love. And thank you again for saving me.” She hung up.
You pulled the phone away from your ear and stared at it questioningly. Bela had been a bit too pleasant, and something in you was screaming red flags at you. Even still, you pushed the feeling aside.
Sam looked at you strangely. “Who was that?”
“Bela,” you replied, still slightly zoned out while the wheels in your head turned. “She asked where we were. Sure that won’t come back to bite us in the ass.”
***
The current town you were blowing through was home to a nest of vampires you were there to wipe out. It seemed like a standard hunt, but when was it ever with the Winchesters?
In front of you, Dean moved his flashlight over to a pool of blood on the ground of the dark alleyway. Worriedly, you and the brothers rushed toward the man whose blood was spilling out profusely.
Fortunately, he was still conscious, and you immediately took the handkerchief out of your jacket pocket to start packing his wound. “Sam, call an ambulance,” you ordered.
“Where is she? Where'd she go?!” Dean questioned frantically.
The man gestured vaguely down the alley, and the older brother set off down it. While you continued to try and stop the bleeding from the man’s bite wound and keep him conscious and calm, you heard Dean yell, “Smell that?! Come and get it!”
“Oh, Dean, you idiot,” you shook your head without stopping your work, knowing he’d done something stupid trying to get the vampire’s attention.
“That's right. Come on. I smell good, don't I? I taste even better.”
You bit your lip at Dean’s taunting words, unfortunately being reminded of how good he did actually taste in the midst of your chaotic situation.
“Come on! Free lunch!” your partner continued yelling.
“Ambulance is on its way,” Sam told you. “Probably five minutes out.”
“Then we’d better be gone before they get here.” You looked down at the man. The bleeding had begun to slow, and he looked less panicked. “I don’t wanna leave you here, dude, but I’m gonna have to. You gonna be okay?”
He took the handkerchief from you and kept it firmly on his wound before offering a confused smile and a thumbs-up.
You smiled down at him and pushed up off the floor.
“Cutting it a little close, don’t you think?” you heard Sam telling Dean further down the alleyway.
“What’d you do, you idiot?” you asked, strutting up to the boys. You then noticed Dean holding his neck, and his arm was bleeding. “Oh, Jesus— Dean!”
“Just chum in the water, sweetheart. Worked, didn't it?” the older brother smirked at you. He looked down at his undoubtedly pulsing arm. “Ow,” he whined.
“C’mon,” you said. “Let’s getcha back to the motel room and take the undead chick with us.”
Sam hoisted the vampire over his shoulders in a fireman’s hold. “Let’s go.”
***
The petite, blonde vampire sat in the center of the dingy room tied to a chair. The morning sun was beginning to rise, and Sam had leaned the mattresses against the windows to block anyone from seeing into the room. Meanwhile, you were helping Dean get cleaned up.
He sat on the last unoccupied chair beside the table in the corner. You stood next to him, carefully cleaning the wound on his neck. He hissed through his teeth as you wiped around it. “Baby, if you keep flinching, it’s gonna take even longer,” you said.
“It fuckin’ hurts,” he whined.
“Yeah, well, it was your bright idea to let Lady Nosferatu bite you in the neck,” you replied.
“Lady who?” he questioned.
“Dude— nevermind,” you snickered. When you had the gauze pad secured to his still slightly bleeding neck, you moved to address his arm. You kneeled in front of him, and Dean immediately had a wide smirk on his face.
“What?” you asked.
“Nothin’, just… looks like you’re about to give me head,” he snickered.
“Dean!” you squeaked, smacking the inside of his muscular, thick thigh lightly. “Sorry, Sam.”
“It’s fine!” Sam immediately responded, and his reaction told you that he simply didn’t want to acknowledge his brother’s crudeness.
You giggled and continued your work before you scolded, “Why’d you cut your arm so deep, you dumbass? I’m gonna have to stitch it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, next time, I’ll bring my scalpel and only cut three-fourths of an inch down,” Dean snarked.
“That’s actually too deep,” you replied. “Dermis has the blood; only, like, three millimeters under the top layer of skin.”
“Well, excuse me, professor— Fuck!” he cursed when you stuck the needle through his arm to begin stitching it up.
“Don’t be a baby,” you joked.
“It hurts,” he replied, whining a little.
“Again, maybe don’t go baitin’ Jaws,” you snarked.
His arm would tense every once in a while, but he stayed relatively quiet while you finished your work.
“All done,” you said when you’d finished wrapping the wound in a bandage.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said. Dean leaned down and tilted your chin up with his fingers to kiss you gently.
You smiled against his lips, but the smile faded when you heard the vampire start shifting behind you.
Immediately, Dean was all business. It was both terrifying and a huge turn-on when he “flipped the switch,” so to speak. “You with us?”
Dean questioned, leaning over the vampire who still had blood dripping from her mouth.
The girl woke up fully and struggled against her bonds.
“Oh, yeah, sorry. You're not going anywhere,” the older Winchester taunted.
You sat where Dean had while you patched him up and crossed your legs and arms, staring intimidatingly.
“Where's your nest?” Sam asked the vampire.
“What?” she replied, looking confused.
“Your nest,” you said as if it was obvious. “Where the rest of you freaks hang out.”
“I don't know what you're talking about,” she began to cry. “Please! I don't feel good.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, well, you're gonna feel a hell of a lot worse if we give you another shot of dead man's blood,” Dean hissed.
“Just let me go,” the blonde begged.
Sam laughed. “Yeah, you know we can't do that.”
“I'm telling you the truth. I'm just... I took something. I'm freaking out! I don't know what's going on!” she cried.
That seemed to change Sam’s approach to her. “You took something?”
“Yes! I can't... come down. I just want to come down,” she whined.
“What's your name?” Sam asked.
“Lucy,” she responded, sniffling. “Please, just let me go.”
“Alright, Lucy, how about this?” Sam started. “If you tell us what happened, we'll let you go.”
“You will?” She looked over to you and Dean. Dean nodded insincerely, but you remained unmoving.
“Uh, I don't really... um, it's, it's not that clear. I was at Spider,” Lucy explained. “The club, on Jefferson. And there was this guy... he was buying me drinks.”
“This guy... what's he look like?” Sam pressed.
“He was old, like thirty. He had brown hair, a leather jacket... uh, Deacon or Dixon or something. Said he was a dealer... he had something for me.”
“Something?” prompted Dean.
“Something new. ‘Better than anything you've ever tried.’ He put a few drops in my drink.”
“Was the drug red and thick?” you deadpanned.
She nodded, and Sam hung his head in disbelief.
“Well, genius move there. That was vampire blood he dosed you with,” Dean said, almost cold.
“What?” Lucy squeaked.
“Yeah, you just took a big steamin' shot of the nastiest virus out there,” Dean responded.
“You're crazy! He gave me roofies or something! No... The next thing I know, we're at his place, and he says he's gonna get me something to eat, just wait. But I get so hungry,” she whined.
Dean moved behind your chair as he asked, “So you busted out?”
Lucy nodded. “But it won't wear off... whatever he gave me?”
“Lights are too bright? Sunshine hurt your skin?” you said.
“Yeah... And smells. And I can... hear blood pumping!” she cried.
“Well, I hate to tell you this, sweetheart, but your blood's never pumping again,” Dean explained.
Lucy shook her head. “Not mine. Yours. I can hear a heart beating from half a block away. I just want it to stop.”
Sam looked sympathetic, and you were having a difficult time hating the girl at that moment. It was reminding you of the case with Gordon where your world was turned upside-down.
“Alright, listen, Wavy Gravy,” Dean jested, “It's not going to stop. You've already killed two people, almost three.”
The blonde sobbed, “No, I couldn't. No! I was hallucinating!”
“You killed them, alright?” Dean growled. “We've been following a sloppy trail of corpses, and it leads straight to you.”
“No. No, it wasn't real! It was the drug! Please! Please, you have to help me!”
Sam jerked his head at you and Dean, making you step out of the room.
“No, no,” she wailed as you walked out.
“Poor girl,” said Sam when you entered the next room.
“We don't have a choice,” Dean reminded him.
Sam sighed, but ultimately nodded at you. On his cue, you took your machete back into the room with Lucy.
“No… please!” she begged as you approached her.
Almost completely devoid of emotion, you swung your machete at her neck and took her head off in one clean cut. Her head thumped to the ground beside you, and your stomach dropped slightly.
Before you could spend too much time contemplating the morality of what you’d just done, you ordered the boys to start helping you dispose of her. You cleaned the blood off from around her mouth and closed her eyes in an attempt to give her a properly respectful funeral. Thankfully, Sam and Dean didn’t question the fact that you wanted to give her a hunter's funeral and helped you set up the pyre in the middle of the woods.
“You okay, (Y/N/N)?” Sam asked gently while Lucy’s body burned.
“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “Wrong place, wrong time, and that could’ve been me.” You shook your head and took a deep breath, forcing your emotions aside. “Well, we did her a favor. At least she won’t be a blood junkie for the rest of forever.” You turned and headed back to the car, leaving both the boys behind.
***
That night, you and the Winchesters headed to Spider, the bar that Lucy told you about. Thinking about that poor girl was beginning to make you feel sick. What was making you even sicker was watching Dean have to flirt with beautiful girls for information. You knew he was just doing his job, but it was getting under your skin watching them eye him wantonly and trail their manicured nails up his arm. Girls were approaching Sam, too, and he was barely entertaining any of them. The sight of his discomfort made you giggle. You chose to hang back against the wall with a drink in your hand. Although, at this moment, you definitely would’ve preferred a joint.
Dean soon rejoined you against the wall, and you giggled at the uncomfortable shiver he exaggerated when he approached you.
“What, flirting’s not your thing anymore?” you teased, although his answer was going to serve as a bit of a test.
“Nah, not with anyone else,” he replied. “Not since you.”
You smiled lopsidedly. “Find out anything useful?”
“Nope,” he replied. “That was a big, fat waste of time.”
“Awesome.”
Sam came up to you and Dean next, mirroring Dean’s uncomfortable shiver.
“How’d it go, Casanova?” you jeered, and Sam glared at you.
“Not great,” he replied, beginning to lead you out of the bar. “I don’t get it, though. Three blondes have gone missing, including Lucy, all last sighted here. I'm telling you, this is the hunting ground. What I can’t figure out is where the hell he—”
“You mean that guy?” you asked, pointing to a thirty-something-year-old man ducking into an alley with his arm around a pretty blonde.
Sam looked at you concernedly, and the three of you ran after the guy and the blonde.
“You ready, sweetie?” the man asked, voice becoming louder as you approached. “One taste of this; you'll never be the same.”
Dean charged him before he could drug the girl and clocked him squarely across the jaw.
“Get out of here,” you told the girl, who looked startled. “Go, go!”
She listened to you and ran back toward the bar. A sickening thud had you turning back around to see Dean lying on the ground against a brick wall. The vampire had cut and run.
“Dean!” you cried.
“I'm good,” he groaned as you helped him up. “Come on.”
You ran after the vampire, and as you turned the corner, you came face to face with Gordon and the man that had tried to kill Sam you’d called Willem Dafoe.
Gordon raised his gun, and you took the opportunity to sprint behind cars parked nearby to dodge the flying bullets. You pulled the brothers behind a brick wall one of the cars was parked next to and attempted to catch your breath.
“Alright. Run,” Dean ordered you and Sam. “I'll draw them off.”
“What?!” you and Sam hissed simultaneously. Sam’s, “No, you're crazy!” and your, “No fucking way, Dean!” followed him out of the alley. You watched in horror as Dean jumped onto a car across the street from you and narrowly missed being hit by a bullet whizzing past him. Your breath released when he pulled himself over a second-story parking lot entrance, and you nodded at Sam to head down the alley further before Gordon or his friend could find you here.
***
“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” you spat. “As soon as he gets back here, he’s fucking dead.”
Sam paced between the two beds while you sat angrily at the table in the motel room, flipping your knife anxiously.
“There you are!” Sam exclaimed when his brother burst through the door.
“Yeah. Sorry, I stopped for a slice,” Dean replied at complete ease.
You stood, face set dangerously in anger and almost daring Dean to say something to set you off even further. “Couldn’t even call us to tell us you were okay?” You didn’t give him a chance to respond before you continued to chastise him. “Great fucking going, by the way, runnin’ into the line of fire.”
“Well, what can I say? I'm a bad-ass.”
You were floored at Dean’s blatant disregard of your concern and anger. His disrespect was definitely getting him closer and closer to the doghouse with each passing second.
“So, I guess Gordon's out of jail,” Dean mentioned casually.
“Uh, yeah, I guess so. You know, how the hell did he know where to find us?” Sam asked.
Through your anger, it dawned on you. You became even further enraged. “Bela.” Before the Winchesters could make a comment, you pulled out your phone and called her.
“Hello, darling.” You could almost hear the smile in Bela’s voice as she spoke.
“Got something to tell me, lover?” you mockingly replied.
“There was something, actually,” she said. “Gordon Walker paid me to tell him where you were.”
You hummed through gritted teeth.
“Well, he had a gun on me. What else was I supposed to do?” she laughed uncomfortably.
“Pick up the damn phone after he’s gone,” you answered, voice uncomfortably calm.
“I did fully intend to call, I just got a bit sidetracked,” she rushed out, still trying to maintain her cool and failing miserably. “I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was such a big deal. After all, there are three of you and one of him.”
“There were two of them, but thanks for playin’,” you remarked.
“Oh.” You heard a shift in her tone, but you were too angry to care.
“Listen to me closely,” you began. “If I make it out of this alive, the first fucking thing I’m gonna do is kill you.”
“You’re not serious!” she protested.
“Does it sound like I’m kidding?” you responded, your voice still eerily calm.
“(Y/N)—”
“Goodbye, Bela.” You snapped your phone shut. When you’d hung up, you took a deep breath. Your brief moment of solace was disrupted by Dean.
“You okay, sweetheart?”
To even your own surprise, you laughed; hard. You felt insane yourself, but you were so angry, you couldn’t speak. When you’d calmed down enough to talk, you hissed, “Do you think I’m fucking okay?!”
“No, I just—”
You steeled yourself. “No. We’ll talk about this later,” you asserted, and Dean snapped his mouth shut obediently. “For now, we gotta track a vamp.”
“First things first,” Dean began trepidatiously, trying not to set you off again.
“Gordon,” you nodded.
“About that. When we find him, or if he finds us…” the older brother trailed off. “Well, I'm just saying, he's not leaving us a whole lot of options.”
Calmly, Sam stated, “Yeah, I know. We've got to kill him.”
“Really? Just like that? I thought you would have been like—” he gave his best impersonation of his younger brother’s whiny voice, “ ‘No, we can't, he's human, it's wrong’.”
Sam shrugged. “No, I'm done. I mean, Gordon's not gonna stop until we're dead... or till he is.”
Your phone rang, and you scowled at it when you read the caller ID. “What?!”
“I don't like it when people hold grudges against me,” Bela started, “and more to the point, I'd rather you didn't kill me, so I went ahead and found Gordon's exact location for you.”
“You're a hundred miles away. How the hell did you—”
“Hello? Purveyor of powerful occult objects?” she remarked. “I used a talking board to contact the other side.”
“And?” you prompted.
“Warehouse. Two stories, riverfront, neon sign outside.”
“Thanks,” you said.
“One more thing. The spirit had a message for you. ‘Leave town, run like hell, and whatever you do, don't go after Gordon.’ For whatever that's worth,” Bela told you before hanging up.
You considered her words carefully and told the boys what you’d heard.
Dean, who’d been sharpening his machete, stowed the weapon in his duffel bag and immediately headed out of the door. You and Sam followed his lead. Despite the little sleep you’d been getting and the long night ahead, you felt wide awake.
***
You were on even higher alert when you arrived at the building Bela had described. As a precaution, you and Dean grabbed machetes and handguns. Sam stayed behind you with his own gun, and the three of you carefully entered the warehouse.
You heard what sounded like crying coming from down the stairs near the entrance, and you motioned for Sam and Dean to follow you.
As the room below came into view, you were stunned to see the vampire you’d been looking for kneeling; surrounded by the bodies of young girls with their heads having been ripped manually from their bodies. About a dozen blonde and bloodied heads lay scattered mercilessly across the floor, and despite your years of experience, your stomach turned at the sight.
“Go ahead,” the vampire encouraged, unmoving. “Do it. Kill me.”
“What happened here?” Sam asked him.
“Gordon Walker,” he sniffed. “I never should have brought a hunter here. Never. I just... I just wanted some kind of revenge. Stupid... exposing him to my family.”
“Oh, yeah, you're such a family man,” Dean couldn’t help but remark.
The vampire paused for a tense moment. “You don't understand.”
“I don't want to understand, you son of—”
The vampire cut him off, standing and crying out, “I was desperate! You ever felt desperate?”
You turned to see Dean with that infuriatingly unreadable expression on his face.
“I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse hell?” he said, approaching you.
You tightened your grip on your machete.
Despite how the vampire’s words were clearly beginning to affect him, Dean snarkily replied, “Well, there's Hell.”
“I wasn't thinking. I just... I didn't care anymore. Do you know it's like when you just don't give a damn? It's like... it's like being dead already.” He looked down at your machete. “So just go ahead. Do it.”
Sam was bent over, inspecting the heads of the girls that lay on the floor. “Dean. Head wasn't cut off, it was ripped off. With someone's bare hands. Dixon, what did you do to Gordon?”
Dixon didn’t respond for a moment.
“He asked you a question,” you stated firmly.
“I turned him,” was Dixon’s immediate reply.
You dropped your head in frustration before immediately recovering and swiping Dixon’s head clean off.
***
When both boys had gone to bed, you snuck out to the Impala wrapped in a hoodie and sweatpants. Illuminated only by the moon and a singular streetlight across from your rural motel, you rolled a joint sitting on the trunk and staring up at the sky. As the smoke filled your lungs, you fought back your rising emotions.
A few minutes later, Dean walked up beside you. He stared straight ahead, as did you. “You should get some sleep,” Dean instructed.
You remained unmoving and took another hit of your joint. Your long inhale and exhale was making Dean nervous for your response; you could practically feel his anxiety radiating off him despite how he tried to hide it. “I’ll sleep when I know I’m not losing both of you,” you finally replied quietly.
He scoffed, and you saw him drop his head to the side out of the corner of your eye. “What do you mean, you’re not losing—”
“You took a big fucking risk, Dean,” you cut him off. “You’re getting more and more reckless.”
“It’s a dangerous gig, (Y/N),” he argued, voice steely. “We all take risks every once in a while.”
“Risks is different than attempted suicide, dude,” you replied.
“When’s the last time Sam or I jumped in front of two firing guns?”
“That’s just ‘cause you guys are pussies—”
“No, dammit!” You stood and threw your joint to the ground, stamping it out. You turned to him for the first time in your conversation. “I am so tired of your crap! Do you know what it feels like to watch you take greater, dumber risks than you already normally do because you know you have an expiration date?! Why are you acting like you want to rush it? Because you and I both know you’re terrified—”
“You don’t know that,” Dean shook his head, brows drawn together and jaw clenched in anger.
“Yes, I do,” you said. “Because I know you. And I love you. And—” your voice broke, but you pushed through the angry tears, “selfishly, I don’t wanna lose the little bit of time I have left with you because you’re on some… kamikaze trip or whatever.”
Dean stared down at you, and you stared back despite the tears steadily sliding down your cheeks. After a moment, he pulled you into his chest and rested his head on top of yours. You wrapped your arms around him and deeply inhaled his scent. Dean kissed the top of your head, and you sighed contentedly.
“Please don’t make this harder for me,” you begged him. “Please.” You pulled away from him and gingerly touched his cheek. “And don’t give up on my boy just yet, okay?”
Dean nodded and kissed your palm. You figured he hadn’t spoken in a while because he was choking back tears of his own that were now beginning to slip down his cheeks.
“And when you’re scared, talk to me. Please. Please, just talk to me,” you implored. “I know you say you’re not good at the ‘touchy-feely’ or whatever, but you don’t have to do this alone. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I do,” he replied, voice rough with emotion.
You pulled his face down to yours and kissed him gently, savoring the way Dean’s lips felt against yours; soft and pillowy in contrast to the rough stubble in your hands given he hadn’t shaved in a few days. When you pulled away, he kept you close to him by your waist. “Talk to me, baby. I’m here for you always. Even when you’re gone,” you said. “I… I don’t know what it’s like down there. But if you can talk, talk to me. Tell me what it’s like. Tell me when it hurts and when you’re scared. Because you are never alone.”
Dean rested his forehead against yours and shut his eyes. “What did I do to deserve you,” he murmured.
You tilted your chin up and kissed the tip of his nose. “You didn’t have to do anything. You deserve love, Dee. Just for simply being you.”
“How do you know that?” he asked, his voice conveying every bit of brokenness he was feeling.
Dean was averting his eyes from your face, but you returned your hands to either side of his face and made him look at you. “Because you are the most… loving man I have ever met.”
When he shook his head and tried to look away, you kept him in his place.
“No, look at me,” you continued tearfully. “Remember when I told you I didn’t know what love felt like? ‘Cause of my parents and all that?”
Dean nodded.
“I know what it feels like now. Because of you,” you told him, an emotional smile tugging on the corners of your lips. “You… are changing me. For the better. And I’m gonna tell you something stupid and cliche—”
“Oh, god—” he groaned, chuckling.
“—so just brace yourself, okay?” you laughed, sniffling. “To know you is to love you. I’m dead serious. And I know you don’t believe me. I know you see yourself, like… like a weapon. The way your dad raised you…” you shook your head, feeling yourself become angry that Dean was raised similarly to you. “I mean, he pretty much trained you to hate yourself. But you are so much more than what he made you believe you are.
“You are the strongest person I’ve ever known,” you continued. “I mean, I’m fucking pissed at you for throwing yourself in the line of fire, but I know why you do it. Because you love me. And you love Sam. And as much as it infuriates me, you’d rather die than watch Sam or I do so.” You snorted, “I mean, that’s why we’re in this deal situation to begin with, right?” pulling a chuckle from Dean.
“So can you do something for me?” you asked.
“Anything if it’ll get you to shut up,” he smirked, and you knew it was because he couldn’t handle much more verbal affection.
“Start treating you the way I see you,” you said. “Like… treat yourself like you matter. ‘Cause you do. And I love you.”
His face was contorted in a confusing mix of discomfort from the onslaught of affirmation, love for you, and what seemed like pride in hearing you talk about him like that.
“Can you do that for me?” you asked.
Dean nodded. “I’ll try.”
***
The next night, you and the boys were regrouping in the motel room following having searched the city for Gordon all day long. A little over two hours ago, you’d returned from getting new phones for you and the brothers in an attempt to avoid Gordon tracking you through the SIM cards on your original devices, and it seemed the two boys had a deep conversation while you were gone. For that, you were thankful; the two had needed to hash it out for a while now.
Much to your surprise, your phone rang.
“You've had that phone two hours, (Y/N),” Sam said, confused. “Who'd you give the number to?”
“Nobody,” you replied, mirroring his surprise. “Hello?” you answered the phone.
“Hi, sweetie.”
You turned to the boys and put your phone on speaker. “How’d you get this number?” you asked, stepping back from the phone as if Gordon could jump out and hurt you through it.
“Your scent's all over the cellphone store,” Gordon explained. He seemed to realize you had put him on speaker. “Gotta tell you, Dean, your girl smells good. Of course, I can't smell her now. Where are you?”
Dean’s jaw clenched in fury, and he spat, “Well, I guess you'll just have to find us, won't you.”
“I’d rather you come to me,” Gordon replied smoothly.
“What's the matter, Gordo? You're not afraid of us, are you? We're just sitting here. Bring it on!” Dean challenged.
“I don't think so.”
Then, you heard the voice of a woman crying through the phone.
Your eyes widened slightly in fear for the girl, and Gordon shushed the girl on the other end of the line. “Factory on riverside off the turnpike. Be here in twenty minutes, or the girl dies.”
“Gordon, let the girl go,” Dean asserted. “Bye, Dean,” Gordon said.
“Gordon!” Dean yelled, stopping him from hanging up the call. “Don't do this. You don't kill innocent people. You're still a hunter.”
“No,” he chuckled coldly. “I'm a monster.” And with that, he hung up.
***
“I’m gonna waste that fucker, I swear,” you growled as you helped Sam and Dean untie the girl Gordon had kidnapped.
“Hey, we got you,” Sam told her. “Don't worry. We're gonna get you out of here.” He gave her a few instructions to begin leading her out of the factory.
The woman sobbed, and the poor thing could barely walk. Dean cradled her in his arms, instructing you and Sam to stay close. Unfortunately, the two of you were not close enough. A door slid closed from above, cutting you and Sam off from Dean.
“Sam!” Dean yelled. “(Y/N)!”
“Dean!” you cried, pushing at the door.
Sam pounded the door in frustration. You gave it one final kick, which you knew was pointless, but it helped to get a little anger out.
“Both of you; be careful!” Dean instructed through the door.
Then, the lights went out.
“Sam!” you called through the darkness.
“Right here!”
You followed his voice till you were back-to-back with him, the two of you trying your best to get your bearings in the dark.
“Sorry, sweetie, didn’t mean for you to get caught up in this,” Gordon spoke through the darkness, his voice still hauntingly even as ever.
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” you hissed.
“Gordon! You got me where you want me. You might as well come out and fight!” Sam asserted.
Suddenly, Gordon’s voice seemed to be between your and Sam’s head. “I'm right here, Sam.”
The two of you swished your machetes, the two hitting each other and igniting sparks for a brief moment.
“What's the matter, Sammy?” Gordon chuckled.
“So, this is really the way you want to do it, huh?” Sam taunted despite his growing anxiety.
“Damn right I do,” Gordon snarled. “You have no idea what I faced to get here. I lost everything. My life. But it's worth it, 'cause I'm finally gonna kill the most dangerous thing I ever hunted. You're not human, Sam.”
“Look who's talking,” you replied.
“You're right. I'm a bloodthirsty killer.” Gordon’s voice sounded like it was coming from every direction.
“Don't talk about it like you don't have a choice,” Sam said, back still pressed to yours.
“I don't,” Gordon responded.
“Yes you do, Gordon. You didn't kill that girl.”
“No, I didn't. I did something much, much worse.” You could hear the smile in his voice.
“Oh, you son of a bitch,” you cursed.
“Remember what happened the last time you talked bad about my mother, (Y/N)?” the vampire taunted, voice sounding in front of you.
You swiped at the darkness, but Gordon was too fast for you.
“I got to hand it to you, Sam,” Gordon began. “You got a lot of people fooled. But see, I know the truth. I know what it's like. We're the same now, you and me. I know how it is walking around with something evil inside you. It's just too bad you won't do the right thing and kill yourself. I'm gonna… as soon as I'm done with you. Two last good deeds. Killing you, and killing myself.”
“You fucker!” you charged right where you’d nailed Gordon’s voice down as emanating from as he spoke, and you tried to swipe at him. Unfortunately for you, you couldn’t get to Gordon fast enough. He sent you flying through the door you’d been separated from Dean by, and you collapsed to the floor in a painful heap.
“(Y/N)!” Dean cried.
“I’m fine!” you yelled back, trying your best to brush it off. Your whole body hurt like hell, but you would not be useless in this fight. You grabbed your machete just in time to see Gordon fling Sam across the room.
Dean aimed the Colt at Gordon’s head, but Gordon wheeled around to grab Dean’s arm. He threw your partner against the wall and pinned him, sinking his teeth into Dean’s neck.
“No!” you screamed, throwing yourself at Gordon. You managed to get your arm around his neck and pull him to the ground with you. Much to your chagrin, Gordon recovered quickly, and he immediately tried to get a bite in at your neck. With an almost delighted smile, you slashed at Gordon’s head. It rolled away from you, and the rest of Gordon’s body slumped to the ground next to you.
You didn’t take more than a moment to catch your breath before you staggered to your feet to help your boys.
Sam was still in a heap on the floor trying to catch his breath, and Dean clutched his neck in pain. Despite the pain in your own body, you staggered toward Sam to help him up. The two of you groaned as you did so, and he threw an arm around your shoulders for support. Dean staggered to you, too, and the three of you stumbled off; each trying to support the other’s weight.
***
Somewhere between cities, Dean pulled off to the side of the road due to a rattling noise coming from under the hood and worked away at it. Meanwhile, you took three beers out of the cooler. You passed one to Dean when you’d opened it for him, and Sam sat on the lid of the cooler while he drank his.
“Thanks,” Dean smiled lopsidedly at you.
“Figure out what's making that rattle?” the younger brother asked.
“Not yet. Give me a box wrench, would you?”
Sam rifled through the toolbox and handed it to his sibling.
Dean thanked him but paused, looking thoughtful. “Sam,” he said.
“Wrong one?”
“No, no, no, come here for a second.”
Sam looked confused, but he got up and leaned under the hood with Dean.
You looked on, a smile pulling at your lips, and you replaced Sam on the cooler’s lid.
“This rattle could be a couple of things. I'm thinking it's an out-of-tune carb,” Dean began to explain, gesturing to something within the car you couldn’t see.
Sam still looked confused. “Okay.” “Alright, see this thing?” Dean gestured to something else. “It's a valve cover. Inside are all the parts that are on the head. Hand me that socket wrench.”
Sam did so.
“Alright, you with me so far?”
Sam nodded. “Yeah, uh, valve cover covers the heads.”
“Very good,” Dean nodded. “Now this is your intake manifold, okay, and on top of it?” He paused, looking at Sam expectantly. Sam smiled, trying to remember. “It's, uh, uh, a carburetor.”
Dean nodded, repeating the word. “Very good.”
“What's with the auto shop?” Sam asked.
Dean held out the socket wrench to Sam, ignoring his question.
“What, you don't mean you want—”
Dean cut his brother off. “Yeah, I do. You fix it.”
“Dean, you barely let me drive this thing.”
The older man shrugged. “Well, it's time. You should know how to fix it. You're gonna need to know these things for the future.”
Your heart clenched at Dean’s admission.
“And besides, that's my job, right? Show my little brother the ropes?” he continued.
Sam nodded and took the wrench, swallowing down a little emotion. Even still, he leaned under the hood and started unscrewing.
Dean gestured for you to stand. He took your place on the cooler and patted his thigh. Happily, you perched atop it, and the two of you watched Sam.
Dean took a sip of his beer, lazily stroking your hip. “Put your shoulder into it,” he instructed Sam.
Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld
#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x y/n#dean winchester x you#dean winchester#dean x reader#dean x y/n#dean x you#supernatural#spn#supernatural series rewrite#spn series rewrite
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THE START OF BILLY HARGROVE AND HIS METAL HEAD BF RELATIONSHIP
WARNINGS: Use of the word fag, nothing else
A/N: There will be a part 2 in the future eventually.
You and Billy officially met when you two were paired together for a History project. Both of you hated the idea of having to work with each other because why wouldn’t you.
You two were complete opposites. You were a 6’2 metal head that wore corpse paint, band tees, and arguably way to many rings. While Billy was a 5’10 blonde hair blue eyed fuck boy that drove a loud ass car.
So it was no surprise that you both asked the teacher if there was anyway to get a different partner.
Unfortunately or rather fortunately the two of you couldn’t get out of doing the project together. While neither of you really cared all that much for your grades you both needed to pass the class and the project would count as 50% of your grade. So you both had to do it whether you liked it or not.
Anyway you begrudgingly both shared your information with one another and planned to meet up at your place that Friday to work on the project together.
Eventually Friday rolled around and Billy showed up late as always in his blue 1979 Chevrolet Camaro.
To say Billy didn’t want to be there was an understatement. Fortunately for him you had all the information the two of you would need to put together the project.
So things went smoothly and you two talked back and forth as you worked getting to know each other.
Which was when you both found out that you shared a genuine love of cars. This definitely helped your guys acquaintanceship and made the project go by quicker.
Anyway in the end the project only took you guys 3 hours which was less than what you both expected it to take. After you guys finished Billy left your place and that Monday you guys presented to the class before you both went back to strangers.
You two stayed strangers again for 2 months until Billy had a problem with his Camaro and didn’t want someone he didn’t know touching his baby so instead of taking it to a mechanic and knowing you worked on cars, he showed up at your house asking for you to look at.
You were of course surprised by this visit and even more surprised when he asked you to take a look at his Camaro. You of course agreed and took a look. It ended up being something real easy to fix so you.
So you took off your rings and handed them to Billy for safe keeping. As you bent over the Camaro fixing the problem.
Billy quietly watched you from the side as you worked on the Camaro. He took note of everything about you from your height and build to your clothes and corpse paint.
As he watched you he felt something grow in his chest. Something all too familiar. Something that he frankly hated. Something he wished to ignore specifically being in this shit hole of a town.
This town wasn’t all to found of people like him. People that liked same gender. But Billy would never call himself a fag sure he liked men but he also liked women. He had no clue what he was but he knew he liked you.
Maybe it was the fact you were so openly yourself and didn’t care what others thought of you or maybe was it the way you held yourself and talked. Who knows because Billy certainly didn’t.
As you were finish up Billy realized he needed to pay you for your work somehow. He wondered if you were gay and would go out on a date with him as payment.
“You’re all set. Your baby should be working at 100% again.”
“Thanks……Um would you maybe want to go out on a date with me. It’s all on me, I just want to um pay you back for your work.”
“Sure that’s fine with me. I’m free this Saturday if that good with you.”
“Yeah that works for me.”
“Well it’s a date then.”
#billy hargove#stranger things#billy hargrove x male reader#stranger things x male reader#billy hargrove x reader#stranger things x reader
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burning embers
part 3 of the great war :)
no warnings i don't think.
a night out with the team ends disastrously. or, perhaps, it's just what r and Ona need.
-----
Fortunately or unfortunately, the team only spent one night in the hotel in Tenerife, leaving for the airport shortly after the game. You weren't ignoring Ona exactly, but you weren't going out of your way to be near her. You were embarrassed, honestly; you'd let things go too far. You couldn't help but notice, though, that when you were around her, you felt lighter. The team had a couple days off, and you were hoping the days away from the defender would help clear your head.
You didn't think that you could be more convinced that Alexia was up to something with you and Ona, especially after being roomed together. That was until she suggested going out as a team the day after the game. Alexia. Alexia "I don't drink during the season" Putellas. It was so out of character, everyone had first thought that she was joking. She only doubled down though, which was how you found yourself walking into a bar in Barcelona to meet the rest of the team. You'd spent... a long time... getting ready, finally deciding on a hot pink corset top that may have been too small and black leather pants. It wasn't for Ona. Definitely not.
Consciously, you had decided that you couldn't go for her. It was too soon, and she was your teammate. And she likely didn't feel the same way. Unconsciously, however, your every move was about her. What you wore, what you did, what you said. It was all done to catch her attention, all done somewhat without you even noticing.
You were late, as a consequence of this, and most of the team was scattered around the bar by the time you'd arrived. You made your way over to the table that several of the girls were gathered around. There was a general cheer of greeting as you walked up, which you returned. Ona smiled softly at you, and you returned the look, feeling a blush rush into your cheeks.
"Ay chica, I think it's time we find you a rebound, sí?" Mapi asked, throwing an arm around your shoulders. "That one is pretty," she said, nodding at a girl standing across the bar who hadn't taken her eyes off of you since you'd walked in. You kept your eyes anywhere but on Ona as you replied.
"Eh. I'm good. Not really feeling it tonight," you told her, ignoring the way every person around the tables jaw dropped.
"No... hookup? No rebound?" Mapi questioned. "Are you feeling okay chica?" She jokingly brought her hand up to your forehead, as if feeling you for a fever. You shrugged her off, laughing.
"One night stands aren't really me anymore," you shrug. "Apparently, they are Alessia's thing, though."
With that, you walk over to the bar, allowing the information to sink in. You weren't really sure why you'd said it, but you couldn't find it in yourself to feel bad.
"Alessia cheated then?" Lucy said quietly, as soon as you were out of earshot. Alexia and Ona nodded.
"I'll kill her," Mapi scowled, eyes burning with fury. Ingrid rolled her eyes, setting a calming hand on her girlfriend's shoulder.
"Don't talk about it, not tonight. I want her to have fun and be distracted." Alexia commanded, and everyone agreed.
You busied yourself with getting a couple of shots, downing two of them standing at the bar. You carried a third back to the table, a new goal in mind; getting absolutely smashed.
-----
It was too easy, really. No one really even clocked how much you'd had to drink, or maybe they were just letting you have fun, until you stumbled into Alexia on your way out to the dance floor with Pina and Cata.
"Amiga, I think you've had enough," she suggested, steadying you.
"Nope. I'm having fun, don't ruin it." You said, shrugging her arm off and following your friends. Alexia sighed, looking after you with concern. She knew you were safe, at least. This was why she liked going out with the whole team; there were plenty of eyes around, everyone watching out for each other. It would be hard for you to do something irreversibly stupid with everyone around.
"I think someone should take her home." Ingrid said quietly, watching you hang on Cata as you danced. She turned to Alexia, as well as she could; Mapi had her arms wrapped around the Norwegian protectively, as someone had tried to hit on her earlier. Mapi had not enjoyed that, and was now stood behind Ingrid, making sure unwanted guests stayed away. Ingrid was pretending to be annoyed, but her lips kept tugging into a small, shy smile, whenever Mapi glared at anyone who got too close.
"I don't know. I can't tell if she needs this, needs to have fun, or if this is a mistake." Alexia said, conflicted.
Ona's tore her eyes off of you, turning to face her teammates. "She's had fun. 7 drinks of fun."
"Counting her drinks, are we?" Lucy asked, smirking into her drink. Ona stepped on her foot in response.
"Someone needs to watch out for her, and you all seem content to watch her self destruct," Ona bit back.
"Oni, no one's going to let her self destruct, or let her doing anything stupid or unsafe." Mapi said.
Alexia chimed in. "She just needs to rela-"
"-Where'd she go?" Ona cut in, looking back at where you were, only to find you not there.
The other girls hid smiles at Ona's worry.
"She went to the bathroom, I just watched her walk over there," Ingrid informed her, and Ona nodded, pausing a second, before pushing away from the table and heading in the direction you'd gone.
"I give them 2 weeks." Mapi said. Ingrid nodded in agreement.
"2 weeks? 1 at the most." Lucy replied.
"Don't be ridiculous," Alexia said, and the other girls looked at her in surprise, expecting her to have picked up on the tension between the two of you. "If they haven't kissed in the next 2 days, I'm locking them in a room together." The table burst into laughter.
-----
Ona waited for you outside the bathroom, telling herself that she was just worried about a friend who was clearly struggling. That all went out the window when you stumbled out of the bathroom, into Ona's arms. She caught you easily, and your face was only inches away from hers, her warm breath hitting your face as her eyes flitted between your lips and back to your eyes.
You were drunk. Not too drunk, but drunk enough that you were feeling brave. You leaned in, pressing your lips to Ona's. She kissed you back instinctually, wrapping her arms more securely around you. She tasted like tequila and chapstick, her lips soft against yours. You could only enjoy the kiss for a moment, though, before she was pulling back. It took everything in her to end the kiss, but she couldn't let this happen.
"No, y/n, no."
"Why not?" you asked, emboldened by the way she'd kissed you back.
"You're drunk."
"Not that drunk. I want this Ona, I want you." You said desperately. She still held you at arms length.
"I- I want you too. I won't be a rebound for you, though. I don't want to just fuck you and forget it happened." she responded quietly, dropping her eyes from your face. You jerked backwards like she'd struck you. Ona's stomach twisted at the hurt look on your face.
"You think I'd do that to you?" You asked, shocked.
"Y/n," Ona started, apparently realizing how her words had hurt you.
"No, forget it. Just forget it Ona." You said, turning and heading back out to the bar. Ona groaned. How had she screwed this up so badly? She'd meant to make her feelings clear, that she wanted more with you, and instead, she'd made it seem like she thought of you as someone who would hurt her. Pulling out her phone, she sent a text to Alexia, before heading out the door of the bar, and beginning the walk home.
-----
You didn't quite make it back to the table. Instead, you found yourself, again, at the bar, drinking as much as you could before your teammates realized where you were and inevitably cut you off.
"Fuck." Alexia said, glancing down at her phone.
"What?" Mapi asked, looking over her shoulder.
"Ona said she left, and to keep an eye on y/n like 10 minutes ago. Something must have happened." Alexia looked up, scanning the room for you. She spotted you at the bar, slumped onto Cata's shoulder, Pina and Patri standing next to the both of you, conversing quietly. It was clear they were trying to get you out of the bar and home without any of the older girls noticing how drunk you were.
With a deep sigh, Alexia pointed you out to the other girls, and her, Mapi, and Ingrid rose to head towards you.
-----
You'd blacked out at some point, the last thing you remember being Cata taking a drink out of your hand, and trying to get you to drink some water. If she had intervened, it must have been bad.
You woke the next morning to the sensation that someone had run you over with their car. Your head throbbed painfully, and your mouth was completely dry. Your stomach didn't feel great either, but you ignored that for now, staying completely still in the hopes that if you didn't move, you wouldn't feel worse.
Your eyes stayed shut, protecting you from the morning light leaking in through the blinds. That is, until you feel the bed shift next to you. You crack open an eye, praying that it was one of your friends, just keeping an extra eye on you. Maybe you should have been more specific with that wish, because the sight that met you was Ona, propped up on one elbow, gazing down at you in concern.
"Ona?" you croaked out, almost not believing your eyes.
"Hi, cariño." She responded quietly. "How are you feeling?"
"I think I died last night." you reply, and she snorts.
"That's what drinking half the bar will do to you." There was a beat of silence.
"Ona, did we..." you trail off, not really sure how else she would have ended up in your bed.
"Ay dios mío, no. Of course not. You could barely stand, let alone consent." Ona stated. You nod slowly, squeezing your eyes shut when the movement makes the room spin.
"How did you get here? You left." You say. "Did you come back? I don't remember... anything really."
"Not to the bar," she explains, looking uncomfortable. "I... I came here. Just to make sure you were okay."
--
By the time Ingrid, Mapi, and Alexia got you home, you were barely conscious. Ona, meanwhile, had made it home, but was too wound up to sleep. She felt horrible for what she'd said. She had to fix it, as soon as possible. She checked her phone, seeing a text from Alexia that confirmed that you'd gotten home safely. She grabbed her keys, completely sober by now, and headed towards your house.
When she arrived, she knocked on the door, preparing herself to apologize. She was surprised when Alexia opened the door.
"Ale?" Alexia fought a smile at Ona's appearance at your apartment, and gestured her inside like she'd been expecting her.
"What are you doing here?" Ona questioned, following Alexia into the house.
"Y/n's pretty drunk," she explained. "We couldn't leave her."
"I told you to keep an eye on her," Ona scolded, glaring at Alexia.
"I didn't see your text for a bit, and by the time I did, it was kind of too late. We got her home as soon as we could."
Ona shook her head, shoving past Alexia and heading towards the bathroom, where the sounds of you being sick were coming from. She entered the room, spotting Mapi leaning against the sink, a glass of water in her hand, looking troubled.
You were hunched over the toilet, every drink you'd had that night making a reappearance. You were disoriented, and your throat burned with every gag, causing tears to fall down your face. Ingrid was sat next to you, rubbing your back and speaking soothingly in your ear. You looked so upset, so miserable, Ona felt her heart clench in her chest at the sight.
You leaned back finally, resting your head against the wall. You were sweating, and Mapi went to hand Ingrid a damp towel to put on your forehead. Ona grabbed it first though, gesturing for Ingrid to get up.
"Let me," she insisted. Ingrid raised an eyebrow, but stood, allowing Ona to take her spot next to you. With the utmost care, Ona dabbed the towel over your brow, gently wiping the tears off your face.
Mapi and Ingrid stood in the doorway, looking uncertain.
"Ona, I don't think she'd want you to see her like this," Mapi said.
The defender's head snapped up, and she glared at her teammate.
"Well, I'm not leaving," she stated, daring Mapi to disagree. The couple relented, but didn't leave the room.
"Lets get her in bed, yeah?" Ingrid asked, stepping forward to support your other side. Together, they managed to half carry you into your bedroom and settle you under the covers. Mapi and Alexia followed them in, and Ingrid stepped back to stand next to them. Ona sat on the edge of the bed next to you, smoothing your hair back out of your face. She looked to be in pain, and each of her teammates separately felt that it was purely a result of seeing you so unwell.
"Someone should stay with her." Alexia said, breaking the silence. Without looking up, Ona responded.
"I will." She left no room for argument, moving to sit on the other side of your bed, pulling the blankets up around your now unconscious form securely.
"Call us in the morning, okay?" Alexia said, and Ona finally looked at her.
"I will." She said. She didn't miss the way her captain's eyes held a warning; Ona needed to fix whatever she'd done, and do everything in her power to never hurt you again like she evidently had tonight. The older girls left, and Ona settled in next to you, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest.
--
Ona gave you a very short, detail free version of this story, and you pretended that her version made sense, even though it seemed like she was leaving things out. She was avoiding your eyes now, and you could tell that she wanted to ask if you remembered kissing her. Deciding to get the conversation out of the way as soon as possible, you spoke up.
"Ona, I'm sorry I kissed you. I shouldn't have, it was stupid. I didn't mean to put you in a bad position."
It was perfect, you wanted to add. It made the ache in your chest fade away, like it did anytime Ona smiled at you. It was the happiest you'd been in weeks, her arms wrapped around you. You didn't regret it, not really. All you regretted was that you were drunk, and Ona had assumed you'd just wanted sex.
"Do you regret it?" She asked.
"Do you really think I'd just sleep with you and move on?" You countered, looking away from her.
She shook her head regretfully. "That's not what I meant, really y/n, I'm sorry it came across that way."
"What did you mean?" You ask, subconsciously scooting closer to her.
"I meant that I couldn't just have one night with you. I want more than that. I want you, all of you. All the time. And I know you don't want that. There's nothing wrong with random hookups, y/n, it's just not what I want with you."
"Why do you think I don't want more with you, Ona?" You wondered. She shrugged. Ona's jaw was clenched, uncomfortable with her vulnerability, and you wanted to make the look of unease on her face go away.
"You have a lot on your mind lately, I'm sure a relationship isn't what you want right now, especially after what happened with Alessia." She explained. You took a moment to gather your thoughts.
"I know I don't seem like I'm handling this breakup very well. It's not really because of Alessia. We wouldn't have worked, I know that. The cheating... that's been hard. The hardest thing though, the reason I've been so off, is you."
"Me? I'm stressing you out?" Ona asked, completely surprised. She'd thought you were torn up about the breakup, obviously.
"Ona, pretending that I haven't been falling in love with you is the hardest thing I've ever done," you whisper, and Ona's head snaps up, warm eyes finally meeting yours.
"Falling... in love with me?" She echoed, in full disbelief.
"I get it if you aren't there yet, really I do. It feels like it should be too soon, right? I don't know. Being around you makes me happy. You make me feel calm, when everything else in my life feels like an avalanche of stress. I just... I really just want to see your smile every second of every day. You make me feel like everything might be okay." You swallowed roughly.
It was out there now, no taking it back. Even though she'd said she wanted you, doubt still clawed at your mind. That is, until she spoke, after what felt like several minutes but was likely only a couple seconds.
"Thank god," she said, suddenly leaning in and pressing a searing kiss to your lips. Her hands were everywhere, in your hair, on your face, holding your body close to hers, as her lips worked against yours perfectly. It was perfect, it was everything. You felt more for Ona then than you had in the entire time you were with Alessia. Alessia hadn't make you feel this; like you were on fire, alight with love and need for the girl on top of you. You had to pull away much too soon for your liking.
"Oni, my head is already spinning,"you gasped out, and she pulled away instantly, concerned. "I really wish I wasn't violently hungover right now," you said, taking deep breaths as your head pulsed painfully.
"It's okay," she said. "I'll be here when you feel better." You look at her, bringing your finger up to lightly trace over the freckles that littered her face. The sun was shining in behind her, giving her a golden halo. It was fitting, you thought. It felt melodramatic, to think of her as an angel, but there was no other description that fit.
It didn't feel like you'd chosen her, chosen to like her, to feel this way. It felt completely out of your control, in a way that felt like some kind of divine intervention. If you believed in god, you'd be convinced she was sent by him. Instead, you decide that Ona, the angel, knew you needed her. Perfect, beautiful Ona.
Your perfect, beautiful Ona.
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this sounds like the ending of the story but its simply not. i have more up my sleeve 😈
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Twst Otome Isekai AU
Reader used to love isekai but became sick of all the terrible ML’s and annoying FL’s. There is nothing worse than getting into a series with an immersive setting only for the author to waste it on terrible main characters.
Eventually you give up on the genre and focus on getting her business degree. A year after graduating things are actually pretty good, you survived the terrible job market and landed a pretty sweet gig with a decent paycheck. Now, on the anniversary of your decision to drop all light novels, manhwa, manga, etc… you decided to celebrate your good fortune with a treat from your favorite cafe. You'll never guess what happened while you were crossing the street…
So yeah, Truck-kun sends you to Twisted Wonderland, which happens to be the last isekai you read. Ugh.
Okay, so it wasn't the worst offender, there were plenty of trashier light novels out there. you were actually pretty invested in the story’s world. The MC Allison (Call me Allie!) is a down on her luck woman from the modern world who died from tripping into traffic, only to wake up in the world of Twisted Wonderland. Through her the audience meets the characters and learns about their lives. The overarching issue is the mysterious condition known as ‘Overblot’ that occurs when someone uses too much magic. Allie is taken in by the Royal Sowards Association (RSA), a multinational group dedicated to helping others. They discover that something about being from another world allows Allei to purify blot, and she saves the ML’s during their adventures.
You honestly liked the novel at first. The worldbuilding was captivating and the characters were interesting. Unfortunately as the story progressed the MC became increasingly disappointing. Allie is first presented as an average, innocent young lady who just wants to do good, but you can't think of her as anything other than a loser. It’s understandable how someone transported to a new world would start off with little agency, but despite many opportunities for character growth the MC only seems to get worse.
Allie claims to have big dreams but never works towards them. She touts the value of being independent but stays reliant on handouts from the other characters. When faced with the suffering of others Allie cries about the unfairness of life then just… moves on. It was so frustrating for you to be shown glimpses of an interesting world while stuck with the viewpoint of such an agentless character. Considering all this, it would be an understatement to say that you were upset upon waking up in the headquarters of Night Raven Collaborative (NRC), a dark counterpart to RSA.
If there were a need to describe NRC in one word, that word would be ‘petty’. Some time after RSA’s founding a group of villainous individuals realized that the united heroes were causing all their schemes to fail. The group reluctantly learned to work together which led to the founding of NRC, a secret society dedicated to the destruction of RSA. Now, millennia later, the heirs of these dark legacies are still trying to defeat RSA.
But that's enough exposition, back to Reader.
You are quickly discovered by Dire Crowley, a dark fae who was tasked by the original founders to take care of the organization as a sort of regent in their absence. In the present day he is the public face of NRC’s leadership. He questions you using magic to determine who you are and why you're here.
Now, at this point it's been years since you last read Twisted Wonderland, and a lot has happened since then, so you have no idea what's going on. This is actually a good thing as your genuine confusion convinces Crowley you aren't some sort of infiltrator. He is quick to focus on the fact that you came from another world, and like Ambrose did with Allison, Crowley suspects that your trans-dimensional travels may have imbued you with special abilities. It's pretty lucky that the man got so caught up in fantasies of exploiting your potential power, because the more he spoke the more you realized exactly where you were.
Yeah sure, as far as post death situations go it could probably be worse. But seriously? It couldn't have been a story that you actually finished? Isn't the protagonist supposed to be an expert in the fictional world? Well at least there are some secrets that you know about.
Thanks to some quick thinking, you manage to convince Crowley to give you custody of an estate that NRC owns but has mostly forgotten. It's obvious that he intends to keep you close for observation. But thanks to the novel you know that the head of NRC is a lazy penny-pincher who will take any chance to offload work onto others. From his perspective it must have seemed like a deal, you stay close while also taking responsibility for something he considers a waste of resources.
The Ramshackle estate was originally a neutral ground for the founders to meet in. but once they built a more grandiose HQ the place was abandoned and left in disrepair. The only reason you thought of it was due to a couple chapters where junior members of the RSA tried to investigate rumors of an evil organization, but had to stop and rescue Allie from the ghosts. There was a short interlude where the shadowy leads of the evil organization had a group call to complain about the heroes and mock them for going after such a useless place.
Except the joke is on them because later Allie and the juniors return to discover a magic mirror that does… something. You had dropped the story before they revealed that part. The point is that there's something valuable in Ramshackle and it now belongs to you. Initially you intended to pawn the mirror and gtfo. Too bad grim had to go and ruin it. A talking monster who, as far as you remember, never appeared in the novel, but somehow managed to break into the building and worm his way into your heart.
Ugh, whatever. You can improvise.
#twisted wonderland au#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland reader insert#twst isekai au#twst mc#twst x reader#twst wonderland#twst#twst au
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HIIII CONGRATS ON 2K FOLLOWERS 🗣🗣🗣
Can I request prompt #32 with Mammon?! Where the brothers are doing their usual teasing of Mammon and it finally gets to him. He then goes to MC for comfort! Maybe cuddling involved? 👀
thank you! of course you can :)
i love a good hurt comfort with mammon
enjoy <3
prompt 32 w/ Mammon
You loved the brothers, no doubt. You’d all formed unbreakable bonds and you spent lots of time together. They loved each other too. But at the end of the day, they were demon who really did treat each other as siblings. They were downright cruel to each other at times. You understood to some degree, but you and your siblings never went that far. You would get into a loud argument, but about ten minutes later, be good friends again and give each other a helping hand. Maybe that’s how the brothers expected their relationship to be, but it felt like more times than not, they took things a little too far.
It was oddly quiet in the house. You and Lucifer were sitting in his room together. He was doing paperwork, while you tried planning the latest shenanigan that Diavolo had proposed. You occasionally asked him for advice or his opinion on something. From time to time, the two of you would randomly start to chat about things that happened to come to mind. It was nice to work in silence, but it did leave you questioning what the rest of the household was doing.
“Do you think I should try plan the venue set up around the ice sculpture, or the games? If the sculpture was in the center, it would definitely help elevate the overall elegance, but the games are the whole point of the event. I’m not really sure what Diavolo was thinking asking me to plan a classy, but fun event. It’s very him though, I will say.” You stared blankly at the paper you were sketching on. It was rather crude, but it was only the first draft.
Lucifer remained silent for a second. “Plan around the games. The sculpture can be at the far end of the venue. Still center, but helps put the focus on what Lord Diavolo wanted. Besides, who know what kinds of games he wants to plan? The more room the better.” Lucifer didn’t look up from his work, but you could tell he’d thought hard about what you’d said.
“Thanks. You’re right.” You went back to sketching, making note of what he said off to the side with your other little notes. The two of you sat in silence for a little while longer, before Lucifer spoke up again.
“It’s awfully silent. I think I’m going to go check up on everyone.” He abruptly got up. You had been thinking the same thing.
“Alright, I’ll stay here for now I think. If you have any issues, call me.” You had a few ideas you wanted to get down, alas you forget them.
“I’ll be back shortly.” He shut the door behind him, leaving you alone in his room. You thought about snooping a little, but that would be a breach of his privacy. Besides, how many people could say they were trusted so much so by Lucifer himself that they were left alone in his room? You continued to work, jotting down ideas that came to mind to bring up with Diavolo and Barbatos later.
When you finally looked up, you realized Lucifer still wasn’t back. With that, you got up and decided to look for him. He hadn’t called for you, but knowing him, he wouldn’t even if there was something wrong. The house was still silent. It gave you an icky sort of dread. Something was wrong. You grew more and more panicked by the minute, throwing open every door in the house in search of anybody, but to no avail. The last place you could think to check was outside.
Fortunately, they were all out there.
Unfortunately, some kind of conflict seemed to be happening.
You struggled to take in everything that happening, But, the first thing you zeroed in on was Mammon. He strangely wasn’t part of whatever was happening. He was sitting on the ground, head hanging and looking defeated. Ignoring everyone else, you quickly made your way over to him and knelt beside him. He didn’t even turn to acknowledge you.
“Mammon?” You took his hand, but you still got no reaction. You gently took his face in your other hand and turned it towards you. You’ll never forget the expression on his face. It was devoid of the joy and that smile you were so used to seeing. Instead, it was blank. It was eerie seeing him with a blank slate of an expression. He looked without looking, as if he didn’t even register you were there. “Mams. Let’s go inside.” You didn’t know what happened, but that could wait. Right now, you knew he needed to be away from the ongoing argument. They were so into the fight, they didn’t even notice the two of you leaving.
After you shut the door behind you, the din was deafened. No wonder you didn’t realize they were outside. You led Mammon back up to his room and locked the door behind the both of you. You knew he had some snacks and drinks in his mini fridge in case you needed them. You sat him down, and threw one of the blankets you’d left in his room around his shoulder. “What happened?” Now that the two of you were alone, you figured he might be more receptive to you.
Mammon turned to look at you: the most reaction you’d see out of him so far. He stared at you, and you held his hand comfortingly. He gazed at you, still with a mostly blank expression. “Yer too good to me.” He finally spoke.
“You deserve it. I don’t think I could imagine my life without you.” You were a little confused where all of this was coming from, making you wonder what might have happened.
“Well, my brothers could. They don’t need me.” He looked away from you again.
“What are you talking about? Of course they need you. This family wouldn’t be complete without you. You’re the great Mammon.” You tried to lift his spirits, but it didn’t seem to work.
“Ya’d think differently if you didn’t see me so positively. I’m a piece of scum.” You lent forward a little, trying to meet his eyes, but he fully turned away. He gripped your hand tighter. You sunk back into your chair, but he didn’t move back to how he was before.
“What’d they say?” You move his hand and held it to your chest.
“They told me I was a stain on the family and I didn’t deserve my title. That all I did was make their life harder. They said it in the heat of the argument, so maybe they didn’t mean it, but I’m starting to thing they’re right.” You felt your heart throb for him. It seemed as if he was past the point of tears, because you saw none now and before. He seemed almost numb to it all. If you didn’t know him, you’d just assume he was tired. But you did. And you knew just what you needed to say to try and help.
“You’re Mammon. You fought beside Lucifer and earned your spot fair and square. They might not see what makes you special, but I do.I got to know you much more recently than they did, but we’re so close. Did you ever stop to wonder why? You’re so sweet and loving to me, even early on. It was really great to know I could trust someone in this new and scary world. To me, you’re perfect. I don’t care what anyone else says. You’re my first demon, after all.” You spoke from the heart. “You light up my world, Mams. I’m really glad I met you.” While he was still facing away from you, you felt the grip on your hand soften a little.
“Do ya really think that?” He seemed tentative with his words, as if you might take them back any second.
He still seemed unsure, so you continued. “Think of it this way. Every choice you ever made led you here, and the same goes for me. Even if every choice was a bad one, which they weren’t, we still ended up here, together. You make my life better, and if I need to tell you it a million times, I will.”
“Really?” He finally turned back to look at you. His eyes were still free to tears, but a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
“Of course I do. Why else would I be here with you right now?” With that, Mammon tackled you into a hug. You playfully screamed, but hugged him back. He needed it. You let him have his moment, and the two of you remained snuggled up in your blanket on his bed. He rolled over, so you were on top of the cuddle hug now.
“I can’t be suffocating my human, now can I?” His signature smile was back. You were glad you were able to help him. You’d do anything for that smile.
“Prime example of you being sweet.” You laughed as he threw the blanket over your head. As much as he tended to deny it, he truly did love his human. You picked him up during times likes this and supported him no matter what, even when he tended to act prickly with his emotions. You were just what he needed in his life.
#2k followers special#obey me#obey me!#obey me x reader#obey me mammon#omswd#obey me shall we date#obey me! shall we datee?#obey me! shall we date#gn reader
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